Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Never #2

Please be warned, I’m going to talk about poop in this blog. So if you’re easily offended (which begs the question of why you’re reading my blog in the first place) by the word ‘poop’ or its various other forms, such as ‘pooping’ or ‘pooped,’ read no further.

NOTE: I will probably not use the words ‘pooper,’ ‘poop-tastic’ or ‘poop-itations.’ No, I don’t actually know what that means.

Anyway, last weekend we had a small get-together to celebrate a friend’s birthday. During said celebration, the subject of sleep came up, followed by dreams, followed by dreaming you have to pee, but can’t find a bathroom.

We all agreed that this stank, especially in the rare occasions when you actually do successfully ‘go,’ but then just have to go some more. Even worse is when you have to go while being chased by zombies with cameras. Then again, that might be just me.

All of us have had this experience, but it occurred to me that I had never had a dream were I had to poop really badly and woke up needing to poop. No one else in the room had either.

Why is that? Are we just hard wired to not poop in our sleep? And while we’re on the subject, can you sneeze when you’re asleep? If you’re a sleep-walker, can you sleep-walk to the bathroom and pee and/or poop while you’re asleep? If you sneeze when you’re sleep-walking, can you wake yourself up by sneezing? Can you sneeze so hard that you poop yourself?

I don’t know, I just think this is interesting (I was going to say ‘fascinating,’ but I don’t want to use ‘fascinate’ and ‘poop’ in the same context). The human body is a weird, wonderful vessel. It is both amazingly tough and surprisingly vulnerable. It is an adaptable, flexible machine with some truly astounding abilities and features.

And then there’s ear-hair, which kind of throws things for a loop.



Gillsing said...

In my dreams I go in all the wrong places, and I don't stop going either, because the physical need that is the cause for my dream is still there. The drawer is overflowing? Well, that's too bad. Clearly it should've been bigger, or equipped with some sort of drain... Uh... are you sure it's ok to go in the drawer? Something about it doesn't feel quite right... Oh well, it's too late now!

Gryph said...

It is completely possible for someone who sleepwalks to use the toilet, wash their hands, and go back to bed without waking up. i have witnesses who can verify this, though i was of course asleep at the time. as far as "sleep pooping" i've never heard of that happening.

Jason Janicki said...

Yeah, I've had simiilar problems. Furniture, topiary, cars, none of them really designed for the purpose their being used for. . .

I did have a cousin who put his hand through a window while sleep walking (he thought the house was on fire), so I totally believe that you could do a variety of complicated tasks.

Anonymous said...

"Poopitation" is the act, or process, of pooping; a bowel movement. "Have you had any strange poopitations lately?"

I think your body is wired not to poop in your sleep. My daughter is potty-traning now, so we discuss poop often. I noticed long before she was using the toilet during the day, she had stopped pooping at night.


Jason Janicki said...

A new word! And here I thought I was just pulling it out of my butt (pun intended).

Interesting. There has to be a reason why you can pee in your sleep, but not poop? Maybe it has to do with pee being sterile and therefore, not particularly harmful, while poop draws flies and stuff?

Anonymous said...

When I was younger, I used to sleepwalk to the bathroom. What is really wierd is to wake up on the toilet and have no memory of getting up to go there.....