Thursday, September 12, 2013

Joyous Reunions

Well, the good news is that Muffin is back. He showed up at my door this morning with an oddly small Mickey Mouse hat glued on his head and looking sheepish. Though, in hindsight, he may have just eaten a sheep. I don’t know. He is now back in his pen and surely dreaming lovely snake dreams of gallivanting around Disneyland and being allowed to bypass the crowds and get on all the rides first.

Seriously, if you were manning The Pirates of the Caribbean ride and a fifteen foot King Cobra showed up wearing a little Mickey Mouse hat, you’d let him go first, wouldn’t you?

In other news, an Anonymous commenter asked if the comic was ever coming back. And my answer was drum roll please yes.

I currently have an artist toiling away in a secret location in Germany. She’s in Germany because that’s where she lives and it’s a secret because I have no idea what her address is. Or her real name. Or any important details, really. Which might explain why she insists on drawing Lily as a dwarf. And Iri looks suspiciously like Orlando Bloom.

I’ll send her a coded message about that.

However, the bad news is that it will still be awhile before anything goes live (like end of the year-ish, fingers crossed). I would like to not repeat the mistakes of the past and pull the trigger on this before we’re good and ready. I will probably make a whole new set of mistakes, so there’s that. Stay tuned, as they say, for more info as it becomes available.

In other news, I have a few more projects in the works that I can’t talk about yet. These involve artists in other places. So, again, stay tuned.

And does anyone know how to get a hat off a hat that’s been glued to a snake, ‘cause I’m all out of ideas?


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Not Lost Per Se

I can’t find my cobra.

Now, I haven’t lost it, as I am perfectly aware of where it’s not. It’s not in the trap, under my bed, curled up in the dryer, or sunning by the window. In fact, I’m positive it isn’t in my apartment at all. So, I do know where it is: it’s not here.

That being said, I hope Muffin is okay.

Yes, I named my King Cobra ‘Muffin’ after a dog we used to have. The original Muffin was a ten-pound mongrel who enjoyed chasing cars. This was all well and good until he chased one driven by my dad. From the front. So, we lost Muffin and I decided to name my cobra after him because he likes to chase things too.
NOTE: My father was hard on our dog population. It was either because he was a bad driver or we had a habit of getting really dumb dogs. Or maybe both, I dunno.

I was considering putting up reward notices, but the guy at Kinko’s (yes, it’s now Fed-Ex, but I worked there for five years when it was Kinko’s and I’m too old to change) thought it would be a bad idea to put:

15’ King Cobra
Answers to Muffin
Reward $20 and
Free Anti-Venom

On a flyer, so I acquiesced.

Instead, I’ve taken to wandering the neighborhood and shouting ‘Here Muffin!’ very loudly. Surprisingly, I’ve met a lot of women this way. Unfortunately, the conversation usually goes like this:

Me: Muffin! Here boy!

Attractive Woman: Oh, you lost your dog! I’ll help you look!

Me: Well, in the interest of full disclosure, I’ve lost my pet, yes.

Attractive Woman: What? What do you mean?

Me: Muffin isn’t actually a dog.

Attractive Woman: Oh, Muffin’s a cat?

Me: No, he’s a 15 foot King Cobra.

Sound of attractive woman running away.

Me: But he’s really cute!

So, as mentioned, Muffin is about 15 feet long and around 15 pounds. He’s trained to attack ninjas, so if you happen across a King Cobra, throw a ninja at it and see if it bites. That is, if the snake bites the ninja. Though, if you found a ninja that bites snakes that’s pretty cool too.

And I should say in case anyone takes me seriously: I do not have a King Cobra nor have I lost a King Cobra. I saw one once at a zoo when I was five, but that was about it. I did cry, but that’s only because my parents left me at the gorilla exhibit.

In all fairness, they thought I was supposed to be there.