Thursday, January 27, 2011

8 Days

Hey everyone,

Just a gentle reminder that in just 8 days, we will be appearing at Cornish Community College to take part in a panel on Graphic Novels for the Seattle branch of the Graphic Artists Guild.

Some of the topics we'll cover will include 'lasers: beam weapons of the future or irritating toy?' 'Who wrote the book of love?' and 'holy crap, I'm on a panel with Peter Bagge, Phil Foglio, Mike Grell and Michael Oeming!'

Actually, we'll just be talking about graphic novels. I will be thinking about those other topics though, so feel free to ask me about them afterwards.

Just in case you didn't recognize all the names I listed above, let me say that they're all quite famous and if you're at all interested in comics, graphic novels, or the letter 'r,' I would strongly suggest you attend.

And we'll be there too.

Have a great weekend.



Some of you may have heard of the new fad among kids called ‘weasel snorting.’ Now, while I believe that what a person and a weasel do in the privacy of their own home (assuming, of course, that they’re both legally adults) is their own business, this is just wrong. Especially the bit with the bendy straws.


But enough about that. What I really want to talk about today is the growing trend of spammers registering on forums and then mass mailing to all the members. We here at Wayfarer’s Moon have fallen victim to this tactic, which is why we’ve instituted a few security measures to attempt to keep them out.

It used to be that you could just register. Now, however, we have to force people to go through a series of steps.

1. Provide a user name and email.
2. Provide at least three current references. Family does not count.
3. Find a sphinx and answer its riddle. And no, the answer is not ‘man.’
4. Send us the answer to the riddle via a WWII Enigma machine.
5. Correctly input a captcha.
6. Stab a vampire with a fork and successfully get away.
7. Watch an Uwe Boll movie. This will prove your courage.
8. Watch a second Uwe Boll movie. This is just because we’re mean.
9. Do the Time Warp (again).

Okay, fine. You really don’t have to do all that (though it would be cool if you did). You just register and then we try to establish whether or not you’re a real person via some cross-checking. It’s kind of a pain, but generally we only get one or two a day, so it’s not that big a deal.

However, for some reason, I had eight today (plus one ‘honest to goodness, real-life person’). It took me almost thirty minutes to go through them all, thirty minutes I could have spent doing something productive like playing FreeCell.

NOTE: I love FreeCell and I rock at it. I play FreeCell and keep the stats going until I lose one and then I zero them out. My personal best was 428 wins in a row. It took well over a year and then my computer tanked. And yes, I have no life.

So, forum spammers (henceforth known as ‘buttheads’), please stop. You register, we ban you. You try again, we ban you again. It’s like a very silly little war that just wastes a lot of time. Time that could be better spent on FreeCell. Or curing something.

Please, if not for me, do it for the kids. And the weasels.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Blood Elf Paladin With A Bad Moon Rising

You may or may not have heard, but the signs of the zodiac have been changed. I’m not really sure why this happened, but I’m sure it was done because of precise scientific calculations that were meticulously and painstakingly assembled by a team of experts that included at least three Nobel Prize winners.

Huh. I just looked it up and it turns out that it has to do with a shift in the Earth’s axis. I was all set to make a joke about a gypsy curse or a mummy’s nose or vampire hairdos and it turns out there was an actual scientific explanation.

Apparently, the astronomers are in agreement about this, but most astrologers are unconcerned and will continue to use the traditional dates and months.

Here’s my thing, though. The traditional symbols aren’t really all that relevant anymore. I’m a Leo and it doesn’t really mean anything to me. Sure, lions are cool. So are tigers, wolverines, nachos, cordless power tools, and if done right, flatulence.

My point is, people don’t relate to the signs anymore. At one point, the symbol for Aquarius was significant. It meant something. Now, it’s a guy pouring water. Probably from a Brita.

What we need are signs that people can relate to. I therefore humbly suggest that we go with the races from WoW.

There are twelve of them, they’re pretty diverse, and when you say ‘I’m a Tauren born under a Constipated Moon’ people will know what you mean. And to give you fiber.

And in all honesty, we should be able to just pick which sign we want. I know that goes against the whole astrological sign thing, but it gives you a chance to express yourself, to tell the whole world that you’re a Human and proud of it.

NOTE: I never play Humans in games. I’m a Human in real life (so it’s claimed), so I want to be something else when I’m in a fantasy world. As long as I get to hit things, I’m happy.

And why limit it to just race? Pick the class that you feel best represents you as well or even one you aspire to be like. If you feel like you need to Vanish on a regular basis, be a Rogue. If Slamming is your thing, be a Warrior. If calling down the primal force of fire and destroying all who oppose you is your thing, give me a call, we’ll work something out.

Me? Though I loved my Tauren Warrior, my Blood Elf Pallie was probably my favorite. There’s nothing quite like stabbing something and healing yourself at the same time. It used to make me giggle.



Thursday, January 13, 2011

Friday the 14th

Greetings! 2011 is upon us and the con season is nearing yet again.

Our first outing of the year will be at a Graphic Novel Panel taking place at the Comish College of the Arts for the Seattle branch of the Graphic Artists Guild on February 5th.

It’s a four-hour event where you can come listen to a panel of experts talk about how to produce graphic novels, ask questions, and even get a portfolio reviewed. The best part is the experts:

NOTE: They’ve all worked on a ton of projects, these are just some highlights :)

Peter Bagge of Hate, Neat Stuff, Martini Baton and Sweatshop.

Phil Foglio of What’s New With Phil and Dixie, Girl Genius, and Buck Godot.

Mike Grell of The Warlord, Jon Sable, and runs on numerous DC titles.

Michael Oeming of The Mice Templar, Powers, and Quixote.

And us. Jason and Leigh.


So, if you’re at all interested in comic books or graphic arts in general, here’s your chance to talk to some very big names in the comics field and have all your graphic novel questions answered.

Have a great weekend.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Mother Nature is Messing With Me

I don’t like snow. Well, that isn’t completely accurate. I don’t like driving in snow. I have nothing against the substance itself and in fact, was an ardent skier back in the day. It’s just that it always seems to snow at the wrong time.

For example: when I’m at work.

I drive a light, rear-wheel drive pick-up and live on a hill. The chance of me actually getting home if there’s decent snowfall is slim. In addition, there’s the whole ‘sliding backwards into oncoming traffic’ thing, which though exhilarating, is best left to professionals.

NOTE: Yes, I could put sandbags or a pile of hobos in the back of the truck to weigh it down, but I never seem to get around to it. Plus, it’s really hard to keep the hobos back there unless you tie them securely and for some reason, the police find this suspicious at best.

Now, once I’m home, everything is fine. I have several restaurants and grocery stores within walking distance and don’t mind an occasional stroll through a winter wonderland. In fact, if it snows enough, we might get a day off work, on account that they don’t want the employees to die getting there.

So, imagine my delight when I heard that it was supposed to snow last night. This meant that I could potentially get a snow day without the danger of driving and potentially wetting myself from sheer terror.

I went to the store, stocked up on movies and food (even bought ice-cream), and happily went to bed, thoughts of a pleasant day at home watching movies in my underwear racing through my head. Upon awakening, I sprang to the window (ie, shuffled grumpily) and was disappointed to find that there was no snow. Upon arriving at work, I was greeted with the news that it might snow at about 4 in the afternoon, meaning that I would get to drive in it.

Luckily, no snow materialized, so I was able to get home with only the usual minor abrasions (don’t ask). At this point, I was fine with the whole thing. No snow is better than snow. Yet as I write this, it is now snowing. There’s a good half-inch out there, with more coming down.

This is good, yes? No, as the weather report said that it won’t stick and should be gone by morning.

So, as far as I can tell, Mother Nature is just messing with me. She’s taunting me with snow and then yanking it away.


Snow or no snow, I don’t care. Just do one or the other.

Just as long as I don’t have to drive in it.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Parts Are Intact

Well, I’m back after a lovely vacation and Christmas with mother down in California. Food was eaten, drinks were quaffed, I gained about five pounds, and my mother refrained from shooting me, seeing as she’d just put up new wall paper.
So good news all around.

Even the ninjas, clowns, and mimes have declared a cease-fire for the season, which is nice because I’m getting tired of dodging shuriken, exploding pies, and invisible bullets. At least with the invisible bullets, I can just pretend I have an invisible shield and they don’t work. If the mimes ever think of invisible Teflon bullets, I may be in trouble.

You might think that with all this that I’m happy and carefree, skipping about as it were, whistling a jaunty tune.

NOTE: I’m not really a skipping whistler guy. I’m more a shuffling mutterer.

You’d be wrong.

It’s the nutcrackers. I have about a dozen, given to me over the years by my mother. I honestly have no idea why. She just started buying them for me. I admit, they’re an improvement over the Barbie dolls, but still.

Where was I? Oh yes.

It’s just that I’ve been finding the nutcrackers in odd places lately. There was one in the cabinet where I keep my Captain Crunch. There was one on the counter in the bathroom. There was even one under the desk when I started writing this. So either I’ve been sleep moving nutcrackers or there’s something nefarious going on. And sometimes, I can feel their wooden eyes on me. I realize this sounds nuts, but I can’t imagilasdkloaasdha

Ha ha. I am making a thing that is of amusement. The nutcrackers are best. They make all things more good. I am very fine. All of my human parts are intact and doing correct. I must go. I must order many hundreds of bags of nuts. In shells.

Delicious shells.

Jason the Human

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

We're back!

And updating again! Hope everyone had a good break.