Thursday, January 20, 2011

Blood Elf Paladin With A Bad Moon Rising

You may or may not have heard, but the signs of the zodiac have been changed. I’m not really sure why this happened, but I’m sure it was done because of precise scientific calculations that were meticulously and painstakingly assembled by a team of experts that included at least three Nobel Prize winners.

Huh. I just looked it up and it turns out that it has to do with a shift in the Earth’s axis. I was all set to make a joke about a gypsy curse or a mummy’s nose or vampire hairdos and it turns out there was an actual scientific explanation.

Apparently, the astronomers are in agreement about this, but most astrologers are unconcerned and will continue to use the traditional dates and months.

Here’s my thing, though. The traditional symbols aren’t really all that relevant anymore. I’m a Leo and it doesn’t really mean anything to me. Sure, lions are cool. So are tigers, wolverines, nachos, cordless power tools, and if done right, flatulence.

My point is, people don’t relate to the signs anymore. At one point, the symbol for Aquarius was significant. It meant something. Now, it’s a guy pouring water. Probably from a Brita.

What we need are signs that people can relate to. I therefore humbly suggest that we go with the races from WoW.

There are twelve of them, they’re pretty diverse, and when you say ‘I’m a Tauren born under a Constipated Moon’ people will know what you mean. And to give you fiber.

And in all honesty, we should be able to just pick which sign we want. I know that goes against the whole astrological sign thing, but it gives you a chance to express yourself, to tell the whole world that you’re a Human and proud of it.

NOTE: I never play Humans in games. I’m a Human in real life (so it’s claimed), so I want to be something else when I’m in a fantasy world. As long as I get to hit things, I’m happy.

And why limit it to just race? Pick the class that you feel best represents you as well or even one you aspire to be like. If you feel like you need to Vanish on a regular basis, be a Rogue. If Slamming is your thing, be a Warrior. If calling down the primal force of fire and destroying all who oppose you is your thing, give me a call, we’ll work something out.

Me? Though I loved my Tauren Warrior, my Blood Elf Pallie was probably my favorite. There’s nothing quite like stabbing something and healing yourself at the same time. It used to make me giggle.




Ehm said...

I like it! This world would be very interesting indeed if we could choose races and/or classes and be able to use those spells.

Alexander, the Chalybs Levitas said...

Would you be able to mix classes and races that don't mix in the game?

Race-wise, I'm not sure what I'd be. There are points in favor of the Gnomes, as I like to know the shape of things, and often find myself taking things apart to see hwo they work and putting them back together. I might also be a Troll, since I have a bit of a temper (berserking) and am fairly decent with throwing weapons.

Class-wise, I'd almost certainly be a mage, fire. They stop arguments with others (sheep), disrupt others' trains of thought (dispell), and can utterly destroy their enemies (primary damage rotation). Not to mention, the ease of travel, and that exciting feeling of falling without really falling.


Jason Janicki said...

I'm not to sure about using the spells. Would you want the idiot behind you in traffic to be able to sheep you? :)

Oh, absolutely. Mix races and classes to your hearts content. Go ahead and be a half-Gnome/half-Troll :)