Diaphanous (No Really)

I never get to say ‘diaphanous.’ This is perhaps unsurprising, but it’s a perfectly good word that I never get to use. The word just rolls off the tongue, sort of like licking silk (which I don’t recommend).

NOTE: Diaphanous would be a really great name for an Elf. Or a Roman. A Roman-Elf?

It just seems like a shame, y’know? There are all these neat words in the English language that you just never hear. They’re either too specific, too obscure, or simply too hard to say.

‘Defenestration’ is another one. It is both specific and obscure, though relatively easy to say (rhymes with some other word that I can’t think of right now).

How about ‘morion?’ No, not ‘moron,’ ‘morion.’ You could, I guess, call someone a morion, but it would be both strange and nonsensical (and would thus score double points).

Here are a few more of my favorite, rarely used words:

Ossuary
Jugulate
Awl
Missive
Unguent
Rune
Prestidigitation
Septuagenarian
Orifice
Phantasmagoria
Salacious

So, your homework, should you choose to accept it, is to use one word this week that you never use. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just unusual and pleasing to your ear. I will try my best to work ‘diaphanous’ into a conversation, but I work mostly with men of the smelly, stout variety, so diaphanous might not be a good thing.

Cheers,
-Jason

I Am Murloc!

I first saw this many moons ago, before I was really sure what a Murloc was. However, thanks to my good friend Laura, I was once again reminded of this very cool machinima by Level 70 Tauren Chieftan 'I Am Murloc.'

Follow the link to enjoy!

http://media.worldofwarcraft.com/movies/video_loader/wow_video.htm?vid=iammurloc-en&dir=movies/iammurloc&img=iammurloc&rating=wow

Cheers,
-Jason

We’d also like to introduce our new colorist, Leah Eckstrom. Page 108 is her first page of work. We think it’s a great start!

-Leigh

Poop(ed)

Well, Leigh and I went to Bell-Con and the good news is we survived.

We were up at 5:30, got there at 9-ish and got home at around 8:00. All in all, it was a good con. It was small, but there was a pretty steady stream of people. Leigh got some nice sketches done and I gave away tons of bookmarks.

To our right was the brother and sister team of James and Lydia from Inanimate Sloth Bear Press, whom you might remember from my ECC blog. They were pleasant as usual. To our left was Jason Metcalf, a very talented artist from Seattle. Both Leigh and I talked to him and his wife quite a bit and they were very cool. The Bluewater Productions guys (who hosted the con) were cool as usual, though I didn't get to talk to them as much as I would have liked. Of course, there was also Beth and Maria from Famine Lands, who we carpooled with to the con (and are now our official 'con-buddies').

Overall, it was a good con.

Yet, I am still rather pooped, having not really slept on Friday and having to get up early today. I do have a couple stories for later, so stay tuned!

Cheers,
-Jason

Everything I Need I Learned From WoW: Part 3

Life Lesson #4: Large Craft Don’t Require Pilots or Crew
Subways, Boats, Zeppelins: what do these things have in common? That’s right, no crew needed. They can make transcontinental trips without any sort of navigation or direction of any kind. And they never break down. They just disappear for a while and then start up again. Makes you wonder what the pilots in the airplanes are really doing during the flight (my guess: PSP).

Life Lesson #5: Everything is Either Too Big or Too Small or Too Many
If you’re going to be ambushed by something, it will either be too small, meaning that you won’t get any XP from it or too large, meaning that you can’t defeat it by yourself. If you do happen to fight something that is level appropriate, chances are other, level appropriate stuff will join in and you’ll get creamed in stereo or greater (what would three channels be?). Rejoice when you get jumped by something you can kill in short order, get good XP for, and can get away from in good order.

Life Lesson #6: Everyone Can Dance
Perhaps the most important lesson in all of WoW is that everyone can dance. Be it a somewhat lewd rump smacking, a hat dance, or whatever it is that Orcs do, everyone can do it and should do it as often as possible. Just remember in between raids, killing stuff, being chased by stuff, and finding 6’ staves in tree snakes, to hit /dance every once in a while. You never know, you might even want to try it in RL.

Cheers,
-Jason

Everything I Need I Learned From WoW: Part 2

Life Lesson #2: Nature Hates You
Yep. Nature and everything in it hates you. All the bears, wolves, bunnies, squirrels, boars, deer, wombats, duck-billed platypuses, squid, lemmings, yaks, and the vultures, all of them hate you. Especially the vultures. Everything will attack you without remorse, generally in packs. They even attack Druids, who theoretically adore nature. Feel free to kill them, however they’re probably lower level than you and therefore aren’t worth it.

Life Lesson #3: Animals Are Larger on the Inside
As a corollary to #2, animals are much larger on the inside than they are on the outside (not unlike the Tardis). A tiny squirrel can swallow an entire battle-axe whole. I don’t know what is more amazing: the fact that a squirrel can apparently eat magical weapons whole and not die or the fact that they don’t ever seem to poop them out again. Where do they find these weapons, you may ask? Obviously from the bodies of adventurers they mauled (see Life Lesson #2).

Tomorrow: the Conclusion!

Everything I Need I Learned From WoW: Part 1

I’m not too proud to admit that I played a couple hours of WoW last weekend. I know I swore it off a couple months ago, but it’s like a dear, old friend. You’ve heard all the stories, know all the jokes, and understand where they’re coming from. It’s comfortable. Well, that and I really felt like stabbing something repeatedly while numbers popped up, which is not something that generally happens in real life, unless you happen to assault someone carrying a box of flashcards.

Anyway, I ran around, stabbing, bludgeoning, and hacking and not really paying all that much attention. WoW is nice like that. You can just sort of zone whilst committing grievous bodily harm. It was around level 22 while slaughtering bears and looking for copper nodes that I realized all the life lessons one needs are contained in WoW.

Life Lesson #1: Don’t kill things wantonly
This is a biggie. You just don’t wander around killing things. Sure, there’s a veritable fleet of Ghostpaw Howlers between you and the next flight path, but you shouldn’t just go to town on them. Why, you may ask? Because there’s a quest to kill them somewhere in the zone and it would be silly to kill a bunch of them and not get the XP and the reward. If you can kill it, you can bet your bottom dollar that someone wants them dead and will give you a couple hundred XP and a really nice axe.

Tomorrow: More Life Lessons

Thank you.

I’d like to take a moment and thank everyone who emailed or posted on the blog and the forums to lend support about the loss of my cat. I got a lot of good advice, as well as people sharing their own experiences which meant a lot to me and I really appreciate it. Many thanks to you all and I hope all your kitties are well.

-Leigh

Harry Potter #6

Well, it's on the way: the next film installment of the Harry Potter series!

Ummmm . . . stuff happens! It's actually been so long that I can't remember most of what happened in the book. I know Malfoy actually does something clever, but other than that, I can't really recall what the salient points were.

Guess I need to do some rereading!

Here is the link to the official trailor: http://www.warnerbros.com/?page=movies/#/page=movies&pid=f-c6632760/HARRY_POTTER_AND_THE_HALF-BLOOD_PRINCE&asset=065964/Harry_Potter_and_the_Half-Blood_Prince_-_Coming_To_Theaters_July_17_2009&type=video/

And, if you're brave enough, a link to a very special fan film. Warning: While completly safe for work, it might actually kill you. You have been warned.



Thanks to Laura for the above links!

Cheers,
-Jason

Bell-Con

Next Saturday, the 27th, Leigh and I will be attending Bell-Con!

If you can make it, we'll be delighted to talk to you about any topic you might like, including gall stones, stormtroopers, things beginning with the letter 'P' and of course, zombots.

Leigh will be sketching, of course, while I will once again be offering to write free sentences. No one has dared ask for one yet, but someone will eventually. Of course, when they do, I will go completely brain-dead and come up with something like 'Ham makes me itch.'

Anyhow, look for the usual update on Tuesdays and the randomness I call 'blogging' most of the week.

Cheers,
-Jason

Rude?

I was prepared to write a rant today, but after thinking it over, I was unsure if it was a real problem or just me being pissy.

You see, there is road construction going on near my apartment. One of the lanes is routinely blocked off and everyone gets to merge into the other. This being Washington, everyone pretty much lets everyone else in (one of the reasons I love it here). In California, for example, you generally have to discharge a firearm to even earn a glance from a driver and you more or less have to ‘merge aggressively,’ which is defined as ‘shoving your car into the tiniest gap you can and hoping the other guy doesn’t hit you.’ He will, of course, honk and swear at you, but that’s like saying ‘hi’ in Cali.

Anyway, every morning, I dutifully get into the necessary lane. However, someone will always zip past me in the ‘off’ lane, getting as far ahead as they can before they merge, thereby skipping past 20-odd cars. They merge ahead of me and I sit there, becoming irritated.

So, my question is, is this behavior rude or just smart? Obviously, the people that do this are moving ahead of me, so it is definitely a winning strategy. However, you are basically peeing on someone else’s cornflakes when you do it. Should I get irritated or just shrug it off?

If not, then I will go back to patiently singing (badly) along with the radio. If so, I will rehearse choice words to shout. Such as: ‘Your mother, though a fine, upstanding lady, prefers the affections of orcs rather than those of a gentleman of human descent!’ Or possibly: ‘The equipment on your main in WoW is laughably underpowered for his or her level!’

I may need to work on my swearing.

Curious,
-Jason

It’s Not Easy Being Dead: Part 2

The good guys actually manage to do it. They procure the +3 Backscratcher of Endless Reach and give it to the old crone (who promptly uses it, I might add) and they get their ‘Speak with Dead.’

However, in all honesty, what is a conversation with a dead guy really going to accomplish? Most of the time your response is going to be ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!,’ especially if the poor bloke doesn’t realize he’s dead.

So, in keeping with the theme, here’s the Ten Most Common Responses from Speaking with the Dead (or TMCRSD).

1. AAAAAAAAAAGH! (we covered this)

2. I’m what?

3. Que? (They always presume the dead guy speaks their language).

4. I was the Tyrant of Lur, Destroyer of Marlune. My own mother called me Thuril the Bastard. Why would I tell you anything?

5. You defiled my grave to ask me what?

6. If I knew where the Searing Sandals of Sarkis were, why didn’t I use them to prevent my own death?

7. Are you eating right? And that armor! Have you cleaned it lately? Oh, and just look at that hair! You go and get a hair-cut before you talk to me again! And what about kids? Are you even seeing anyone? No? Well, with that hair and armor, I can see why! (In case you had to talk with your long-deceased mother).

8. You do realize you’re the 11th set of adventurers to ask me that?

9. No, no, no, you want Elgorath the Bloody! I’m Elgorath the Blogger!

10.You want the Wand of Arkterian? Why? All it does is cure heartburn. No, it doesn’t shoot lightning. Yes, I am sure. I know, I used it multiple times. Arkterian used to make these sausages . . . No, he wasn’t the Chief of the Ungorians, he was the Chef of the Ungorians. What, don’t look at me, you’re the ones who called me up, remember?

Cheers,
-Jason

It’s Not Easy Being Dead: Part 1

It is inevitable. At some point in fantasy and sci-fi shows, somebody has to talk to someone else who’s already dead. In the fantasy worlds, they just find an old guy or gal who can do it and presto (though, obviously, they have to quest for the Spoon I Dropped in the Desert Last Week and Need for a Tea Party on the Fifth first). In sci-fi universes, it’s usually some sort of gizmo that runs on the tears of orphans. In Farscape, they had the best of both worlds and just had Zhan(sp?) do it.

NOTE: Good going, Sci-Fi Channel. Farscape was one of the best sci-fi shows ever!

When speaking to the dead, however, there tends to be this assumption that the dead are somehow ‘wise.’ They ‘know’ things beyond the realm of men. They’ve ‘crossed over’ or some such and are thus, are privy to secrets unknowable by the living.

Why is that?

How come every twit who was an ignorant slob in life suddenly gets ‘the Code of Eternity’ when they die? Bob Dirt, the illiterate mud farmer, suddenly gets the Wisdom of the Ages when he kicks the bucket. Sure, when a Jedi Knight dies, they get the keys to the Big Book. They were relatively wise in life, it only seems fitting. But giving it to everyone, even those who probably couldn’t care less? That seems a bit much.

I would imagine there are a lot of conversations like this:

Keeper of All Knowledge: Lo, now that thou hast passed on, I grant thee the Secrets of the Universe!

Bob Dirt: What?

Keeper of All Knowledge: Thou art dead, and therefore all the Mysteries of Creation are thine!

Bob Dirt: What’re you goin’ on ‘bout?

Keeper of All Knowledge: You’re dead, all right? You’ve kicked the bucket! You’re worm food!

Bob Dirt: Well, I kinda figured that, what with bein’ run over by that harvester and all.

Keeper of All Knowledge: Great! We’re in agreement! Now that you’re dead, you can learn all of the secrets of the universe. They’re all in this big book over here. Go ahead, you earned it.

Bob Dirt: Does it got any pictures?

Keeper of All Knowledge: Pictures? Not really. Why? Wait, where are you going?

Bob Dirt: If it ain’t got no pictures, I ain’t interested. I’m gonna go find me a beer.

Keeper of All Knowledge: But, this book answers all the greatest questions mankind has!

Bob Dirt: Does it know where I can get me a beer?

Keeper of All Knowledge: No, not exactly.

Bob Dirt: Then I ain’t interested!

Tomorrow: Part 2 – Conversations with Dead People

Longboarding

I had no idea this even existed. The first part is rather dull, but wait 'till you get to the action.

I love the fact that they're no non-chalant. They even hand the camera back and forth.

Just, wow.



Tomorrow: Conversations with Dead People

Cheers,
-Jason

I Have No Idea

A busy week as usual for Wayfarer's Moon. There was penciling, inking, coloring, lettering, and writing going on.

However, for the three people that read this, I will warn you that Tuesday's comic may be late due to technical difficulties. I know, I know, but we haven't had them in a long time (we were starting to miss them).

Also, in two weeks, we will be attending Bell-Con! So, all of you in Northern Washington, please come by and see us!

Cheers,
-Jason

Nerds Unite!: Part 4

So, after a week's voting, we have an official winner for the name of a group of nerds. The results were compiled from Blog comments, a thread in the forum, and direct emailings to myself.

The voting is as follows:
Googleplex (or just 'plex): 2 votes
Array: 2 votes
Conclave: 2 votes
Con (in whatever form): 3 votes

And the winner is: Fellowship, with 4 votes!

There we have it, folks, we are now officially a Fellowship of Nerds.

I wil now begin to investigate how to get this into Wikipedia, so that the world may know of our stunning decision. Also feel free to argue the point. We're nerds, if it's one thing we do well, it's argue.

Cheers,
-Jason

Unemployment: Part 2

So the question is: what would a bunch of violent, unwashed psychopaths like orcs be good at? Assuming it doesn’t involve exterminating all that is good in the world.

Here then, are my top 5 jobs for unemployed orcs.

#5 Meter Maids
Yes, Meter Maids (or Parking Enforcement Officers, if you prefer). They would drive around in little carts, writing out tickets to unlawfully parked cars. The writing the ticket part could be troublesome, but they would get absolutely ZERO guff from the public.

#4 Driving Tester
If you can drive while a 200-pound orc snarls and glowers at you from the passenger seat, nothing you see on the road will ever faze you.

#3 School Crossing Guard
Honestly, there would never be a problem with people stopping at crosswalks if orcs were the crossing guards. Mainly because they would have spears and would be allowed to kill your car if they thought it necessary. Frankly, you would stop half a block away, just to be certain.

#2 Professional Hockey Players
They wear armor and helmets and charge around with sticks trying to hit a small puck while doing violent things to one another. It’s perfect. The orcs have every needed skill save for ice-skating and I’m willing to bet Sauron had a crack team of snow orcs out there somewhere. Granted, he didn’t have a crack team of ‘Defend Mount Doom’ guys, but there you go.


#1 Motivational Speaker
Do you have a group that needs motivating? Are they umenthused and lackluster? Well, just have an orc come in and scare the crap out of them!

Argth: Me Argth! Me kill tweny Men! Me kill you if you no (checks paper) sell more insurance! You do what paper say! You do it many times! Or Argth come back with club! You no want Argth to come back with club!

You! You look happy! You want Argth come back? You want Argth to eat Man flesh? You no do what paper say, Argth come back! Argth bring whole tribe! We have a luau!

And there you go! Tune in tomorrow for the results of the voting for the Nerd Naming!

Cheers,
-Jason

Unemployment: Part 1

I happened to be thinking about the Lord of the Rings the other day. This happens to me sometimes, for no readily apparent reason. I’ll be walking along and suddenly think ‘If Mordor had a fast food restaurant, what would they serve?”

NOTE: It would be called Sauron’s and it would serve Hobbit Burgers, Men-on-a-Stick, Orc Nuggets and Diet Dr. Pepper. Happy Meals would come with very small trebuchets.

I blame my parents.

Anyhow, it occurred to me that with the defeat of Sauron and the Beginning of the Age of Men, what would all the orcs do? There has to be a couple hundred thousand of them left and they can’t all get jobs at the DMV.

Obviously, they would need to interview first:

Interviewer: So now . . . Argth . . . is it?

Argth: Yah.

Interviewer: Great. Now, I just have to ask. What are you wearing around your neck?

Argth: Man skull.

Interviewer: Super. So then, what are your qualifications?

Argth: Me inna army long time. Me kill (slowly counts on fingers) 8 Men at white city. Me killed dem gud.

Interviewer: Ah. Is there anything else?

Argth: Me gots . . . er . . . people skill.

Interviewer: Excellent. And why do you want to work as a Kindergarten teacher?

Argth: Me likes kids. Dey tasty.

Tomorrow: Part 2

Crosswords and Spiders

This crossed my computer screen the other day and I thought it was amazingly funny and sad at the same time.



I also found this, which is just freakin' cool. Do not go here if you don't like spiders of the big, hairy kind. You can feed it bugs!

http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/

Tomorrow: Something about orcs!

Cheers,
-Jason

Refreshed

I'm no longer pooped. Last week was rather hectic at work, with it being the final week of a Sprint. A Sprint is something like a Dash, but completely unlike a Meander.

Actually, a Sprint is a term used to denote a period of time in which things are supposed to be accomplished. I think. Anyway, the Sprint took up a lot of time and I worked late most of the week. That combined with the shouting match last Wednesday night at 2am left me more or less drained.

However, I am happy to say that I am now refreshed and ready to do it all over again! Hooray!

Leigh was equally busy last week. He drew many, many pictures that will someday grace Wayfarer's Moon. I have watched him do this and I find the whole process rather arcane. He draws eight lines and it's a face. I draw eight lines and its some sort of mutant goat. Now, mutant goats are cool, but I was also shooting for a face.

I guess there's something to be said for that whole 'art degree and a lifetime of practice.'

Anyhow, more updates as usual this week. On Friday, I will reveal the results of the voting for the new 'group term' for nerds.

Cheers,
-Jason

Mayhap Murder

I work in a large cube-farm with offices lining the walls. I am fortunate in that I am in one of the wall offices with a window. I am not so fortunate that I share it with two other people, one of whom smells.

No, honestly, he doesn’t smell. He does mutter a lot though and he covets my mouse pad. God help him if he touches my mouse pad! It has a picture of a kitten on it. With a machine gun. Hence the coveting.

Okay, I’ll stop there. They’re both really good guys and there’s no coveting or smelling or inappropriate touching or muttering or holding of one’s pets for ransom. It is, all in all, a harmonious arrangement. Baking, of all things, sometimes happens.

NOTE: I have no idea if they read these. Let’s hope for a ‘no.’

However, one thing that kinda bugs me is when I pass one of them in the hall. We normally do this at least two or three times as day, as we all having meetings and stabbings to attend. The first pass of the day, we usually say ‘hi.’ The second pass, we generally nod. If it happens a third time, there are embarrassed smiles.

The fourth time though, we have no idea what to do. We just kinda avert our eyes and pretend not to notice each other, even though one of us has obviously just taken the last donut from the kitchen. It’s downright awkward with extra ‘awk.’

We have literally run out of socially acceptable ways to acknowledge each other’s presence. I fear that one day, we may pass a fifth time. I have no idea what will happen. Fists may fly. Tears may be shed. One of us might well scream and throw ourselves out the nearest window. This isn’t quite as bad as it sounds, as we are on the first floor, but still.

It’s weird. I can literally work 10 hours within arm’s reach of them and not notice they’re there. It’s like we all have our own private nerd cocoons. Yet passing them in the hall could someday result in murder. Or at least, a spilled Diet 7-Up.

Cheers,
-Jason

Epicenter of Infidelity

So, apparently Joe is a bastard. I’m a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but Sue yelled this very loudly across the parking lot at about 2 am this morning. She yelled other things too, but it was mostly an incoherent mass of swear words and screaming, sort of one long vowel movement.

Joe, needless to say, yelled back. He did call her a ‘harlot,’ so he gets points for at least shouting imaginative insults.

Joe and Sue, as you can well imagine, are not happy with each other. They yelled for a good five minutes, which is about four hours in ‘I wish I could sleep’ years. They even woke up my cat, which hid under the bed. This is impressive. Only the great ‘Gimmie my money!’ argument of ’07 caused my cat to hide quite so quickly.

For whatever reason, it seems like the parking lot directly across from my bedroom window is the epicenter of infidelity.

NOTE: Try saying epicenter of infidelity three times fast

I honestly don’t know why, unless I have some sort of strange, reverse superpower that makes people get into fights in the middle of the night, sort of a Siren’s Song of Stupidity. Anyway, I’m dead tired and my cat is sleeping on my shoulder, which makes it really hard to type (or move, for that matter). It one thing to keep me up, but when you tire a cat out, that’s saying something.

Cheers,
-Jason

A Great Voice Silenced

Unfortunately, we've lost another one. Don LaFontaine passed away at the age of 68.

Who, you may ask? Well, he was the 'announcer voice' for over 5000 movie trailers and was recently featured in a Geico commercial. He pretty much defined the trailer as we know it today and was regarded as a legend in the industry.

I never met the man, but he seemed to be genuinely nice. Yet another small piece of our world gone.

A fun interview with him follows:



-Jason

Long Weekend

Well, it has been a long, busy week for us here at Wayfarer's Moon.

On Saturday, Leigh and I went minature golfing for a friend's birthday. This involved being outside and hitting a small ball repeatedly into windmills and other fanciful buildings. It was great fun, even though we have the combined dexterity of an aged, possibly ill sloth and being exposed to the sun hurts us.

We decided to not keep score, mainly because this was meant as a fun outing and if we had kept score, I would have been forced to engage Competetive Mode. This means I would have sweated every shot, cursing missed opportunities, and eventually plotting to kill everyone else as that would have been easier and more efficient. We also decided to not keep score because we quickly realised that the 10-year old girl in the group ahead of us would have easily beaten all of us.

Anyhow, there will be a regular update tomorrow and the usual blogs throughout the week.

Cheers,
-Jason