Pooping With My Cat

Yes, that is the title of this blog. ‘Pooping With My Cat.’ I almost went with ‘A Major Milestone,’ but that didn’t really convey what I needed. ‘Pooping With My Cat’ is not only descriptive, it’s slightly weird, which is perfect.

So, a bit of backstory: my cat’s litter box is in the bathroom. It has always been in the bathroom, in each of the five places we’ve lived. She has never, ever used her box when I was in the bathroom using mine (relatively speaking).

She would, in fact, dart out if I even came into the bathroom while she was ‘engaged’ so to speak. I accepted this and went about with my life. However, this last weekend, I was sitting on the pot going about my business when my cat walked in.

NOTE: I live alone and don’t close the door when I use the bathroom. This is so clowns can’t sneak up and leap at me when I open the door. I keep an axe handle by the shower for just such an occasion, btb.

She glanced at me and then proceeded into her box and began using it. I sat there, looking at her. She stood there, looking at me. She finished up and calmly walked out, presumably to go stare at the wall some more.

I’ve had my cat for fifteen years, this was the first time she has ever done this. More to the point, she continued to do it. I’m not bothered by this or anything, I just thought it was an interesting change in behavior. We’re almost like an old married couple: all the mystery is gone and we no longer have any pretenses.

In fact, my cat has become very nonchalant about this, which became a problem. You see, last night, as I was on the pot, my cat wandered in and did her business. She finished up and then looked at me. She then decided that since I was sitting down, that would be the perfect time to get some attention, so she jumped into my lap.

And mostly missed. Claws were deployed to prevent a fall. I screamed (in a manly sort of way), which startled her, so she did that ‘scramble to gain purchase and leap’ thing, which made me scream some more.

Needless to say, there was blood.

So now, I’m slightly paranoid about my cat doing that again. She hasn’t shared the bathroom again, so I might have scared her. I kind of hope so, as I would like my thighs to remain ‘intact’ more or less.

Cheers,
-Jason

Epicenter of Infidelity

So, apparently Joe is a bastard. I’m a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but Sue yelled this very loudly across the parking lot at about 2 am this morning. She yelled other things too, but it was mostly an incoherent mass of swear words and screaming, sort of one long vowel movement.

Joe, needless to say, yelled back. He did call her a ‘harlot,’ so he gets points for at least shouting imaginative insults.

Joe and Sue, as you can well imagine, are not happy with each other. They yelled for a good five minutes, which is about four hours in ‘I wish I could sleep’ years. They even woke up my cat, which hid under the bed. This is impressive. Only the great ‘Gimmie my money!’ argument of ’07 caused my cat to hide quite so quickly.

For whatever reason, it seems like the parking lot directly across from my bedroom window is the epicenter of infidelity.

NOTE: Try saying epicenter of infidelity three times fast

I honestly don’t know why, unless I have some sort of strange, reverse superpower that makes people get into fights in the middle of the night, sort of a Siren’s Song of Stupidity. Anyway, I’m dead tired and my cat is sleeping on my shoulder, which makes it really hard to type (or move, for that matter). It one thing to keep me up, but when you tire a cat out, that’s saying something.

Cheers,
-Jason

Let Me In

Here's another funny cat video:



Also, people have been asking when a new page will be up. The answer is . . . SOON!

We are working on the next page as I type and will get it up ASAP.

We apologize for the delays, but what with con season and losing our colorist, things have been hectic. We will be posting weekly and without warning for a while until we get things straightened out. Don't worry, though, we're not going anywhere.

Actually, I will be going to the store later today, but that's not quite the same thing. Leigh might also be going somewhere as well. I will definately be going to Tacoma on Saturday. I don't know what Leigh will be doing. Wayfarer's Moon, however, will be staying put and won't be going anywhere.

It can't, actually.

Well, the server could be moved. Does that count?

Anyway, Wayfarer's Moon will continue updating and hopefully we will get back to bi-weekly in a while.

Cheers,
-Jason

Cat Man Do

Here's a funny little video sent to me a while ago.



I just love how accurately the cat is animated.

Cheers,
-Jason

The Good, the Bad, and the Mortimer

There is a spider that lives in my bedroom. He is mostly found on the wall behind my computer. I have decided, for no readily apparent reason, to name him Mortimer (Mort is okay, but not Morty. He does not look like a Morty).

Mortimer is a rather quiet fellow. I rarely see him move, but when I come home, he is generally in a different spot (he favors the corner and directly above the calendar). I can therefore only assume that he is some sort of spider hero and that when I am gone, he goes off to have exciting, spider-related adventures.

I am rather pleased by this, as it means that at least someone in my apartment has a life.

You may be dubious about my claims that Mortimer is a spider hero, yet I have proof. Mortimer once intimidated my cat. Now, my cat is small, by cat standards, but at 6-odd pounds, she is a behemoth compared to Mortimer.

One day, I noticed my cat sniffing at the wall near the door. I looked over and found her nose to carapace with Mortimer. They eyed each other in a Sergione Leon-esque fashion for a moment and then my cat dashed under the bed.

I am not kidding.

I can only assume that Mortimer growled some sort of threat and that, combined with the glare of his eight steely eyes, was enough to send my cat fleeing in terror.

Mortimer is not here right now. I am forced to assume that he is off in some exotic locale, rescuing hot spider girls and beating the snot out of evil insects.

Well, at least one of us is having fun.

Cheers,
-Jason

The Manly Art of Cleaning: Part 2

As luck would have it, my vacuum does not pick up cat hair. It does not even move it. This means I need to rake my floor to get the cat hair. I am not kidding. I have a sponge mop with no sponge attached. I rake the floor with the edge to ball up the cat hair so I can pick it up.

After 30-odd minutes of raking, I had a bag of cat hair and had broken a sweat. Vacuuming at this point is sort of a ritual. There really is not much to pick up, so it is more about making the neat lines on the floor. A floor has not been cleaned unless there are lines.

Mmmmm, lines.

I should invent a kind of carpet that has lines built in. It would always look freshly vacuumed. Granted, it would probably have to be made with concrete, but that is a small price to pay for having a perfect floor.

So I managed to finish vacuuming. The floor was immaculate. Well, lacking any obvious toxic waste at least. I am sure that once my back is turned, my cat will immediately repopulate the area with hair. This is all part of the circle of life.

Tomorrow: The Bathroom

The Manly Art of Cleaning: Part 1

As those of you who read my blog with any regularity know, I am not fond of the act of cleaning. Cleanliness is good. Cleaning is boring and tedious, being sort of the Uwe Boll movie of chores.

So, much to my surprise, I decided to clean the apartment.

I started with vacuuming. As has been stated before, I hate vacuuming. I do not know why, other than it was one of my chores as a kid. Relatively speaking, vacuuming is easy. Or rather, it should be.

I own a cat. She is a tiny little ball of psychotic fur that does not like anyone but me. She also sheds. Constantly. All year long. It never stops. So, as you can imagine, there is a lot of cat hair everywhere.

Note: If you are allergic to cats, do not enter my apartment. You will die. Instantly. If you wish to kill someone who is allergic to cats, send them to visit me. My body removal fees are quite reasonable.

Tomorrow: Lines on the Floor