Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Everything I Need I Learned From WoW: Part 2

Life Lesson #2: Nature Hates You
Yep. Nature and everything in it hates you. All the bears, wolves, bunnies, squirrels, boars, deer, wombats, duck-billed platypuses, squid, lemmings, yaks, and the vultures, all of them hate you. Especially the vultures. Everything will attack you without remorse, generally in packs. They even attack Druids, who theoretically adore nature. Feel free to kill them, however they’re probably lower level than you and therefore aren’t worth it.

Life Lesson #3: Animals Are Larger on the Inside
As a corollary to #2, animals are much larger on the inside than they are on the outside (not unlike the Tardis). A tiny squirrel can swallow an entire battle-axe whole. I don’t know what is more amazing: the fact that a squirrel can apparently eat magical weapons whole and not die or the fact that they don’t ever seem to poop them out again. Where do they find these weapons, you may ask? Obviously from the bodies of adventurers they mauled (see Life Lesson #2).

Tomorrow: the Conclusion!


Anonymous said...

You didn't know that about squirrels already? They do hate you, and they understand the concept of throwing things, up to and including volley fire. There are a lot of people who have seen it with their own eyes, and let me tell you getting pounded by a half dozen small apples simultaneously hurts.

Jason Janicki said...

I hadn't heard that before and I grew up in a squirrel rich environment. Huh, guess I'll have to do some research . . .