Basically, orcs are just guys that haven’t been around women in a really, really long time. It’s not really their fault, they just reveling in the fact that no one’s making them use a coaster.
On the other hand, orc women could be so mean and nasty that the guys will do anything to get away from them, even if it means becoming cannon-fodder for whatever Lord of Evil happens to set-up shop nearby.
Orc Woman: Where are you going?
Orc Male: Uh, I heard Sauron was hiring an’ thought I’d go apply.
Orc Woman: You’re not just sneaking out to party with your idiot friends are you? ‘Cause the roof’s leaking, the shed burned down, junior needs to be changed, and my mother’s coming for an extended visit, so you need to build a second outhouse!
Orc Male: Uhhh, no. I was just gonna go sack Minas Tirith an’ fight some humans an’ stuff.
Orc Woman: Minas Tirith?
Orc Male: Yeah, that’s what I heard.
Orc Woman: Then bring me something nice! You’re always going off to war and leaving me here all by myself!
Orc Man: Yes, dear.
Orc Woman: Now get going! And apply yourself this time! Maybe you can finally make sergeant! Burta’s husband made sergeant last war and look how nice their shack is!
Orc Male: Yes, dear. Can I go now!
Orc Woman: Yes!
Cheers,
-Jason
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2 comments:
I can tell. You're not married, are you?
See, your 'evil woman' thing, maybe it's just trying to be PC. (Er, that'd be Politically Correct, not Player Character.) But I can quote real conversations *way* worse than that. You'd need to ramp it up a lot. The hormone thing alone, will make those orcs of yours run screaming. I can't imagine them being brave enough to handle something like child birth. ;-)
Woman orc: "*YOU* Did this to me!"
Man orc: "Goodbye, me maybe come back when head stop spinning backward."
Which might be why orcs are all socially inept anyhow, no father figures around... sibling rivalry, just bash over head.
Guilty as charged.
Yeah, I was trying to be nice :)
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