Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Complete List of EVIL: Part 3

So, I’ve gotten a few suggestions for the Complete List of EVIL, which I will now share with you. They have been added to the list in the slot I felt best represented their level of EVIL.

2. Political Pundits
Yes, they’re EVIL, but not really EVIL. They’re more like parasites, which though deserving of your loathing, are necessary in nature and stuff. No, I don’t really know what they’re necessary for, I was just making an analogy.

4. Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Now, I’m not really sure we can actually classify the Killer Rabbit as EVIL. It is (was) a killing machine, but so are sharks, weed whackers, and those spiny things that pounce on your head when you’re on the toilet. It might have been EVIL, but we really don’t know. All we do know is that it was capable of taking out a number of heavily armored knights and was inadequately protected against shrapnel.

10. Melkor
Yes, Melkor was ultimate EVIL in Middle Earth and was banished into the Void through the Door of Night. He was, in the words of a friend of mine, the ‘uber-douche.’

10. Really Good Web Comics That Don’t Update
Now, now, we can’t really call them EVIL. Sometimes (cough) people get sick or (throat clearing) lose their colorist. Now, if they didn’t update on purpose that would be EVIL, but for all we know, they're just on hiatus.

13. All Our Forum Contributors
Nah, they’re not EVIL, they’re just misunderstood. Really. Honestly, they’re a fine bunch of people and/or things with impeccable manners, spelling, and the highest standards of hygiene. I am specifically NOT saying this because they scare me. Nope, not at all. They’re all handsome and/or beautiful as well. Seriously.

Cheers,
-Jason

4 comments:

mountian dew man said...

well at number twenty i would have to say that belong's to all movie bad guys that want to take over the world and/or enslave it... or just destroys everything....

(example= DR.EVIL!!! ok maybe he is 18, but watever...)

Jason Janicki said...

Y'know, I've never understood the whole 'destroy the world' thing. Not only does the world hold all your stuff (with a nod to George Carlin), but you're on it too.

It seems rather . . . self-defeating.

vonbek said...

ah, but indeed, it is that un-understandable ill-logic you speak of that makes Mr. Destroy The World truly evil beyond all comprehensible evil!!

i mean, who but the most evil of evils would destroy the world and he/she/itself with it?

alright, perhaps politicians... you got me there... hey! i seem to be on a theme!

Jason Janicki said...

I dunno, somebody really stupid?

Does that count as its own kind of evil? :)