Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Complete List of EVIL: Part 2

6. General Woundwort
Remember how I said bunnies weren’t EVIL? Well, there’s always General Woundwort, the mean, nasty, authoritarian rabbit leader from Watership Down. A book, I may add, that both thrilled and terrified me as a young lad. General Woundwart was such a badass that he fought Bigwig to a standstill and was only defeated by a large dog. The rabbits never found his body though and in later years, does would tell their kittens to behave, lest the General come to take them away. Yeah, when you’re name is used to frighten children, you’re a badass.

7. The Child Catcher
Some of you may be old enough to remember Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. For those of you who aren’t, well this won’t make much sense. The Child Catcher was in charge of catching children (obviously). He was, as far as my five-years old self could tell, the epitome of EVIL. When a guy pulls up in a brightly colored cart, sings a song about candy, and then imprisons you when you try to get some, that’s pretty EVIL.

8. Clown-Brides
I originally suggested clowns as being EVIL, yet Beth argued that brides were just as EVIL. Brides as in: women about to get married (apparently, she’s has a wedding next weekend and is the Maid of Honor). I figured that if clowns were EVIL and brides were EVIL, then clown-brides had to be the most EVIL of all.

And if you don’t believe me that clowns are EVIL, fear of them is a medically recognized ailment: coulrophobia.

9. Sauron
The big bad himself, Sauron came ‘that close’ to conquering middle-earth and destroying the world of men. Twice. He’s so EVIL he doesn’t even need a body, though he could use a really big bottle of visine.

10. The Source of All EVIL
If you may recall, there was a film called Time Bandits, wherein the villain was the Source of All EVIL. He was pure, concentrated EVIL and was intent on remaking the universe in his own image. He was also intrigued by digital watches.

Tomorrow: Your additions to the list!


Rowadanr said...

But Sauron was but a servant to Melkor, most powerful of the Anuir, though he turned to darkness. Melkor was banished into the Void through the Door of Night, but it is said that on the day of Dagor Dagorath he will meet his destruction.
He cannot directly influence the world, but his will taints all living creatu... Oh, zark it all, you forgot Melkor (and the Cap, and Xy, and a few others).

Good list, anyway

Michael said...

11. Really good web comics that make you eagerly look forward to reading the next page . . . but then never update.

Anonymous said...

Evil rabbits? How could you have forgotten Bun Bun.....