Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The 1st Nerd Games: Part 1

I was talking to one of my buddies today about the Olympics. We talked about when we were younger, playing youth sports, and dreaming of being good enough to one day represent our country on the world stage.

Well, he was dreaming about that. I typically just hoped that my school would someday finish better than 1 and 11.

NOTE: We never did. Yes, we sucked hard.

NOTE: For the non sports-types out there, 1 and 11 means 'one win, eleven losses.' I had to ask my office mate to make sure I got it right.

It then occurred to me that we nerds, though sadly lacking in any physical or social ability, had many other amazing and useful skills. Granted, ‘useful’ is debatable, but since when has ‘javelin throwing’ been really necessary in day to day life?

In thinking about this, I decided that we nerds should have our own Olympics. It was then that the Nerd Games were born. Here is my proposed list of events for the 1st Games:

Cyber Lair Setup
This event has a team of nerds attempting to set-up a basement, er . . . Cyber Lair, with a predetermined list of objects, including:

3 computers with dedicated network
1 smelly futon
23 random action figures
1 mattress
4 random posters (must include 1 Star Wars poster)
1 mini-fridge
1000 comics
2 crates of Cheetos
1 case of Moutain Dew

The team to set-up the Lair in the shortest amount of time wins. Bonus points will be awarded for alphabetizing the comics and putting the action figures in suggestive poses.

Tomorrow: Part 2!


Anonymous said...

One of the posters would probably have to be a sexually suggestive pic of a fantasy/sci-fi/anime character as well. It wouldn't really be realistic otherwise.

Gillsing said...

1 out of 11 sounds like 1st place to me, unless it's a typo, and meant to be "11 out of 11".

matt said...

You forgot the most important part of the Cyber Lair Setup, the secret compartment hidden away in the walls that protect the nerd's porn stash.

Jason Janicki said...

Actually, I assumed that all of the posters, unless otherwise specified, would be of fantasy/sci-fi/anime girls in suggestive poses.

I actually meant 1 win and 11 losses. I am not a sports guy. Sorry!

Ooh, yeah! And the 10 gigs worth of porn on the harddrives!

Twiggle said...

Are the Cheetos and Mountain Dew supposed to be consumed during setup, or arranged in the room?

(and if they're consumed, do you gain or loose points for leaving orange fingerprints everywhere?)

Jason Janicki said...

Nope, they have to be set-up. Consuming them would result in lost points (temptation and all that).