Food to Avoid

The other day, whilst on my weekly errands (grocery shop, get gas, fight ninjas, eschew vegetables, etc), I noticed a large sign on the outside wall of the nearby gas station. It was one of those combo gas stations/convenience stores/mortuaries that are omnipresent nowadays.

Anyhow, the sign read ‘2 Corn Dogs for 99 cents!’ This gave me pause. Corn dogs, if you didn’t know, are basically the lowest rung of the ‘meat-in-a-tube’ family of foods. These are the hot dogs that weren’t considered palatable enough to sold individually, so someone shoved a stick in them and covered them in breading.

NOTE: I originally typed ‘shoved a stick in their bums,’ but realized that hot dogs do not have bums. This is probably for the best, as it would make eating them kinda weird.

So basically, the sign read ‘The cheapest possible meat-like product at a discount!’

I thought long and hard about this and after great debate decided that I, a person who once ate a piece of salami that fell on the carpet, would not purchase and consume these corn dogs. Frankly (heh), I’m not seventeen anymore. I can afford to buy food that is identifiable as having come from an animal.

Like my dad used to say: ‘If a deals too good to be true, then it- hey, no chainsaws in the house!’

Dad was easily distracted.

Cheers,
-Jason