Paris Soprano

The two big news items today seem to be that the Sopranos has ended and Paris Hilton is back in jail.

I am vaguely aware that Paris Hilton is famous for no reason other than being wealthy and drunk all the time. She had a TV show at one time, possibly also about being wealthy and drunk (I have no idea).

I watched the first season of the Sopranos and part of the second season. It was a soap-opera with boobs and violence. It was a good show, from what I remember. I just do not care much for mafia stuff. In fact, I have never even seen the Godfather. I am not kidding.

What do these things have in common? Nothing, save that they could be combined into the single greatest show ever made: Paris Soprano.

Think about it.

Paris Hilton takes control of a mafia family. She shakes down businesses. She brutalizes the competition. She has people whacked for wearing white after Labor Day. All the mobsters would be carrying around those little dogs and shopping for shoes. It would rock.

Mobster: Boss, Jimmy the Nose and Joey Cinderblock say they ain’t gonna pay.

Paris: Like, totally kill them!

Mobster: You got it, boss.

Paris: And get me an espresso!

So to any network executives out there: give me a call, we will talk.

Cheers,
-Jason