Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Some Questions Involving Superman: Part 2

This brings up another question: What happens when Superman sneezes? Sneezing is an involuntary muscle response and cannot be controlled. One good sneeze and Superman could take out a city block. Let us just hope he did not have hay fever as a boy, otherwise cows, barns, tractors, and various other farming implements would have been tossed around like so many rural missiles.

Clark: I finished the chores, pa. I . . . ah . . . achoo!

The cow in front of Clark is blown across the yard, through the barn, and lands with a wet thud 200 –yards away.

Pa Kent: Dammit, Clarke! Cover your mouth when you sneeze! That was the fifth cow this month!

I will not ask what would happen if Clark happened to accidently, oh say, fart, at the wrong time, such as in a crowded elevator. I have had a couple of embarrassing gas-related incidents in my life, but I also did not accidently blow a hole in the wall.

All that being said, it is a comic book. I am sure Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster did not really think about all this when they created the Man of Steel all those years ago, otherwise the tagline would have been:

Faster than a Speeding Bullet. Stronger than a Locomotive. Able to Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound. Can Destroy an Entire City Block with One Sneeze!



Anonymous said...

If you are so inclined, check out an essay by SF writer Larry Niven entitled "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex." It can be found out on the web... as well as most anything else.

Spider said...

There are some incidents in Smallville (a TV series depictating Clarke's adolescent years in his home town) in which he experiences said involuntary respiratory reflexes. I believe he sneezes a barn yard door off a ways in front of Lois Lane. I think there was some story made up of freak microburst weather...

Jason Janicki said...

That would probably be his greatest superpower: making up stuff to cover what just happened.

Hey, you burped and my car melted!

Uhhhh, solar flares!