Saturday, June 23, 2007

Evil Mastermind: A Career Choice: Part 2

The Lair is a very important place for an Evil Mastermind. It is not just a place where one plots, schemes, and goes the bathroom. It is a statement about who you are. A Lair says Hi, I am Evil and when I rule the world, this is where you will be sending all the money.

That being said, a Lair is perhaps the most important investment for an Evil Mastermind. Therefore, I have assembled some simple Dos and Do Nots:

Do: Lava
Lava is always in style. Not only is it a handy place for disposing of secret agents and incompetent henchmen, it also really cuts back on the heating bills. However, be sure to include adequate drainage in case a secret agent happens to reverse the flow or blows up the Lava Control Panel. Nothing is more embarrassing than getting killed by your own Lair.

Do Not: Skull-Shaped Mountain
While a classic, the Skull-Shaped Mountain is passé for the modern Evil Mastermind, if only for the fact that it screams EVIL IN PROGRESS HERE to anyone with Google Earth. Remember, you do not want them to know you are there until after you have taken over the world. If you must have one, put a big bow on it. This will confuse people into thinking your Lair is some sort of theme park.

Do: Pink
Pink is the new black leather with spikes. It shows you are an Evil Mastermind who is clearly comfortable with him or herself and is unafraid to break with tradition. It will also make some people not take you seriously, giving you additional time to perfect your pink disintegrator ray.

Tomorrow: Minions

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you ever heard of the Evil Planet game?

Here, take a look:
http://www.strategyplanet.com/evilgenius/TheGame/GameInfo.asp

Jason Janicki said...

Cool. I'll have to check this out.