I majored in English in college. This has prepared me for a life of jobs that have nothing to do with English. I can deconstruct an essay faster than a greased monkey with a hangnail, but unfortunately this is a rarely needed skill in the workforce of today. People do not come up to me and say:
All the tooltips need to be written by Tuesday and we have to review the mission briefings. Oh, I also need a critical comparison of Frankenstein and The Little Engine That Could ASAP.
It just does not happen.
However, as an English Major, I feel that I have a unique perspective on words and how they are used.
Take for example: Disgruntled.
It means not content. That is all well and good. However, how come we are never gruntled? Surely if you can be disgruntled, you can also be gruntled? My Websters New World Dictionary does not list a gruntled. However, my Compact Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary lists two definitions, neither of which is currently in use:
1. The snout of a pig.
2. A little grunt
This makes very little sense. I therefore propose that we begin using gruntled as a regular word. The next time someone asks how you are doing, say gruntled, and you? This will confuse and frighten them and thus you will achieve victory.
Cheers,
-Jason
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6 comments:
You can be overwhelmed, and underwhelmed, so why can't you just be whelmed?
Is not "Gruntled" past tense?
How would I express a current condition of contentment,
"Gruntel" perhaps?
We can't use "Grunt", because that is too much like a "Hurrump" or lazy "Burp". Although that can be a sign of contentment, it has to much of a redneck flavor and would be looked upon as lower-class and uneducated usage.
If our word is to gain respect and admiration, it should have a aspect of refinement. (As well as the hint of snobbishness that we have a larger vocabulary then they do.)
Antiphrasis - humorous or ironic use of a word or phrase in a sense opposite its usual meaning.
Would that mean protiphrasis is normal usage? Or could it be professional use of words and phrases? Or perhaps the original use of a given word/phrase, ala prototyping?
Analyzing words like this is fruitless.
The word prepare, what would it mean to pare something? And why does it need to be prepared? It's not unpare or depare, but you're unprepared for the correct usage of certain words.
Also the word nonchalant. Chalant is not even a word, nor is chalantly however you can do things nonchalantly or in a nonchalant way. Sadly English as a language doesn't make sense for most of the rules it sets for itself, and frankly I'm surprised to see and English major even bring this topic up.
(Even if I do understand that it's all in good fun)
Yes, the English language is quite a mess. And though I am an English major, most people aren't and haven't thought about the sillyness inherent in our language. And, as you point out, it's all in good fun :)
... and my personal favorite. Why do we drive on parkways, and park in driveways? English is FUBAR.
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