Monday, June 4, 2007

A Vicious, Unprovoked Attack

I am back. The milestone has passed and I will once again be regaling all three of you with my semi-coherent ramblings.

That being said, I hate to report this, but I was viciously attacked this Sunday. The perpetrator was a sausage.

As I have grown fond of saying, I am not kidding.

You see, a friend who will remain nameless (Mike) got married recently and gave me a gift basket for being in the wedding. Included in said gift basket was a package of sausage with the rather inauspicious name Cheesy Bavarian. So during the nice weather yesterday, I headed over to chez Leigh and we barbecued.

Now, we are not savvy barbequers. We understand that fire is involved and that food is placed in proximity to it. We accomplished this and then stood there, staring at the food. Below is an actual transcript of our conversation.

So, how long does it take?

Dunno.

How long has it been on?

30 seconds.

Is that enough?

Dunno. Maybe we should check Wikipedia?

Anyway, eventually, we actually ate the sausage. That is to say, pieces were put in our mouths and the sausage viciously attacked us. This was not a mild, wimpy sausage. It had cheese placed directly in it, like land mines. It was strong.

And it did not stop there. Once swallowed, it continued its unrelenting assault, as evidenced by the copious amounts of gas produced. Even now, as I write this, I am sure it is savagely mauling my arteries.

The sausage was not bad, in fact it was quite good. It was just . . . powerful. I ate a whole link. Leigh only ate half of his. This proves I am more manly than he, but probably not as bright.

Cheers,
-Jason

4 comments:

Leigh Kellogg said...

Hehe. You're probably feeling worse than I am today as well.

Rohwie said...

oooooohh sounds like it would have been a fine sausage, the kind of thing enjoyed, then followed up with a mild case of heart attack :)

love the latest comic, and the blog :D

Anonymous said...

Laura said...(dang I'm having problems logging in to blog)

After ONE bite my GI tract from my mouth all the way down to my anus cried out, "ARRETE VOUZ!". It was way too rich :P (and yes, my GI tract has a frenchy mind of its own)

Jason Janicki said...

Honestly, eating a whole link of that sausage should be a requirement for getting into the Navy Seals.

Do 100 push-ups, maggot, and then run 10-miles!

Sir, yes, sir!

Now eat this sausage!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!