Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tomorrow Is St. Fructus’ Day!

First off, if you’re a long-time reader of the blog, let me apologize for, well, the blog. Secondly, if you’re a long-time reader you might remember that way back in February, I proposed St. Fructus’ Day as a singles’ alternative to St. Valentine’s Day.

I declared that next August 13th (tomorrow) would be the first celebration of St. Fructus’ Day. And a grand St. Fructus’ Day we shall have!

This begs the question: What does one do on St. Fructus’ Day?

Well, here is the list of traditions that I just made up:
1. Say ‘Happy St. Fructus’ Day’ to people.
2. Explain what St. Fructus’ Day is to the aforementioned people.
3. If you’re single, tell your married friends (or those in a relationship) that they have to give you candy as part of the traditional St. Fructus’ Day Celebration.
a. Eat said candy
4. Watch a St. Fructus’ Day Parade on television.
a. If you manage to locate a parade, please let me know.
5. Wear something . . . I dunno . . .blue, as blue is now the official color of St. Fructus’ Day.
6. Punch a ninja.
7. Vote for Wayfarer’s Moon, as Wayfarer’s Moon is the official comic of St. Fructus’ Day.
a. If you’ve already voted today, spend some time in the archives or in the forum
8. Pet an animal.
a. Preferably, one that is tame
b. Bonus points if you happen to punch a ninja at the same time as you pet an animal
c. Double bonus points if you get the animal to bite the ninja

Okay, I’m out of traditions. If you can think of one that you think should be added to the body of lore concerning St. Fructus’ Day, please let me know. Triple bonus points if it concerns harming a ninja.

And have a fantastic St. Fructus’ Day!

Cheers,
-Jason

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tame a wild Ninja (and then pet it)

Twiggle said...

How does one pronounce the name "Fructus?" Is it:
frook-tus (rhymes with either spooked us or cooked us)?
frook-toos?
fruck-tus?
Some other way?
I want to be sure I'm saying it correctly.

Also I propose that the official food of St. Fructus' Day be muffins. No particular reason except that they're yummy, come in many flavors, and are easy to share with friends.

TX_Val said...

I find myself pronouncing it Fruck-tus. Like Truck us or truck-tus.

Woo Anonymous went for the high score with the taming a wild ninja, then petting it. All of a sudden I see this entire conversation as a scene in a stoner movie.

From the holiday to the taming of wild ninja's to pet.

I'm not so sure about the muffins though. It should probably be a prepackaged food, since it's about singles and such. I know you can buy packaged muffins... That or something for delivery .. like pizza or something. We could give buckets of fried chicken, for humor value.

Hmmm Suppose we need to have a meeting of the bored nerds and vote on a food, unless Jason wants to throw out the official food, since it's kind of his holiday.

MOO

Jerron said...

Well, I'm taking the kids out on the boat. So I propose throwing muffins at children and ninjas as a competition sport on the holiday. From a moving boat, of course. Any children hit are 10 points. Children on land are worth double. Ninjas hit are 100 points, and ninjas in the water are double. (Because they don't swim, silly.) So any water skiing ninja hit with a muffin on St. Fructus' day automatically has to have a shout of "Huzzah!" or something similarly appropriate, or you don' get the 200 points.

(And if you're throwing them at my kids, use the chocolate chip ones. Them catching it counts as a hit.)

Jason Janicki said...

Oooh, good one, Anonymous!

Very well, Twiggle. Muffins are now the official food of St. Fructus Day!

And I have no idea how to pronounce 'Fructus.' I would agree with TX_Val that it's pronounced like 'truck-tus' only with a 'fr' at the front.

Good points, TX_Val. Okay, muffins are now the official 'pastry' of St. Fructus' Day. Pizza is the official 'take-out' food.

Also good stuff, Jerron. However, if you hit a water-skiing ninjas with a chocolate-chip muffin and knock him over, you get double double points, for 400! And double that if the ninja is subsequently eaten by a shark.