Tuesday, February 10, 2009

You've Got the Tools to Fix This

What happened to Chester Cheetah?

If you don’t know, Chester Cheetah was the loveable (well, semi-loveable) animated mascot for Cheetos. He engaged in a variety of wacky hi-jinks in pursuit of Cheetos, much the same way that Lucky hoarded his Lucky Charms, Sonny was coo-coo for Coco-Puffs, and the guy from Scarface was crazy for cocaine.

NOTE: Tony Montana REALLY loved his cocaine. And his ‘little friend.’

NOTE: His ‘little friend’ was a machine gun. He may have been over-compensating.

This is a commercial featuring Chester from 1991:


Compare that to one of the latest Cheeto’s commercials:


Sure, Chester’s pretty harmless. He’s just encouraging a bit of tomfoolery, but what happens next? What happens when a Cheeto up the nose isn’t enough? Will they start finding bodies with crusty orange handprints on their necks or meat cleavers with their blades embedded in skulls and handles covered in delicious, orange powder?

All I’m saying is that the Son of Sam said his dog told me to do it. Let’s just pray Chester doesn’t snap, otherwise, orange death in a snack-food format.

Cheers,
-Jason

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hadn't seen that one yet. You're right, these are messed up. That one is like a horror film, with a little prelude into a bad porno. The way he's rubbing on that Flight attendant.

The first one I had seen was this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgoDcCQZzIg

Where he says, "Poppa chester is proud," I was floored. Seemed creepy/perverted.
That may just be the way I took it though, kind of having a strange sense of humor myself. I get the feeling you'll understand.

Jason Janicki said...

They're amusing commercials, but it's really easy to imagine him saying 'Just kill them. Kill them all!' or 'You're got a knife, use it.'

I totally do :)

Unknown said...

Chester is livin' large in my part of the world. And I think you're right. Check out how he's trying to light the jalepeno like a little bomb. Its only a matter of time before he figures it out, and we'll have no one to blame but ourselves. Someone stop him!

http://www1.parknshop.com/WebShop/BrowseProduct.do?service=direct&service=1&service=listProductToGenerate.$DirectLink$2&sp=l301577

Jason Janicki said...

It's a sad day when cartoon characters go feral . . .