Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Spear For You, Sir

A good friend of mine sent me the following tidbit today:

Picture this: Elton John, Jane Austen and a space predator!

Trend alert! First there was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Now comes news that Elton John's Rocket Pictures has set Will Clark to direct Pride and Predator, which mixes Jane Austen-period costume drama with an alien crash landing.

According to Variety, the alien will butcher the mannered protagonists, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about.

Shooting will begin in London later this year. John, executive-producer, and his Rocket partners Steve Hamilton Shaw and David Furnish are producing.

Clark, who directed the award-winning short The Amazing Trousers, wrote the script with Andrew Kemble and John Pape.

John will supervise the music, as he does in each Rocket-produced film.


Yes, you read that correctly. A Predator film set in Victorian England. Anyone who read a Jane Austin novel in college will appreciate the subtle, deliciousness of it all.

The Scene: A garden party at the Featherton von Bueller-Frankenstein estate, where a party celebrating the young master’s return from London is taking place.

“I say, Cecil! A smashing party!”

“I couldn’t agree more, Cedric. Why every eligible young lady from here to Northampton is in attendance.”

“Yes. Mayhap we should speak to one of them?”

“Are you daft? One does not simple ‘speak’ to the fairest flowers in the land. One simply enjoys their company.”

“Errr, yes, I suppose so. Still, I mean, we’re . . . ummm, Cecil?”


“Who’s that rather tall, armored fellow at the door?”

“The one with the spear?”

“Yes. Do we know him?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“Hmm, and yet he just ran your butler through the body.”’

“He did? Curses! Now I shall have to procure a new one!”

“And he just bludgeoned your auntie with her yorkie.”

“I say!”

“Oh, look. Basil’s gone to have a word with him.”

“Excellent! Basil played rugby at Oxford. He’ll straighten him out!”

“Save that somehow Basil’s head has just disintegrated.”

“Without an introduction? How rude!”

“Quite! Say, did you have three small red dots on your forehead before?”

“I don’t belie-“

“Cecil, I believe you’re bleeding on me. Cecil? Oh bugger.”



Jerron said...

*That* is hilarious. Too bad we all know the script won't even be close.

Maybe you could send Elton a suggestion?

Jason Janicki said...

Thanks :)

Huh, I'll have to see if I can find an email . . .