Bring ‘Em Back!: Part 3

So, we have one (1) evil guy trying to bring back one (1) Evil Entity. We have fifty-plus (50+) heroes being resurrected, outfitted, and promised that they can go back to Paradise afterwards. We also have three (3) mangos and eleven percent (11%) of the world’s supply of clown makeup (WSCM).

Note: It’s really not worth asking about. Really.

All of this leads to the following exchange.

“My most evil master,” asked the servant, clad in red and green.

“If this is not good,” said the sorcerer, as he carefully weighed the two mangos in his hands. “You will be eviscerated.”

“Good is . . . er . . . relevant, my dark lord,” said the servant, with a slight hesitation. His master raised an eyebrow. “It’s Harg the Magnificent, my lord.”

“The one who vanquished our yet-to-be-reborn Dark God?”

“Yes, lord. They resurrected him.”

“Really?’ The sorcerer smiled. “Well, that was rather forward thinking of them.” He put the two mangos down next to a third. “Nevertheless, with our help, our Lord of Evil will prevail.”

“That’s not all, lord.” The servant cleared his throat. “They also resurrected Talia of Gorth, Lord Ravenstone, the Axe Twins, the Blue Wizard, all twelve of the Dwarven Nutcracker Brigade, and a few others.”

The sorcerer frowned. “How many others?”

“Well, they’ve emptied the royal crypt and all the surrounding mausoleums, so about one hundred and fourteen total. Including Uroll the Castler.”

“Uroll the Castler?”

“Yes, lord. He was the one that killed the dragon by hitting it with a castle.”

“Oh.” The sorcerer steepled his fingers, his eyes closing to mere slits. “If we were to start now, how many evil heroes could we bring back?”

“Two. One of whom is Var the Haberdasher.” There was another raised eyebrow. “He made evil hats,” the servant said with a shrug.

“Andy why so few?”

“We evil types tend to get thrown into lava or crushed under mountains. Not a lot left to resurrect.”

“Ah. So, including myself, three versus . . .”

“One hundred fourteen and they’re still looking.”

“Hmmmm.” The sorcerer fiddled with his mangos, idly rolling them about the table. “I think a change of strategy is in order. The new future of evil is in . . . “ He paused. “What did that ‘Var’ do again?”

“He made hats.”

“Yes, hats. We cannot summon our Dark Lord without proper headgear. We must bend our intellect to the making of hats.”

“So the heroes won’t hit us with castles?”

“Exactly. Begin the preparations to move.” He whirled on the servant, his robes spinning about him. “And don’t forget my mangos!”

Cheers,
-Jason

Bring 'Em Back: Part 2

There is that one small problem: the hero(es) may not want to come back. They might have been perfectly happy in the afterlife being served drinks by nubile maidens with loose or indifferent morals (or muscular men with standard guy morals, for that matter). They might not want to face unspeakable horrors (again).

All you really need to do is point out that a) they’re heroes and are morally obligated to help and b) they can always die again. It’s not like the nubile maidens and muscular men aren’t going to be there when they get back.

There is one other problem: the hero(es) might have just barely defeated the villain the last time. They happened to have the One True Wingnut or the Frame Repair Kit of the Gods and that was all that stood between the villain and the end of the world.

There is a solution to that, as well. Resurrect ALL the heroes you can think of. Seriously. They’re probably not hard to find, as they’re likely buried in the royal vaults or some other easily accessible place.

After all, if one hero is good, eighty-seven is even better. Just dust off the guest wing and bring ‘em back.

Tomorrow: the Conclusion

Bring 'Em Back: Part 1

Have you ever noticed that in popular media, bad guys keep getting resurrected? Think about it. If there was a psychotic, mass-murdering despot in the past thousand or so years, some idiot is trying to resurrect, reanimate, or reincarnate said murderous bastard. Hell, that’s the plot of at least twenty movies and a whole bunch of novels.

There’s always an exchange like:

“My god, they’re bringing him back!”
“Algos the Unstoppable? They wouldn’t dare!”
“Oh, they dared! They totally dared!”
“Well, we’re screwed. Starbucks run?”
“Absolutely!”

NOTE: They generally don’t have Starbucks references. It just felt right.

Basically, a nigh-unstoppable killing machine/evil wizard/dark god is being brought back and the heroes are questing all over the place to get all ten of the McNuggets of Ultimate Truth, ignoring the obvious solution.

What’s the obvious solution? Well, the nigh-unstoppable baddy was obviously stopped by somebody, presumably a hero or heroes. Just resurrect them and have ‘em do it again.

Tomorrow: Part 2

Nox

Hey all!

It's another Tuesday, so that means two things: a new page and toe-nail fungus prevention night! Err . . . a new page and a video link!

NOTE: Just be glad it wasn't Wednesday.

As a change of pace tonight, I'm pleased to put up a link to Shon C. Bury's Nox! We've been talking to Shon for a while now and he's a very cool guy, so we thought we would give him some props and put a link to his excellent comic. So check it out!

Also, I have a trailer for a very strange movie coming out in March: Big Man Japan. A mere description does not do it justice, so see for yourselves:



Part of me really, really wants to see this. Part of me is horrified. Part of me wants an ice-cream cone. A very, very small part of me wants to shoot a nerf gun at a cardboard cut-out of three doves with machetes.

Well, I did say a very, very small part.

Cheers,
-Jason

I Have No Clue

why Buzzcomics is down. Personally, I like to think it's due to the fact that so many people voted for us they crashed the server.

At least, I hope that's what caused it. Either that or someone saw my plea for more votes and decided to crash the server out of malice. It's always possible.

And thanks to everyone who let me know they were down! I appreciate you all trying to vote for us!

Well, we are chugging along. Issue #6 has just started and is generating a lot of discussion on the forums (http://wayfarersmoon.com/phpBB2/, if you haven't already been there)! Shaw and Lily have obviously survived, though one of them might not for very much longer . . .

Anyhow, look for a new page on Tuesday and the usual blogging throughout the rest of the week.

Cheers,
-Jason

Buzzcomix appears to be down.

Thanks to everyone who'e let us know that there is a problem with our Buzzcomix vote button. It looks like the Buzzcomix site is down and this is causing the problem. This has happened to them before and hopefully they will be up and running again soon. In the mean time you can still vote for us using the TWC button! :)

Thanks! We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogs from Jason. ;)

-Leigh

Would You Like to Reboot?

I made a mistake today. I was in the middle of putting a level together. My hands were sweaty, almost shaking, as I cautiously maneuvered a toilet into position. I placed it and then grabbed a sink. That was placed near the toilet (but not too near!) and I went for the toilet paper holder. Yes, I was building yet another bathroom and I was in a groove. This would be the single greatest bathroom ever.

And then it happened.

A box appeared in the middle of my screen. I didn’t want to be distracted, so I absently clicked on it to get it out of the way (which was the mistake. It minimized and I went back to the difficult and demanding task before me: placing a light switch just so. I placed a few more items, the intensity of my stare almost melting the monitor in front of me.

All of a sudden a message appeared: ‘The updates have been successfully installed. Your machine must reboot for the updates to take effect. Reboot now? Reboot later?’

I, of course, clicked on ‘Reboot later.’ Nothing would deter me from finding the exact ducky texture needed to finish the bathroom.

Two minutes later: Reboot Now? Reboot Later?

‘Catnuts!’ I half-shouted, scaring my office-mates. Reboot Later was pressed again. Two minutes later, the same thing.

I was stuck. I had to reboot the damn machine to get rid of the message.

Why does that message have to appear so frequently? ‘Reboot Later’ shouldn’t mean ‘Pester me until I reboot,’ it should mean ‘I’ll reboot when I’m ready to reboot.’ Bathrooms won’t build themselves after all and who wants an interruption when they’re in the middle of working? It’s even worse when it’s in the middle of gaming and just as some orc is trying to floss his teeth on your hamstring, that message pops up. By the time you get it off your screen, said orc has already worked his way up to your knees.

A major problem? No, but an ‘aaaagh!’ moment nonetheless.

Cheers,
-Jason

Lord Who?

This weekend I was playing a casual RPG, which will remain nameless. I do play a lot of casual games and am occasionally pleasantly surprised. Granted, I am appallingly horrified on occasion as well, so it probably all works out.

NOTE: Speaking of horror, I also like to rent independent and little-known horror films. Most of the time, I am completely bored and/or appalled. Once in a great while, I catch a good one. If you like horror, check out Gingersnaps and Gingersnaps II. They’re completely different kinds of films, but both are excellent.

Anyway, the RPG I was playing had almost no story to it, save that apparently there were four pieces of a sacred flatware set I had to find. There was a sacred fork, a sacred knife, a sacred spoon, and a non-sacred, but apparently necessary ladle as well. Yes, I know a ladle isn’t flatware (I looked it up), but there you go.

After about four hours, I secured all the pieces of flatware and the ladle and was expecting the game to end. After all, no other over all quests had been presented and I had no actual use for the flatware. Sure, my stats were buffed, but I was already creaming everything anyway. Then, all of a sudden, it was announced that Duke Kixxfer-something was attacking and I had to go defeat him. I assume this had something to do with the flatware (maybe he was having a dinner party?)

I went to go chat with what’s-his-name and he promptly attacked me. Honestly, I just wanted to talk, maybe ask him what was up and why these guys wanted him dead. I ended up kicking his butt and the game ended with a splash screen that said ‘You are victorious!’

My question was: over what or whom? There was no story behind the flatware and I had never heard of Duke so-and-so before I was told to go kill him. It was as if Elrond had shoved Frodo out the door with a map and the Ring and said ‘Go where the ‘x’ is and drop it in’ and then slammed the gates of Rivendell shut. And then, for no reason, Sauron showed up and Frodo kacked him.

So, here’s a bit of advice to the makers of casual RPGs from me: Please tell me why I’m doing these things. Just a quick note, something like: ‘Hey, there’s this evil guy who wants this stuff and you have to get it and then kill him.’ That would cover all the bases and let me know what was going on.

Also: avoid overly long and cumbersome names. I honestly have no idea what Duke Kixxfer-something’s name actually was. All I can recall is that there was an ‘F’ and a bunch of ‘X’s. Think simple and short. ‘Bob’ works well.

In lieu of this information, I ended up sympathizing with Duke Kixxfer-something more that the people I was working for. I imagine he was just minding his own business when an armored, flat-ware equipped, ladle-waving maniac (me) appeared and caved in his head without so much as an introduction. For all I know, he was looking for his lost dog or delivering toys to orphans.

Oh well, at least I have the flatware.

Cheers,
-Jason

Corky and the Juice Pigs

This was sent to me by my friend Laura. It's a comedy band called Corky and the Juice Pigs I hadn't heard of before who do a pretty spot-on spoof of REM, along with a 50's-ish ballad.

It's quite funny, though the sound quality isn't the best. There are a few other versions of this up on YouTube, but none of them seemed to have the band in them (which really helps sell the video). Turn it up and listen close :)

Enjoy!


Cheers,
-Jason

Whoot

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has been voting for us. We have climbed 10 places on both lists, so we're currently at 26 on Buzz Comics and 56 on Top Web. Thanks guys!

Secondly, please keep voting! The more votes, the higher we get and the more visible our comic gets! So if you haven't been voting, at least click on the Buzz Comics link. It'll take you to a new page and you just have press the big 'VOTE' button at the top. That's it.

So when you come to page to either catch up on the latest page or read one of the blogs, just click on the Buzz Comics vote button when you're done. It's easy, fast, and it cures nasal warts.

NOTE: I have not had nasal warts since I began voting for the comic. Therefore, I must assume that voting somehow prevents/cures them. Granted, there are thousands of conditions I don't have or haven't gotten, but I'm pretty sure about the nasal warts thing.

Tune in on Tuesday for a new page and the rest of the week for the usual blogging goodness.

And vote! Pretty please!

Cheers,
-Jason

Plane Saved, Birds Under Suspicion

If you haven’t heard, a US Airways jet was forced to make a crash landing into the Hudson River today, because a bird flew into one of the engines. The pilot, Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger, III, pulled off an amazing landing and all 155 passengers were able to walk away without serious injury.

I would like to join with the rest of the country in saying ‘wow’ and applauding Chelsey for his amazing feat.

However, there is a larger story here that the mainstream media seems reluctant to address: Why did the birds want to take out that flight? Why did they feel it necessary to sacrifice one of their own to ensure that it went down?

We have lived in relatively harmony with the birds for thousands of years, with only the rare attack on their part. They seemed content to fly around and occasionally be eaten. Why now and why this flight?

Was there someone on the plane they needed desperately to take out? Perhaps a descendent of Colonel Sanders? Was there something on the plane that they could not allow to reach its destination? Mayhap some sort of anti-avian weapon? We may never know.

I propose that the government put together a crack team of investigators to delve into this mystery. The team will comprise myself, a scientist (female, former model), a pilot (female, former model), and a computer expert (female, former model). I’m sure that within four or five years, we may be able to begin to actually figure something out, besides the fact that the other members of the team probably won’t have anything to do with me.

Cheers,
-Jason

Pooping With My Cat

Yes, that is the title of this blog. ‘Pooping With My Cat.’ I almost went with ‘A Major Milestone,’ but that didn’t really convey what I needed. ‘Pooping With My Cat’ is not only descriptive, it’s slightly weird, which is perfect.

So, a bit of backstory: my cat’s litter box is in the bathroom. It has always been in the bathroom, in each of the five places we’ve lived. She has never, ever used her box when I was in the bathroom using mine (relatively speaking).

She would, in fact, dart out if I even came into the bathroom while she was ‘engaged’ so to speak. I accepted this and went about with my life. However, this last weekend, I was sitting on the pot going about my business when my cat walked in.

NOTE: I live alone and don’t close the door when I use the bathroom. This is so clowns can’t sneak up and leap at me when I open the door. I keep an axe handle by the shower for just such an occasion, btb.

She glanced at me and then proceeded into her box and began using it. I sat there, looking at her. She stood there, looking at me. She finished up and calmly walked out, presumably to go stare at the wall some more.

I’ve had my cat for fifteen years, this was the first time she has ever done this. More to the point, she continued to do it. I’m not bothered by this or anything, I just thought it was an interesting change in behavior. We’re almost like an old married couple: all the mystery is gone and we no longer have any pretenses.

In fact, my cat has become very nonchalant about this, which became a problem. You see, last night, as I was on the pot, my cat wandered in and did her business. She finished up and then looked at me. She then decided that since I was sitting down, that would be the perfect time to get some attention, so she jumped into my lap.

And mostly missed. Claws were deployed to prevent a fall. I screamed (in a manly sort of way), which startled her, so she did that ‘scramble to gain purchase and leap’ thing, which made me scream some more.

Needless to say, there was blood.

So now, I’m slightly paranoid about my cat doing that again. She hasn’t shared the bathroom again, so I might have scared her. I kind of hope so, as I would like my thighs to remain ‘intact’ more or less.

Cheers,
-Jason

Car Alarms

Last night, at about 2AM, after slipping (for once) into a comfortable sleep, I was awakened by the wailing of a neighbor's car alarm. It was one of those that goes ‘whoop-whooop-whooop, eeeeeoooooeeeeeooooo, whiiiiiiip whiiiiiiip’ until turned off.

I briefly considered going on a highly selective killing spree, but decided not to. After all, my ‘spree’ pants were still at the cleaners. However, I did realize that car alarms are incredibly pointless.

Think about it. When last you heard a car alarm, what was your reaction? Did you bolt upright from a sound slumber and shout “Egad! Some miscreant seeks to abscond with my neighbor’s motor carriage! I must fetch my boots and blunderbuss and sally forth to prevent this most heinous of crimes!”

Or did you lay there, thinking “Please stop, please stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop, I have a presentation tomorrow stop please stop I need my rest stop stop stop stop stop I’m going to kill someone stop stop stop my eyebrows hurt oh please, for the love of god, STOP!”

Yep, your reaction wasn’t to help save your neighbor’s property, but to try to stop a car alarm with your mind. Why? Because we’ve all heard car alarms hundreds of times and in all probability, none of them were actually being stolen.

In fact, I’m willing to bet that most competent car thieves know how the alarms work and can disable them in a ludicrously short amount of time. They probably have competitions to see who can disable them the fastest, complete with sponsors and commercial endorsements.

Is banning the alarms the answer? I have no clue, I just don’t want to get woken up at 2AM by ‘whoop-whooop-whooop, eeeeeoooooeeeeeooooo, whiiiiiiip whiiiiiiip’ every other week because an errant leaf fell on my neighbor’s hood.

Cheers,
-Jason

9

I came across this the other day and was pretty much blown away. It's Tim Burton's 9.



I really love something about the way the characters look and the familiar, yet bizarre world they inhabit. Personalble creatures, battling overwhelming evil, it never ceases to grab my attention.

This is the original short the movie is based on. It's obviously a bit different, but it's a truly stunning piece of animation.

9 Nine Shane Acker Short Animation
Uploaded by FrFKmeron

I honestly can't wait for '9' to come out.

Cheers,
-Jason

Issue #6

Well, another week has gone by and you may have noticed that last week's page was the end of Issue #5! This means that Tuesday's page will be the cover for #6!

Will Iri make it? Will Roun make it? Will Shaw make it? Hell, will anyone make it? I'm not going to tell you. This is part of a devious plot to keep you coming back and improving our hit count.

Speaking of which, there are two little buttons I'd like to point out above the ad banner on the right. These are voting buttons for Buzz Comics and Top Web Comics respectively. If you could take a moment out of your day and vote for us on one or both of the sites, we would greatly appreciate it. We're currently at 36 on Buzz Comics and 66 on Top Web and we'd love to be lower, say at #1.

So, if you can, please vote for us (everyday if possible). It would make us very happy and when Leigh's happy, he draws faster (maybe).

Look for the start of Issue #6 of Tuesday and the usual blogs the rest of the week.

Cheers,
-Jason

Top 10-ish: Part 3

#3 Sinead O’Connor’s Silent Night
I have no idea when this was recorded, but I first heard it after being (more or less) forced to watch Fred Claus at my brother’s house. I’m not a huge Sinead O’Connor fan, but this is pretty much the most amazing version of Silent Night I have ever heard.



#2 The Wrath of the Lich King
In the words of that guy from the gangster movie: ‘They keep pullin’ me back!’ WotLK is an excellent expansion to the Warcraft universe. They learned a few things after the Burning Crusade and made a really, really, destroy-my-life fun expansion. It's so much fun, that I've actually started doing Daily's (dailies?) with my 80 Hunter, and this is from someone who refused to do them in BC and refuses to grind faction in any way.

#1 Our Fans (awwwww)
No, seriously. I’m not just sucking up because you read this far. Wayfarer’s Moon would be nothing without you all. Well, we would be something, but it would be ‘not much.’ You guys read the comic and the blogs, vote for us (I hope) and some of you even post on our forums (which are filled with intelligent and good-looking people, I should add). A few brave souls have even met us at cons (again, we apologize for the hygiene 'difficulties').

Thanks to you, our fans, for making Wayfarer’s Moon what it is today.

Cheers,
-Jason

Top 10-ish: Part 2

As several Alert Readers have pointed out (where ‘several’ is less than 2), my mom was probably not born in 2008. This is true. I will not say what year she was born in, but she’s 29 now. Several of you may realize that I was thus born about ten years before she was, but math was never my strong suit.

#6 Sony
In this time of rising unemployment, I’m damned thankful I not only have a job, but get to do something I love.

#5 The End of the Political Season
Like many Americans, I was becoming increasingly tired of the 2008 Presidential Election. I had gotten to the point where I would have happily voted for a lisping penguin if he had promised to shoot anyone who made a commercial that contained a gently waving flag. Unless, of course, the commercial was for an actual flag company, which would have been all right. Politics aside, voting aside, I’m just so glad I don’t have to see another political commercial or get another recorded message on my answering machine for about another four years.

Though, given the early start of the last election, I half expect them to start now for 2012.

#4 That Guy
We had a very harsh snowfall a couple weeks ago, which pretty much shut the Puget Sound area down. Midwesterners may laugh at our paltry 1-2 feet of snow, but it might as well have been Godzilla. We were completely immobile.

I ended up taking a couple walks through the snow to the local grocery store, as I didn’t dare drive my truck on the ice. One day, I was trudging along with a couple bags full of groceries and a car pulled up next to me.

“Hey,” said the guy, “you need a ride?”

“No,” I replied. “I only have about a hundred yards left, but thanks.”

“No problem,” he said. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” I called back, as he pulled away.

So, thanks, nameless guy in a green Forester, for offering a ride to a complete stranger. Granted, it would have been a touch nicer if you’d have been a super model, but I won’t complain.

Tomorrow: The Conclusion

Top 10-ish: Part 1

Well, it’s 2009 and one of the most cherished of the New Year traditions is appearing all over the place: The Top Ten List.

These lists are generally very genre specific, with Top Ten Video Games, Top Ten Albums, Top Ten Walrus Stabbings, Top Ten Things I Found In My Shoe (hint: only nine of them are toes), and that perennial favorite: The Top Ten Top Ten Lists.

So, in an effort to be topical and not at all out of laziness, I have decided to do my own Top Ten List of 2008. Well, actually, it’s going to be ten-ish, as I’m not terribly bright.

And thus, without further ado, here’s Part 1 of my Top Ten-ish List of 2008!

#9 Iron Man
Robert Downey Junior rocked as playboy and fledgling alcoholic Tony Stark. He was perfectly cast and created an engaging and believable character. He even managed to create a charming relationship with a robotic fire-extinguisher, something even Sir Laurence Olivier never pulled off (though I doubt he ever tried).

#8 Left 4 Dead
Zombies! Lots of zombies! Valve pulled off not only an amazing co-op game, but created a truly creepy atmosphere and gave you the experience of being in your favorite zombie movie. My only gripe: No shopping mall level.

#7 My Mom
My mom is great. She has, since I was 12, given me a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar for Christmas. I have never, ever wondered what day it was. Unless, of course, I wasn’t in my bedroom, in which case I was completely clueless. Granted, she may stop, seeing as how I only put her at #7. Love you, Mom! :)

Monsters Versus Aliens

Monsters Versus Aliens is one of the few movies that I'm really excited about coming out. I do love animation (and monsters and aliens), so this is right up my alley.

Here are the two official trailers!

Here's the first one:


And here's the second one:


Cheers,
-Jason

We're Back!

Well, we survived yet another Christmas.

I flew down to Cali to be with the family and though there were concerns about the snow and the airport, I made it out with no problems.

Presents were opened. Too much food was consumed. I teased my siblings mercilessly and did my utmost best to fill their children's heads with absolute nonsense (more on that later).

Look for a new page on Tuesday and the usual blogging silliness during the rest of the week.

Now if I can just figure out where the ninjas got to . . .

Cheers,
-Jason