Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Save vs Rock

Gall Stone (aka: Gut Demon)
Tiny Aberration
Hit Dice: 1hp or 28d6+4 (leader)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 1
Base Attack: +0/+0
Attack: unarmed +0 melee
Full Attack: nil
Special Attack: pain/nausea
Special Qualities: only attacks at night
Environment: your gall bladder
Alignment: chaotic vicious

The Gall Stone or Gut Demon is a tiny, possibly fanged and/or spiked rock that takes up residence in your gall bladder. It generally attacks only at night after eating a large Meat Lovers pizza and a liter of Coke. It has no known weaknesses and can only be defeated by either a Cure Intestinal Pain spell or simply waiting it out.

The Gut Demon attacks your Gall Bladder, causing just enough pain to keep you awake. One in ten Gall Stones is a leader-type, who causes severe pain and nausea. Leader-type Gall Stones have been said to cause pain equivalent to childbirth, though this is doubtful, as you do not have to later change the Stones diaper or put it through college.

Gall Stones as Characters:
The Gall Stone has no application as a playable race unless the adventure is inside a gall bladder. If it is, you are weird.

So, if you have not guessed, I get gall stones. I had a minor occurrence the other night, which was not bad, it just kept me from sleeping. It occurred to me that it might be funny to write up the gall stone as a D and D type monster. Frankly, it was 5 am and seemed like a good idea at the time.

The only cure for gall stones is to have your gall bladder removed. I happen to like my gall bladder (I call it Little Green Jason) and have elected to keep it. For me, a sleepless night once or twice a year is preferable to surgery. I have insomnia anyway, so I am used to it.

I also have Toenail Fungus. Count yourself lucky I did not elect to blog about that.


Note: The image was copied from Wikipedia. The entire article is here:


shornk said...

I believe the best way to avoid gall stones is to avoid an excessive greasy meat diet.

Bring on the foot fungus blog.

Spider said...

I was amused. I'm sure there are other seemingly mundane ailments that could be portrayed as D&D monsters. Get enough of them together and you might be able to write your own Monsters Encyclopedia. LOL...

Jason Janicki said...

Okay, you defeat the troll, but you think it gave you athlete's foot. Roll vs. burning itch.

I have some Leomund's Soothing Creme. Will that give me bonuses?