Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cthulhu Brie Fhtagn!

Okay, this one is going to take a bit of explanation.

This morning at about 5:30 am, I was lying awake in bed, an unfortunate, but common occurrence. I’d been drifting in and out of sleep for a while, my brain bumping against a variety of subjects, many of which were stupid. Okay, most of which were stupid. I have no idea why celery man and a carrot man would need to fight.

I also recall thinking about whether Batman ever goes through a drive through in the Batmobile. I mean, it’s late, he’s been fighting crime all night and he’s probably hungry. He could call Alfred and have him prepare a snack, but Alfred’s roughly 700-years old and probably needs his sleep. Batman could just whip through Taco Bell and grab a burrito or something. I dunno, I would certainly do it.

Anyway, back to the stupidity at hand.

I was then struck by a thought. Not literally, of course, as that would be weird. The thought was, and I kid you not: The Cheese of Cthulhu.

Seriously. The Cheese of Cthulhu. Does Cthulhu even eat? Does he like cheese? Is great Cthulhu lactose intolerant? Does dairy give him gas (which would explain a few eruptions throughout history – I’m looking at you, Vesuvius)?

These thoughts were enough to more or less wake me up and I lay there, watching the sunlight slowly grow on the wall, thinking about them. The great question, of course, was what kind of cheese would Cthulhu eat? I knew immediately: brie.

I just don’t like brie. I prefer a nice cheddar or jack. Boring, I know, but that what we ate when I was a kid, so there you go. The first time I saw brie, I thought there was something wrong with it. Cheese, as far as I knew, should not ooze.

But enough about me, Cthulhu (and probably many of you) likes brie.

Wow, that was probably the most random blog I’ve ever written.

Cheers,
-Jason

4 comments:

J. Alexander Van Belkum said...

The Bats pro'lly wouldn't do taco bell. Flatulence and vigilantism don't mix. I'm thinking maybe a gas station--most fast food places I've seen aren't open past midnight, and Wayne's always up 'till dawn.

TX_Val said...

Well I don't know about Cheese, but I know about celery man...

Because he probably fought particle man.. .

sings "Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can"
----
“Particle Man” is a song by the band They Might Be Giants. It can be found on their 1990 release, Flood.

pixie_bit said...

Triangle WINS!

I think the problem with taking the batmobile through the drive through is about logistics - you know the batmobile is a very low to the ground car and I doubt Bats could reach the window properly - you know with any amount of dignity still intact anyway. Of course I have short arms, and he probably has a cool belt gadget to resolve this anyway...

Jason Janicki said...

He probably has some sort of 'Bat-Anti-Flatulance' device. It wouldn't do to let one fly whilst sneaking up on someone.

I remember the song, I believe Universe Man beats up Particle Man at the end?

Well, Batman does have the grappling hook gun-thing, so he could totally grab a bag of Taco Bell or whatever. Besides, the Batmobile probably can raise and lower itself (I would just assume it could).