Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cthulhu Brie Fhtagn!

Okay, this one is going to take a bit of explanation.

This morning at about 5:30 am, I was lying awake in bed, an unfortunate, but common occurrence. I’d been drifting in and out of sleep for a while, my brain bumping against a variety of subjects, many of which were stupid. Okay, most of which were stupid. I have no idea why celery man and a carrot man would need to fight.

I also recall thinking about whether Batman ever goes through a drive through in the Batmobile. I mean, it’s late, he’s been fighting crime all night and he’s probably hungry. He could call Alfred and have him prepare a snack, but Alfred’s roughly 700-years old and probably needs his sleep. Batman could just whip through Taco Bell and grab a burrito or something. I dunno, I would certainly do it.

Anyway, back to the stupidity at hand.

I was then struck by a thought. Not literally, of course, as that would be weird. The thought was, and I kid you not: The Cheese of Cthulhu.

Seriously. The Cheese of Cthulhu. Does Cthulhu even eat? Does he like cheese? Is great Cthulhu lactose intolerant? Does dairy give him gas (which would explain a few eruptions throughout history – I’m looking at you, Vesuvius)?

These thoughts were enough to more or less wake me up and I lay there, watching the sunlight slowly grow on the wall, thinking about them. The great question, of course, was what kind of cheese would Cthulhu eat? I knew immediately: brie.

I just don’t like brie. I prefer a nice cheddar or jack. Boring, I know, but that what we ate when I was a kid, so there you go. The first time I saw brie, I thought there was something wrong with it. Cheese, as far as I knew, should not ooze.

But enough about me, Cthulhu (and probably many of you) likes brie.

Wow, that was probably the most random blog I’ve ever written.



J. Alexander Van Belkum said...

The Bats pro'lly wouldn't do taco bell. Flatulence and vigilantism don't mix. I'm thinking maybe a gas station--most fast food places I've seen aren't open past midnight, and Wayne's always up 'till dawn.

TX_Val said...

Well I don't know about Cheese, but I know about celery man...

Because he probably fought particle man.. .

sings "Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can"
“Particle Man” is a song by the band They Might Be Giants. It can be found on their 1990 release, Flood.

pixie_bit said...

Triangle WINS!

I think the problem with taking the batmobile through the drive through is about logistics - you know the batmobile is a very low to the ground car and I doubt Bats could reach the window properly - you know with any amount of dignity still intact anyway. Of course I have short arms, and he probably has a cool belt gadget to resolve this anyway...

Jason Janicki said...

He probably has some sort of 'Bat-Anti-Flatulance' device. It wouldn't do to let one fly whilst sneaking up on someone.

I remember the song, I believe Universe Man beats up Particle Man at the end?

Well, Batman does have the grappling hook gun-thing, so he could totally grab a bag of Taco Bell or whatever. Besides, the Batmobile probably can raise and lower itself (I would just assume it could).