Whilst watching television this past weekend, I happened to see a commercial for some new memory enhancing drug. The commercial basically starts with ‘People in Iceland lead longer, healthier lives’ and then the announcer goes on to talk about memory loss.
However, although he repeats the bit about people in Iceland several times, he never actually says they use the product (who's name escapes me). He’s basically saying ‘People in Iceland are healthier! We have this product!’ without establishing a link between the two.
Obviously, they’re trying to imply a link, but the legal department won’t actually let them come out and say there was a link, as someone might actually check that. So they just sort of ‘infer’ a link.
So, what you end up with is two completely separate statements. He could literally have said anything in the first part. The commercial could very well have gone ‘The moon is chewy! Buy our product!’
With that in mind, here are a few suggestions for alternate phrases to start the commercial with:
1. It’s not easy being green!
2. Pelvis!
3. It hurts when I pee!
4. Duckbill Platypuses are mammals!
5. Water is wet!
6. I’m allergic to pain!
7. Je regrete rien!
8. Where are my keys?
9. Hey! That does not belong in your nose, Mister!
10. You are getting sleepy!
Cheers,
-Jason
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4 comments:
I like starting it with something like "You too, can have a happier sex life!"
Then maybe, "Buy Coca-Cola!"
Oh wait- all the herbal companies already do that. Second in line again... Plus, they have the benefit that the FDA can't test any of their stuff, so as long as one person says it actually *does* do that, then they can actually make the link- it does do it! (No fine print needed, even if it makes your hair fall out and only 1 of 1,000 people have that effect. Cool gig, I think, unless you're actually *buying* the swill.)
Wait, Coca-Cola doesn't help your sex life? Well, crap.
I honestly think the whole situation is criminal. It's basically legalized fraud. They did get the guy who started Enzyte though, so there's a small victory.
Wait- Bob is smiling because of profits? Darn...
Well, money is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Or is that power?
Either way, yep!
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