Tuesday, April 8, 2008

L.U.S.H.: Part 1

Bob ‘Moon Man’ Baker glanced down at the address at the bottom of the letter. He was definitely in the right place, but the modest office complex somehow didn’t look like the headquarters of the most powerful superhero collective on the planet.

He went into #201 and found a modest office front and a young man in green tights sitting at the desk. This seemed more like it.

“Hey there!” said the young man, glancing up from his game of FreeCell.

“Hi. I’m Bob- er ‘Moon Man.’ I got a letter about joining.” He held up the sheet of paper, showing the embossed logo.

“Great, we’ve been expecting you.” The receptionist pressed a button under the counter and the door popped open. “Go right on in, first door on the left.”


“No problem.”

Bob went through the door and turned left. The hallway was decorated with a variety of newspaper clippings with titles like ‘Hero Saves Cat’ and ‘Tire Changed at Super Speed!’ He found the first door and after taking a deep breath, entered.

It was a small meeting room, with half-a-dozen people in various superhero outfits sitting around the table. The conversation stopped when he entered and everyone turned to look at him.

“Uh . . . hi,” Bob said. “I’m ‘Moon Man.’”

“Hi, Moon Man,” replied the woman at the head of the table, as she rose. She was slim, but rather pretty, with a big ‘SG’ on the front of her black unitard. “I’m Shatter Gal, president of the North-East chapter of L.U.S.H.” She shook his hand with surprising strength.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” She gestured around the table. “I’ll let everyone else introduce themselves.”

“Miss Mist,” said a teenage girl in blue.

“The Hyena,” said the man next to her, who looked just like his name suggested.

“The Stevedore,” said a burly man in a plaid shirt.

“FTL,” said the next woman, who was dressed in gold and red.

“Super Soaker,” burbled the last man, who seemed to continuously perspiring.

“Please, take a seat,” said Shatter Gal, gesturing to an open chair.

“Thanks.” Moon Man sat down. “Ummm, I don’t know how to say this, but I’m a little confused. I thought I was joining the League of Super Heroes.”

There were a couple chuckles from around the table.

“We all were, dude,” said the Hyena, who then wiped at the drool that dripped from his muzzle.

“Let me explain,” said Shatter Gal. “We’re L.U.S.H. The League of Unattractive Super Heroes.”

Moon Man stared at her for a moment. “Okay, now I’m really confused.”

Tomorrow: Part II. Same L.U.S.H. Time! Same L.U.S.H. Channel!

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