Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Furbomb the Wonder Cat

A co-worker walked up to me the other day and said, and I quote “What’s the deal with Krypto the Superdog?”

“He’s a dog from Krypton that has all the powers of Superman,” I replied.

“Huh,” said my co-worker after a moment’s reflection. “That’s kind of stupid.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But not as bad as Bat-Dog.”

“True,” and then he wandered away.

NOTE: This sort of conversation is in no way strange at my work. What was odd was that nobody chimed in with their opinion. We once had a twenty-minute discussion among six people about whether or not a vampire could be turned into a zombie. Most of us said ‘no,’ save for one guy who insisted it was possible. This conversation included two leads and a member of upper-management.

Anyway, this brings me to today’s topic: Why are there no super cats? There’s Krypto the Wonder Dog, Bat-Dog, Wonder Dog, and Hoppy the Marvel Bunny (no, not making that up). Mister Talky Tawny doesn’t count (being a phooka). I’m sure I’m missing tons of super animals, but this is all my brain could dredge up.

NOTE: Catwoman has probably had a number of exceptional cats. I’m thinking more along the lines of animals with super powers. Granted, Bat-Dog doesn’t have any, but neither does Batman. And no, I don’t want to have an argument about whether or not the Batman is a Super Hero or a Hero.

So, yeah. No cats with super powers. Frankly, this smacks of species-ism. Cats, as many people will argue, are just as loyal, loving, and intelligent as dogs, if not more so. This is why I have decided to create the world’s first super cat: Furbomb the Wonder Cat.

Owned by a kindly, but forgetful little old lady, Furbomb gained his powers after eating a magical canary that had been the pet of famed wizard Dumbl- errrr Merlin. Yeah, Merlin. Furbomb gained super strength, invulnerability, a yowl that can crack concrete, and the ability to shed explosively, hence the name.

Now a super hero, Furbomb spends his days decimating the populations of small mammals and birds (and the occasional small plane or car) within a tri-state area, sharpening his claws on anything he wants to, napping on something warm (nuclear reactors, house fires, volcanoes), and getting his tummy rubbed by his owner.

Actually, scratch that (no pun intended). A super cat would be a really bad idea.



Citarra said...

Well there is the Pet Force, headed by Garzooka.

Citarra said...

spasticfreakshow said...

'myself and others have tried to help it'

this is incorrect. to get this right, always imagine the sentence without 'the others' - thus if 'i have tried to help it' sounds better than 'myself have tried to help it' than you can just add in the others with the correct pronoun. 'i and others tried to help it' may be awkward, but is more correct.

TX_Val said...

First off, where do you work and do you have any openings? Our conversations here aren't as fun, but then again, I'm about a decade younger then the next youngest employee.

2ndly :), Don't they always say cats sleep 18 hours a day? Throw in time for eating, and no one would ever get saved. That and Cats don't care.

The comic would start out with an awkward kitten that destroyed stuff (by accident) half the time it was saving people. Overly interject and all.

Later it would become calm and probably be a good hero for a year or two, before becoming a large alley cat that liked to roam around and sleep all day. I could see it being more like Hancock, in the beginning of the film. Large, unkept and irritable.

TX_Val said...

(reading the wiki link Citarra posted)
You know, even for comics, some of this stuff is out there. Supergirl threw this kryptonite, she was experimenting on, out the window. What the hell? How many little kids in that neighborhood were the 3 armed crusader after that.

Not sure I can get over Comet the super horse and Beppo the super monkey though. Could Comet the super horse have been a nail biter of a comic? Sure my little girl would love it, I'm going to have to find a few issues now.

p00k13d00dl35 said...

when i was a little girl there was a cartoon show about hero cats. i think it was called swat katz. see, there was this city of cats, who were always being menaced, and the swat katz had a jet with like, missile launchers on it. they didn't have any cool cat related powers... they were mechanics i think. with rockets. it was a good show, i was sad when it ended. i guess anybody (even cats) can be a hero if they have the right hardware.

Jason Janicki said...

Nice catches, Citarra. I didn't know about either Pet Force or Streaky the Supercat. I am appropriately humbled :)

Thanks for the correction, spasticfreakshow! I should know better . . . :)

Get a job at a computer game company, TX_Val, you'll have conversations like that all the time :)

Old comics, you just gotta love 'em! I would be willing to bet that that there was a Super Slug in there somewhere . . . Okay, I just did a search on wikipedia for Super Slug and didn't see anything. I might be wrong (though I bet someone will come up with one).

Oh! Swat Katz! I remember that show! The two cat heroes used to be ace fighter pilots on the police force, but were thrown out for some reason and built a super fighter in the junkyard they worked in. It was a fun!

TX_Val said...

Well unfortunately I don't have the skills to work for a gaming company. I'm very creative, but I never went through enough training to be useful.

They might not be earth hero's, but what about Thunder Cats. :)

Kris said...

Well I don't know if the Super Slug's ever got their own big stories, but I remember Foxtrot sometimes featured them as a creation by Jason as a semi batman duo thing. Slugman was it?

Jerron said...

you forgot the most important power! Explosive shedding is all well and good, but for those real tough to clean, er defeat, villains, you gotta use the Hork Ball. You ever see a cat hork up a furball? man, it almost makes me run just looking at the disgusting thing, if someone were going to throw it at me... (And that's not even the super-version. Wonder what it be like super-disgusting?)

Jason Janicki said...

Well, the Thunder Cats are humanoid cats, so I wouldn't count them. And I don't think they 'technically' have super-powers, they're just normally that bad-ass :)

Oh, yeah! I haven't read Foxtrot in years. I honestly don't recall, though I do remember that he always used to dress up his iguana to bug his sister. He probably did a superhero riff with it at least once.

That would be the one power Furbomb would never, ever use, simply because it's too gross (and would probably destroy the world) :)

Ed said...

Pixel could walk through walls. Ref: "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls", Robert Heinlein.

Admittedly, Pixel was more of a sidekick, as he's never been more than a bit character in any story, having no other super powers.

Jason Janicki said...

Another good cat reference. I haven't read Heinlein since high school, but I have vague recollections of 'The Cat Who Walked Through Walls.' I'm pretty sure that was one of the Lazarus Long books, right?