Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Conversation at Helm's Deep: Part 2

And so, the Uruk-Hai go marching off to Helm’s Deep. This begs the question: how’d they know how to march? This leads to further questions, such as how’d they know how to fight? Frankly, how’d they know how to walk?

Now, I could be wrong on this account, but it only seemed like maybe a couple weeks between when the army was created and when it went off to storm Helm’s Deep. That’s a lot of learning to cram into such a short period of time. And it’s not like they were reading Sieges for Dummies on the way there.

For some reason, Saruman’s Big Pop-Up Book of Sieges sprang to mind. This made me chuckle (you pull the tab to make the boiling oil come out of the cauldron).

Yet, putting those issues aside, it took at least a couple days for them to get to Helm’s Deep. Maybe they marched in complete silence, but what’d they talk about when they made camp?

“Hey, where we go?”

“We go to fight Men.”


“Dunno, but bossy guy on tower said we had to.”

“Oh. What’s a Man?”

“Dunno, but they bad. Why else bossy guy send us to kill them?”

“Oh. Maybe we make friends with Men instead?”


“So we can ask them to prom. Me have corsage and everything.”

“Me think you hung up on prom.”

Note: I have no idea why the Uruk-Hai talk like cavemen. It just seemed appropriate.

Tomorrow: Part 3: Uruk-Hai at Helm’s Deep or ‘I’m just an orc, yes I’m only an orc.’


NekoKawaiiDesu said...

I'm a big fan of the movie as it seems you are as well, but the books take place over a period of years and Peter Jackson had to cut out alot from the books to make them into movie format. If you are the type for books, I suggest taking the time to read them so you can have all the tidbits that are missing :)

Jason Janicki said...

Actually, I've read the trilogy and the Silmarillian(sp?) about six times all the way through. I reread them before the movies came out, but haven't picked them up since.

I freely admit that I now get the movies and the books confused on some points :)