Thursday, February 7, 2008

BMW Jealousy

I happened to be behind a Chevy Avalanche today at a stoplight and wondered what would possess someone to name a car that. While Avalanche is a really cool superhero name, it seems odd to name a vehicle after a phenomenon wherein rocks fall off a mountain and try to hit you.

Now, I realize that cars (and trucks in particular) need to have cool and macho names. This is why you’ll never see a Toyota Limp or a Chevy Castration. I also realize that all the really good names (Corvette, Mustang, or Cobra) have already been taken. That is why I have decided to come up with a list of new and exciting names for cars.

1 Ford Ginormous
2 Chevy Steroid
3 Hyundai Hubris
4 Toyota Salacious
5 Lincoln Tectonic Shift
6 Kia Body Shot
7 Rolls Royce Old Money
8 Jeep Lobotomy
9 Plymouth Unpronounceable
10 BMW Jealousy

And my personal favorite: The Subaru F$&k Yeah!

Car makers: I am willing to part with these names for a modest fee. Call me.


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