Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Me Vs. Chocolate

So there I was, preparing to break a five-pound bar of chocolate with my head. Why? you might ask. Huh? is also an appropriate response.

It is not a long story. My friend Laura got a five-pound Hershey bar for her birthday. If you have never seen one, they are roughly the size of a computer keyboard and about 2 inches thick. I train in martial arts and she though it would be cool if I broke it. We discussed various ways to do this and settled on me breaking it with my head. I positioned Leigh and the chocolate, Beth, another friend, got the camera ready. I prepared.

The thing is I had no idea if I could do this. I train in kung-fu and we do not break boards, bricks, or anything else. We especially do not break things with our heads. I have no clue how dense or tough a five-pound bar of chocolate is and yet I am preparing to break it in front of all my friends.

There were three possibilities. I could break it. This is the optimal outcome. Ideally, I would look cool doing so. The second option is that I would fail to break it. This would be embarrassing, but I figured I could blame Leigh for not holding it right. The third, least desirable outcome would be that not only would I not break it, but I would knock myself out doing so. This would be bad, not only because of the embarrassment, but because I would have to kill all of my friends upon regaining consciousness so they could not tease me about it for the rest of my natural life.

I did a three-count. On three, I lunged. Head met chocolate. Physics happened. The chocolate bar smashed in a truly amazing way.

I was victorious.

The rest of the evening was uneventful, at least by comparison. We chatted and ate chocolate. I did something cool and did not have to murder my friends. It was all good.



Laura said...

After I asked him to do it, I started getting very nervous that he was really going to hurt himself. It was 2 inches thick. But the stars aligned, and not only was it ultimately cool to watch, Beth timed the photo just right with part of the bar flying away, capturing interesting facial expressions in the background. Jason, can you post the picture?

Jason Janicki said...

I will get the picture up tonight. In retrospect, breaking it with my head was probably the safest thing to do. It is the thickest piece of bone in your body and frankly, I do not use it much.

nutellasogood said...

i didn't know they made hershey bars that big. those are great pictures!