Three In The Afternoon

Here's a fun Star Wars fan video that I happened across.



It's rather clever and has a fun ending.

I'll be back tomorrow with a blog about zombies and Spokane.

Cheers,
-Jason

School Duel: Episode 1

Here's another really well done Star Wars short courtesy of Captain Hesperus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bopKelOLZZg&feature=related

Cheers,
-Jason

RvD2: Ryan vs. Dorkman 2

And today we have another gem from Ryan Wieber and Michael Scott, who brought us Ryan vs. Dorkman.

I especially like the part where they go corps-a-corps under the stairs. Very cool and inventive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-is63goeBgc

Cheers,
-Jason

Homemade Star Wars

This is terribly, terribly cool.

A couple guys did a homemade Star Wars movie and it rocks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ha9pzITLRk

Enjoy!

Cheers,
-Jason

Vader’s List: Part 2

For Sale:
Blasters (21,153)
From: Stormtrooper D93744
Looking to sell/swap standard issue blaster for same. This one seems to shoot to the left for whatever reason. Would prefer one that shot to the right.

Misc. Weaponry (11,045)
Used Armor (75,982)
From: Stormtrooper I33604
Collectables! Remember that prison escape yesterday? The one with the Princess and the wookie? Well I have the helmets that the guys were wearing! Get your hands on these one-of-a-kind collectables! These are the only people to EVER escape the Death Star! Do not let this opportunity pass you by! FYI – Helmets smell like trash masher.

Lost and Found (822)
From Technician AD8372-1
MISSING BLUEPRINTS! I had a copy of the Death Star blueprints on my desk yesterday and now they’re gone. I would be in MAJOR trouble if anyone noticed, so if you happen so see them, please give me a call. They were stored on a standard memory unit with a kitten sticker on them. Last seen yesterday when that tour group of Bothans came by.

For Sale (5,324):
From Technician ZE4551-7
Vader’s Greatest Chokings! My and a buddy went through all the security videos and cropped together a montage of Vader choking people with the Force. This guy is definitely an equal opportunity strangler! See him choking officers, enlisted, stormtroopers, random guests, prisoners, technicians, and anybody else who happens to piss him off. 142 minutes.

Gigs (368)
Writing (34)
Labor (54)
Adult (10)
From Lt. Nilt
Stormtroopers of the Death Star Calendar. We will be issuing a tasteful, adult themed Stormtrooper calendar to help defray Death Star construction costs. If you are an attractive/well-built Stormtrooper, report immediately to Lt. Nilt, Level 29, Block C, Room 117 to determine if you are suitable for the calendar. This is an order.

Cheers,
-Jason

Troopers Are People Too: Episode 6: The Return of the Jedi

A large force of Imperial troops, including AT-STs, are holding position in the thick forest of Endor. Two troopers are standing apart from the rest.

FIRST TROOPER: So why are we here?

SECOND TROOPER: Were supposed to ambush the Rebels after they sneak-attack the Force Field Generator.

FIRST TROOPER: Ah. This is the shield generator thats protecting the new Death Star, right?

SECOND TROOPER: Yep.

FIRST TROOPER: Ah. I dont get it. What if the rebels manage to blow up the Generator before we can ambush them? Isnt this like, majorly risky?

SECOND TROOPER: Hey, I didnt come up with the plan.

FIRST TROOPER: I know, I know. Im just saying. Its not like Im paying to rebuild the Death Star again.

SECOND TROOPER: Yeah. I wonder how much that thing costs, anyway?

FIRST TROOPER: There are more zeroes on that budget than we could even count, my friend.

SECOND TROOPER: Yeah, you got that right.

The troopers wait in silence for a few minutes.

FIRST TROOPER: Yknow, Ive been thinking. These rebels. Whats their beef with the Empire anyway?

SECOND TROOPER: Got me.

FIRST TROOPER: The Empire provides jobs, keeps the galaxy stable. I mean, are we really that bad?

SECOND TROOPER: Whos we? Im just punching the clock here. All I want is a decent retirement on a planet that doesnt suck too much.

FIRST TROOPER: Yeah. Yknow, this place aint too bad. Theres a lot of trees, nice weather.

LIEUTENANT: Troopers, move out!

SECOND TROOPER: Well, here we go.

The Imperial troops quickly surround and capture the Force Field Station. Rebel prisoners are being escorted out, hands on their heads.

FIRST TROOPER: Wow, an op that didnt go horribly wrong.

Even as he says this, a battle-shout erupts from the surrounding bushes. Spears and rocks begin to rain down on the Stormtroopers. The rebels quickly escape, rearms themselves and the fighting grows fierce.

SECOND TROOPER: Looks like you spoke too soon.

The two troopers hold their positions, occasionally firing into the surrounding forest as rocks bounce off their armor.

FIRST TROOPER: What the hell? Were fighting stuffed animals!

SECOND TROOPER: What?

FIRST TROOPER: Theyre frickin teddy bears!

SECOND TROOPER: Okay, this is stupid.

A rock clangs off his helmet.

FIRST TROOPER: My kidsre gonna love this one. Yes, dear, your daddy shot Twinkles the Bear in the face.

SECOND TROOPER: Yknow what? Im sick of this. The pays lousy, the armor itches and doesnt do squat anyway and I cant see out of this helmet. The Emperor can kiss my ass, Im gonna surrender. You with me?

FIRST TROOPER: Why the hell not? We can get jobs in the private sector, maybe I can actually see my family for a change.

Both troopers drop their weapons and raise their hands.

FIRST TROOPER: Hey! Teddy Ruxpin! We surrender!

Three rocks bounce off his armor.

SECOND TROOPER: Stupid bears.

Troopers Are People Too: Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back

The battle for Hoth continues. Imperial AT-AT and AT-STs move across the barren landscape as Rebel Snowspeeders fly around and in-between them, their shots ricocheting off the Imperial armor. Cut to the inside of an AT-AT. Imperial Stormtroopers are in a cramped compartment, waiting to be sent into battle. At one end, two troopers are standing together.

FIRST TROOPER: Well, this sucks.

SECOND TROOPER: Yeah. I mean, how were we to know that guy turned off the tractor beam? We couldnt even see the control panel.

FIRST TROOPER: And he was a frikin Jedi! He coulda had us dancing the funky Bantha if he wanted to.

SECOND TROOPER: They can do that?

FIRST TROOPER: Oh yeah. They can, like, block lasers blasts and hypnotize you and make you max out your credit cards, all sorts of stuff.

SECOND TROOPER: Whered you hear that?

FIRST TROOPER: The History Channel.

SECOND TROOPER: Really? Every time I turn it on theres some show about the Clone Wars. Its always 10 Greatest Battles of the Clone Wars or Hell in Space or Shoelaces of the Separatists or something.

FIRST TROOPER: I heard the Emperor totally loves those shows, so he executes people when theyre not on.

SECOND TROOPER: Oh, that makes sense. So, have you seen the vid of Vaders fight with that Jedi?

FIRST TROOPER: Didnt know there was one.

SECOND TROOPER: Oh, its awesome. The security cameras got the whole thing. Vader totally disintegrates the guy!

FIRST TROOPER: Whoa!

SECOND TROOPER: Yeah! And people are already modding it. Theres one where the Jedi is a giant bunny and another where they dubbed in new dialogue. Its hysterical.

Theres a sound of a sudden, large explosion. The compartment shakes violently and the troopers almost fall over. One trooper looks out the view port.

FIRST TROOPER: Holy crap! They took out #3!

SECOND TROOPER: Stupid rebellion.

Troopers Are People Too: Episode 4: A New Hope

OFFICER: Secure this area until the alert is canceled.

FIRST TROOPER: Give me regular reports.

All but two of the stormtroopers leave.

FIRST TROOPER: Do you know whats going on?

SECOND TROOPER: Maybe its another drill.

Ben moves around the tractor beam, watching the stormtroopers as they turn their backs to him. Ben gestures with his hand toward them, as the troops think they hear something in the other hallway. With the help of the Force, Ben deftly slips past the troopers and into the main hallway.

SECOND TROOPER: What was that?

FIRST TROOPER: Oh, its nothing. Dont worry about it.

SECOND TROOPER: So, did you talk to the wife?

FIRST TROOPER: Yeah, were gonna get back together. Shes still freaked out about that close-call on the Ambassaders ship, but I told her I got transferred to the Death Star. I was like Honey, its a billion tons of metal with a giant laser on it. Its the safest posting in the entire Empire.

SECOND TROOPER: Speaking of the Ambassader, did you see Princess Laura or whatever-her-name-is? Damn!

FIRST TROOPER: You got that right. I would totally – shit, its Vader!

The two stormtroopers snap to attention as Lord Vader strides past. They relax when he turns the corner.

SECOND TROOPER: That guy totally gives me the creeps.

FIRST TROOPER: Why do you think he wears all that stuff anyway?

SECOND TROOPER: Hell if I know. I heard he has Space Asthma or something.

FIRST TROOPER: You know what I heard?

SECOND TROOPER: What?

FIRST TROOPER: Hes actually a chick.

SECOND TROOPER: No way!

FIRST TROOPER: Yeah! I heard it from Jenkins whos got that buddy in SysOps. It supposedly says female in his . . . her, personnel file.

SECOND TROOPER: Right. Vaders file is totally sealed. How would he get a look?

FIRST TROOPER: I dunno. Thats just what I heard.

The stormtroopers stand in silence for a while.

FIRST TROOPER: Stupid drill.