Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Punch Buggy

Some of you may have seen the new series of Volkswagen ads featuring the ‘punch buggy’ phenomenon. For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about (and generally, most people don’t) ‘Punch Buggy’ is when you see a Volkswagen and punch the person you’re with in the shoulder.

NOTE: I have no idea what you do if you’re with several people and see a Volkswagen. Do you hit everyone? This isn’t so bad if you’re in a small group, but what if you’re on a bus? Should you strike each and every person? Seriously, what’s the etiquette on this? I’d hate to be the only one who doesn’t know.

Now, my sister and I didn’t do this when we were kids. Oh, we hit each other plenty, along with grabbing, hair pulling, biting, kneeing, left and right hooks, bludgeoning with frozen fish, and once she gave me a black eye with a Barbie doll. Honestly, I never thought Ken had it in him . . .

But to get back on point, the whole ‘Punch Buggy’ thing is a relatively new thing for me and frankly, it has me a bit worried. I mean, what comes next? Stabbing Hondas? Throttling Cadillacs? Knock-Them-Down-and-Then-Deliver-A-Vicious-Kicking Fords? Make-Out Toyotas? Well, okay, Make-Out Toyotas might not be that bad, depending on whom you were with.

And how exactly did this start? Was it some sort of government conspiracy in mind-control? A frat tradition that just got out of hand? Was there some psychotic who triggered when he saw a Volkswagen and others thought it was funny? Or could it be some sort of alien plot to slowly condition us to violence, so they can use us as cannon fodder in an intergalactic war for supremacy?

Huh. That actually sounds really cool. If they gave me space armor and a plasma rifle, I would probably do it regardless . . .

But I digress.

Once again, someone needs to get to the bottom of this. I hereby re-re-repropose that the government give me several billion dollars to start a Super Science Team composed of myself and at least five female model/scientists so that we can get to the bottom of this.

Oh, and the model/scientists have to be single. And like men with hairy backs.

Cheers,
-Jason

10 comments:

Toil3T said...

I was first exposed to it in an old episode of The Simpsons. I imagine a lot of children were, and still are, being exposed by the constant reruns.

"gunner" said...

its one of those things that if you ignore it, it will go away, or if it gets too annoying sucker punch the twerp straight in the gut then kick him while he's down to teach him better manners, and respect for your personal space.

Lawliet said...

Over here in England we have 'mini-punch', dunno why the differance.

Anyway I imagine it started somewhat as a drinking game but then one day...:
'Hey, there's a buggy! Gimmie a shot!'
'Sorry man, got none left.'
'WELL I'LL JUST BEAT YOU THEN!'

Or something.

Buzzcook said...

Slug bug.

See how a simple rhyme can end in violence?

That is why I and many like me forswear poetry.

Silver said...

The local custom is yellow cars, and it's one punch per car. If you see one, you punch the closest person, before they have time to punch you (or anyone else has time to punch someone else). If you do it wrong, ie, punch someone after another punch, or the car isn't really yellow at all, then everyone in the vicinity get to punch you for breaking the rules, some variations say it's 3 times (that's cumultative, if the punishment punch is judged wrong by the majority, then the punishment puncher gets punishment punched 3 times for each punishment punch). It can get bad. Real bad.

Alexander, the Chalybs Levitas said...

VW's got the custom wrong, though. It's volkswagen beetles only.

riest

"gunner" said...

silver,
riots have started precisely that way.

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid (way back in the waning years of the 70s), it was "Slug Bug" and only applied to VW Beetles.

I haven't seen any of the new ads, but it sounds like VW is applying it's own rules to the game.

Jason Janicki said...

So no one knows how it started, huh? Sounds suspicious to me, which is why we need the Super Science Action Squad even more!

Hey, the acronym is SASS. That's not bad. I generally stink at acronyms :)

"gunner" said...

acronyms? my favourite is the Police Assistance Projects Administration Special Mobile Uniformed Reaction Force.