Punch Buggy

Some of you may have seen the new series of Volkswagen ads featuring the ‘punch buggy’ phenomenon. For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about (and generally, most people don’t) ‘Punch Buggy’ is when you see a Volkswagen and punch the person you’re with in the shoulder.

NOTE: I have no idea what you do if you’re with several people and see a Volkswagen. Do you hit everyone? This isn’t so bad if you’re in a small group, but what if you’re on a bus? Should you strike each and every person? Seriously, what’s the etiquette on this? I’d hate to be the only one who doesn’t know.

Now, my sister and I didn’t do this when we were kids. Oh, we hit each other plenty, along with grabbing, hair pulling, biting, kneeing, left and right hooks, bludgeoning with frozen fish, and once she gave me a black eye with a Barbie doll. Honestly, I never thought Ken had it in him . . .

But to get back on point, the whole ‘Punch Buggy’ thing is a relatively new thing for me and frankly, it has me a bit worried. I mean, what comes next? Stabbing Hondas? Throttling Cadillacs? Knock-Them-Down-and-Then-Deliver-A-Vicious-Kicking Fords? Make-Out Toyotas? Well, okay, Make-Out Toyotas might not be that bad, depending on whom you were with.

And how exactly did this start? Was it some sort of government conspiracy in mind-control? A frat tradition that just got out of hand? Was there some psychotic who triggered when he saw a Volkswagen and others thought it was funny? Or could it be some sort of alien plot to slowly condition us to violence, so they can use us as cannon fodder in an intergalactic war for supremacy?

Huh. That actually sounds really cool. If they gave me space armor and a plasma rifle, I would probably do it regardless . . .

But I digress.

Once again, someone needs to get to the bottom of this. I hereby re-re-repropose that the government give me several billion dollars to start a Super Science Team composed of myself and at least five female model/scientists so that we can get to the bottom of this.

Oh, and the model/scientists have to be single. And like men with hairy backs.

Cheers,
-Jason