Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Very Very Not Warm

A strange thing happened this morning. I walked outside, humming a happy tune, fully prepared to go to work and be a productive member of the team. However, as I was locking my door, I noticed something odd.

It was very, very not warm.

“Huh,” I said to myself. “It’s a bit unlike hot.” I then realized that there were icicles already forming on my hair. A closer investigation revealed that it was not just icicles, but a solid layer of ice. In fact, my whole body was covered in a thick layer of the stuff and was rapidly turning blue.

I then made two important discoveries:

1. I had forgotten to towel off after my shower
2. I had forgotten not only pants, but my shirt as well

Moving was becoming difficult, so it took a moment for me to get the key back into the lock and unlock the door. As it swung open, I then noticed a ninja above my doorway, ninja-to ready to decapitate me. Or rather, he had been ready to decapitate me, as he’d frozen solid to the wall, his black ninja garb proving insufficient against the intense un-heat that the night had produced.

So, being the friendly sort that I am, I snapped him off and carried him inside. I set him by the heater and then sat down next to him to get the worse of the ice off. He twitched a bit as he thawed out and I checked on him periodically as I toweled off and put actual clothes on.

It turns out his name is Taro, which is like the Japanese version of ‘John’ or possibly ‘Humperdink.’ I give him full credit, as he did try to stab me when he had thawed out enough. I was prepared for this, though, and merely stepped out of the way because he hadn’t realized that in my haste to get him inside, I accidentally broken most of his toes off. This caused his lunge to fall far short and send him crashing into the carpet.

We then had a nice little chat about ninja duties and obligations, the idea of creating ‘goretex’ ninja garb, and lastly, how useful toes are when you suddenly don’t have any. However, I still had to go to work, so I asked Taro to let himself out and left for work (though he did politely remind me to put my shoes back on).

Anyway, it is incredibly the reverse of sweltering in the Seattle area and I made a new, albeit toeless friend. I’ll make sure to grab his toes when they finally fall off, as I’m sure he’d appreciate having them back.



Anonymous said...

Very bright and sun shiny cold though.
If you stay in the sun light you can get an approximation of un-cold. But that makes shadows all the more frightening, as they are clearly delineated spots of evil cold.

BTW your new friends ninja days are over. Maybe you could use a new gardener.


Jason Janicki said...

Oh, I always stay away from shadows. Too many ninjas.

Yeah, poor old Taro. He's planning on doing some very violent flower arranging.

Slamlander said...

That's what you get for breaking you acclimatization on South California ;)

Jason Janicki said...

Yeah, that'll teach me :)

Anonymous said...

XDD kekekekekekekeke.....
Dude! Buzzcook. When I read the 'gardener' part, I instantly thought of Jason going on an adventure with a trusty gardener side kick, the adventure part mostly involving getting chased around by Nazghuls and proclaiming everlasting loyalty to your mate. *ahem!* oops, I mean TEAM mate....... Oh, and spiders. Yez...... Lots and LOTS of spiders..... }=D
Oh, and wasn't there something about saving the world? Not with Screaming Monkey Vengeance, but hey! maybe we can work something in...... =D

-Andrea the Swift of Arrow

Jason Janicki said...

Oooh, I might totally steal this for a blog, Andrea! :)