Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I Am a Chicken

Earlier in the week I fell ill. It was not bad, as far as illness go, but I pretty much slept all day Sunday and most of Monday. Relatively speaking, it probably made up for the insomnia of previous weeks.

However, one interesting side effect of being that sick, for me at least, is what I call fever dreams. Basically, I have amazingly strange and vivid dreams. These dreams don’t just have sound, color, and plot, they have a whole 4th Dimension of weirdness as well.

For example, when I was in the 6th grade, I was laid out with the flu. I had a dream where I was a two-dimensional object (a square to be precise), who was trying to find a way to break into the 3-dimensional world. My search was rather hampered by the gang of swirls that kept chasing me around.

No, really. I’m not kidding.

So, Sunday night, I was a chicken, a rooster, actually. I was trying to find a way to free my brethren from the clutches of the evil Colonel who bore a suspicious resemblance to a certain military commander with a line of chicken restaurants.

Yes, the Colonel was making nuggets out of my people and I was determined to stop him. After a gun battle in fast-food establishment (which was in the first person), complete with bullet-time, John Woo-esque leaping, and the dispatch of a foe via knocking him into the deep fat fryer, I learned the location of the Colonel’s secret factory.

I gathered my stalwart companions (who were also chickens) and dressed in black commando garb, we stormed the compound. A ferocious gun battle ensued (though this time in a 3rd Person overhead view), where many a chicken and man alike fell in a hail of lead. Think the D-Day scene from Saving Private Ryan done in a warehouse with chickens carrying machine guns and you’ll get the idea.

I managed to make it into the main factory and oddly enough, it was now a side-scrolling platformer (think Mario). I now had to jump between floors, evading traps and pixilated bullets, while pecking any enemy who got close enough. I eventually made it to the Colonel, who resembled Donkey-Kong wearing a white suit, glasses, and a white goatee.

Unfortunately, something must have disturbed me during the fight with the Colonel, so I never found out if I won. Instead the scene shifted and I (being regular me now, not a chicken) ended up hitting a series of hanging pails with a lead pipe, hoping a clock would fall out of one.

I am dead serious.

In retrospect, maybe I need to stop playing so many video games.

Cheers,
-Jason

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Or maybe come up with idea for new video games.

That would make an interesting game. I wouldn't mind playing that on my Wii, switching between different viewpoints might work quite well

Anonymous said...

Wow. That's. Just. Awesome. Mr.Sanders was definitely defeated.

I always have dreams to that level of vividness right before I wake, only to forget them within 30 seconds. So thus, I have only the dream of another to swap. One bygone Christmas, when I tried to wake my little brother, he had a dream that Santa was trying to steal his bedsheets. True story.

benaforn said...

That makes a wonderful, if disturbing, mental image. I wonder if you had the song 'cows with guns' in the background...

My dreams (my normal, not-sick dreams) are vaguely similar, only with more emotional drama. Last one I remember involved a troupe of singing, dancing drow in the Underdark who had decided that their life's passion was to perform in a musical.

Jax said...

A musical performed by Drow sounds more like a nightmare. But I like it. I'm a sick puppy.

Jason Janicki said...

That'd be a hard sell, having every possible gametype crammed together like that. Would be fun though ;)

But were you trying to steal his bedsheets?

Sorry, benaform, not familiar with 'cows with guns.' Cool title, who did it?

I admit I have a special soft spot for Drow. A Drow musical, while potentially bloody, could be very interesting :)

benaforn said...

Jason --

Oh dear. I fear I'm contributing to twisting you even further...

http://www.cowswithguns.com/cowmovie.html

Anonymous said...

http://www.cowswithguns.com/homepage.html

Ariel said...

When I read the title I was sure you were going to talk about WoW and your(I guess) newly leveled oomkin(balance druid with the moonkin form). Yours was funnier.
Most of my personal dreams(those that I can remember) are either narrated or without sound, but usually in not important color. I remember a dream that I was walking in my kibutz(a settlement based on the communist ideology), every area was in a different color and it seemed like it was a sign as to what to do in that area- that dream didn't have a part II, though.

Jason Janicki said...

Once I heard it, I realize I heard Cows with Guns years ago, but had forgotten it. Good stuff.

Yeah, dreams are funny things. And I don't have a druid. Tried to play one, but kinda got bored. I already had a rogue and a warrior, so I already had characters that could do most everything the druid could do. Oh well.

Gillsing said...

Wait a minute! What about the trolls? I was counting on some juicy gossip about trolls the next time you (gods forbid) fell ill.

But maybe you didn't make any promises...

Anonymous said...

Better late than never.

I once had a dream that they (you know who) made an obstacle course that mimicked a life-sized Zelda dungeon, and several people dressed in Linkwear were competing, because there could be only one Hylian.

I also had a dream that I helped a strange Russian guy bury a body at night, and then we watched TV through someone's window.

I just thought that I should tell you.

Jason Janicki said...

Actually, a life-sized Zelda dungeon would totally rock :)