Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Adventuring is Hard

So, while I was playing WoW the other night with my 5-man instance group, I was sneaking along with my Rogue through scores of MOBs (the end boss in BRD, if you happen to know where I mean) and I thought to myself, as a patrol passed by, ‘Man, it would suck if I sneezed right now.’

This random thought made me reflect on what life would be like to be an adventurer, not just in WoW, but in any of the scores of MMORPGs and pen-and-paper based games

Being an adventurer would be hard. Think about it. You constantly travel, routinely fight horrible things with fangs that want to eat you, basically camp-out 90% of the time, and would probably know which leaves made the best toilet paper. Actually, you would eventually learn which leaves made the best toilet paper. There would have to be a certain amount of trial and error involved, which would probably lead to some really interesting (read painful) rashes. Just hope you have a cleric with you, otherwise life would be hell for quite a while.

And just when you came to know which leaves worked best and which leaves needed to be avoided, what would happen? That’s right, you’d wind up on another continent, planet, or plane of existence and you’d have to start all over again.

Imagine a camp of stalwart adventurers, hardened by years of combat and eating things that tried to eat them first, at camp on a new continent.

“Hey, why is Garin standing in the bushes crying?”

“He can’t decide whether to use the blue leaf that smells funny or the green one that looks like a top hat.”

“You’re kidding? That’s Garin the Destroyer! He once bit an eyestalk off a Beholder on a bet and called the Minotaur King a pansy to his face!”

“Well, last time he tried the soft purple leaf and discovered it was actually alive.”


“It bit him in the . . . err, little Garin and wouldn’t let go. Let’s just say I had to cast Cure Critical Wounds. Twice.”


Tomorrow: Warriors: Having a Healer Means Getting Stabbed More Often


Trich said...

I think thats when you just have to buck up and go through life with a Kender personality.... maybe thats why no one will do Dragonlance campaigns with me anymore XD

Jason Janicki said...

I had a guy play a Kender in my campaign for a while. He did a fantastic job of being obliviously annoying. Thing was, he was 6'7" and built like a tree-trunk, so no one dared complain. His name was Doorknob. Fun times :)