I happened to be thinking about the Lord of the Rings the other day. This happens to me sometimes, for no readily apparent reason. I’ll be walking along and suddenly think ‘If Mordor had a fast food restaurant, what would they serve?”
NOTE: It would be called Sauron’s and it would serve Hobbit Burgers, Men-on-a-Stick, Orc Nuggets and Diet Dr. Pepper. Happy Meals would come with very small trebuchets.
I blame my parents.
Anyhow, it occurred to me that with the defeat of Sauron and the Beginning of the Age of Men, what would all the orcs do? There has to be a couple hundred thousand of them left and they can’t all get jobs at the DMV.
Obviously, they would need to interview first:
Interviewer: So now . . . Argth . . . is it?
Argth: Yah.
Interviewer: Great. Now, I just have to ask. What are you wearing around your neck?
Argth: Man skull.
Interviewer: Super. So then, what are your qualifications?
Argth: Me inna army long time. Me kill (slowly counts on fingers) 8 Men at white city. Me killed dem gud.
Interviewer: Ah. Is there anything else?
Argth: Me gots . . . er . . . people skill.
Interviewer: Excellent. And why do you want to work as a Kindergarten teacher?
Argth: Me likes kids. Dey tasty.
Tomorrow: Part 2
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Crosswords and Spiders
This crossed my computer screen the other day and I thought it was amazingly funny and sad at the same time.
I also found this, which is just freakin' cool. Do not go here if you don't like spiders of the big, hairy kind. You can feed it bugs!
http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/
Tomorrow: Something about orcs!
Cheers,
-Jason
I also found this, which is just freakin' cool. Do not go here if you don't like spiders of the big, hairy kind. You can feed it bugs!
http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/
Tomorrow: Something about orcs!
Cheers,
-Jason
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Refreshed
I'm no longer pooped. Last week was rather hectic at work, with it being the final week of a Sprint. A Sprint is something like a Dash, but completely unlike a Meander.
Actually, a Sprint is a term used to denote a period of time in which things are supposed to be accomplished. I think. Anyway, the Sprint took up a lot of time and I worked late most of the week. That combined with the shouting match last Wednesday night at 2am left me more or less drained.
However, I am happy to say that I am now refreshed and ready to do it all over again! Hooray!
Leigh was equally busy last week. He drew many, many pictures that will someday grace Wayfarer's Moon. I have watched him do this and I find the whole process rather arcane. He draws eight lines and it's a face. I draw eight lines and its some sort of mutant goat. Now, mutant goats are cool, but I was also shooting for a face.
I guess there's something to be said for that whole 'art degree and a lifetime of practice.'
Anyhow, more updates as usual this week. On Friday, I will reveal the results of the voting for the new 'group term' for nerds.
Cheers,
-Jason
Actually, a Sprint is a term used to denote a period of time in which things are supposed to be accomplished. I think. Anyway, the Sprint took up a lot of time and I worked late most of the week. That combined with the shouting match last Wednesday night at 2am left me more or less drained.
However, I am happy to say that I am now refreshed and ready to do it all over again! Hooray!
Leigh was equally busy last week. He drew many, many pictures that will someday grace Wayfarer's Moon. I have watched him do this and I find the whole process rather arcane. He draws eight lines and it's a face. I draw eight lines and its some sort of mutant goat. Now, mutant goats are cool, but I was also shooting for a face.
I guess there's something to be said for that whole 'art degree and a lifetime of practice.'
Anyhow, more updates as usual this week. On Friday, I will reveal the results of the voting for the new 'group term' for nerds.
Cheers,
-Jason
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Mayhap Murder
I work in a large cube-farm with offices lining the walls. I am fortunate in that I am in one of the wall offices with a window. I am not so fortunate that I share it with two other people, one of whom smells.
No, honestly, he doesn’t smell. He does mutter a lot though and he covets my mouse pad. God help him if he touches my mouse pad! It has a picture of a kitten on it. With a machine gun. Hence the coveting.
Okay, I’ll stop there. They’re both really good guys and there’s no coveting or smelling or inappropriate touching or muttering or holding of one’s pets for ransom. It is, all in all, a harmonious arrangement. Baking, of all things, sometimes happens.
NOTE: I have no idea if they read these. Let’s hope for a ‘no.’
However, one thing that kinda bugs me is when I pass one of them in the hall. We normally do this at least two or three times as day, as we all having meetings and stabbings to attend. The first pass of the day, we usually say ‘hi.’ The second pass, we generally nod. If it happens a third time, there are embarrassed smiles.
The fourth time though, we have no idea what to do. We just kinda avert our eyes and pretend not to notice each other, even though one of us has obviously just taken the last donut from the kitchen. It’s downright awkward with extra ‘awk.’
We have literally run out of socially acceptable ways to acknowledge each other’s presence. I fear that one day, we may pass a fifth time. I have no idea what will happen. Fists may fly. Tears may be shed. One of us might well scream and throw ourselves out the nearest window. This isn’t quite as bad as it sounds, as we are on the first floor, but still.
It’s weird. I can literally work 10 hours within arm’s reach of them and not notice they’re there. It’s like we all have our own private nerd cocoons. Yet passing them in the hall could someday result in murder. Or at least, a spilled Diet 7-Up.
Cheers,
-Jason
No, honestly, he doesn’t smell. He does mutter a lot though and he covets my mouse pad. God help him if he touches my mouse pad! It has a picture of a kitten on it. With a machine gun. Hence the coveting.
Okay, I’ll stop there. They’re both really good guys and there’s no coveting or smelling or inappropriate touching or muttering or holding of one’s pets for ransom. It is, all in all, a harmonious arrangement. Baking, of all things, sometimes happens.
NOTE: I have no idea if they read these. Let’s hope for a ‘no.’
However, one thing that kinda bugs me is when I pass one of them in the hall. We normally do this at least two or three times as day, as we all having meetings and stabbings to attend. The first pass of the day, we usually say ‘hi.’ The second pass, we generally nod. If it happens a third time, there are embarrassed smiles.
The fourth time though, we have no idea what to do. We just kinda avert our eyes and pretend not to notice each other, even though one of us has obviously just taken the last donut from the kitchen. It’s downright awkward with extra ‘awk.’
We have literally run out of socially acceptable ways to acknowledge each other’s presence. I fear that one day, we may pass a fifth time. I have no idea what will happen. Fists may fly. Tears may be shed. One of us might well scream and throw ourselves out the nearest window. This isn’t quite as bad as it sounds, as we are on the first floor, but still.
It’s weird. I can literally work 10 hours within arm’s reach of them and not notice they’re there. It’s like we all have our own private nerd cocoons. Yet passing them in the hall could someday result in murder. Or at least, a spilled Diet 7-Up.
Cheers,
-Jason
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Epicenter of Infidelity
So, apparently Joe is a bastard. I’m a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but Sue yelled this very loudly across the parking lot at about 2 am this morning. She yelled other things too, but it was mostly an incoherent mass of swear words and screaming, sort of one long vowel movement.
Joe, needless to say, yelled back. He did call her a ‘harlot,’ so he gets points for at least shouting imaginative insults.
Joe and Sue, as you can well imagine, are not happy with each other. They yelled for a good five minutes, which is about four hours in ‘I wish I could sleep’ years. They even woke up my cat, which hid under the bed. This is impressive. Only the great ‘Gimmie my money!’ argument of ’07 caused my cat to hide quite so quickly.
For whatever reason, it seems like the parking lot directly across from my bedroom window is the epicenter of infidelity.
NOTE: Try saying epicenter of infidelity three times fast
I honestly don’t know why, unless I have some sort of strange, reverse superpower that makes people get into fights in the middle of the night, sort of a Siren’s Song of Stupidity. Anyway, I’m dead tired and my cat is sleeping on my shoulder, which makes it really hard to type (or move, for that matter). It one thing to keep me up, but when you tire a cat out, that’s saying something.
Cheers,
-Jason
Joe, needless to say, yelled back. He did call her a ‘harlot,’ so he gets points for at least shouting imaginative insults.
Joe and Sue, as you can well imagine, are not happy with each other. They yelled for a good five minutes, which is about four hours in ‘I wish I could sleep’ years. They even woke up my cat, which hid under the bed. This is impressive. Only the great ‘Gimmie my money!’ argument of ’07 caused my cat to hide quite so quickly.
For whatever reason, it seems like the parking lot directly across from my bedroom window is the epicenter of infidelity.
NOTE: Try saying epicenter of infidelity three times fast
I honestly don’t know why, unless I have some sort of strange, reverse superpower that makes people get into fights in the middle of the night, sort of a Siren’s Song of Stupidity. Anyway, I’m dead tired and my cat is sleeping on my shoulder, which makes it really hard to type (or move, for that matter). It one thing to keep me up, but when you tire a cat out, that’s saying something.
Cheers,
-Jason
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A Great Voice Silenced
Unfortunately, we've lost another one. Don LaFontaine passed away at the age of 68.
Who, you may ask? Well, he was the 'announcer voice' for over 5000 movie trailers and was recently featured in a Geico commercial. He pretty much defined the trailer as we know it today and was regarded as a legend in the industry.
I never met the man, but he seemed to be genuinely nice. Yet another small piece of our world gone.
A fun interview with him follows:
-Jason
Who, you may ask? Well, he was the 'announcer voice' for over 5000 movie trailers and was recently featured in a Geico commercial. He pretty much defined the trailer as we know it today and was regarded as a legend in the industry.
I never met the man, but he seemed to be genuinely nice. Yet another small piece of our world gone.
A fun interview with him follows:
-Jason
Monday, September 1, 2008
Long Weekend
Well, it has been a long, busy week for us here at Wayfarer's Moon.
On Saturday, Leigh and I went minature golfing for a friend's birthday. This involved being outside and hitting a small ball repeatedly into windmills and other fanciful buildings. It was great fun, even though we have the combined dexterity of an aged, possibly ill sloth and being exposed to the sun hurts us.
We decided to not keep score, mainly because this was meant as a fun outing and if we had kept score, I would have been forced to engage Competetive Mode. This means I would have sweated every shot, cursing missed opportunities, and eventually plotting to kill everyone else as that would have been easier and more efficient. We also decided to not keep score because we quickly realised that the 10-year old girl in the group ahead of us would have easily beaten all of us.
Anyhow, there will be a regular update tomorrow and the usual blogs throughout the week.
Cheers,
-Jason
On Saturday, Leigh and I went minature golfing for a friend's birthday. This involved being outside and hitting a small ball repeatedly into windmills and other fanciful buildings. It was great fun, even though we have the combined dexterity of an aged, possibly ill sloth and being exposed to the sun hurts us.
We decided to not keep score, mainly because this was meant as a fun outing and if we had kept score, I would have been forced to engage Competetive Mode. This means I would have sweated every shot, cursing missed opportunities, and eventually plotting to kill everyone else as that would have been easier and more efficient. We also decided to not keep score because we quickly realised that the 10-year old girl in the group ahead of us would have easily beaten all of us.
Anyhow, there will be a regular update tomorrow and the usual blogs throughout the week.
Cheers,
-Jason
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