Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Assassinate Your Cavities: Part 2

We take two of the most feared creatures in the universe and then combine them into a force for good. Like the old saying goes, two wrongs make a right. Or is it don’t make a right? I forget. This may explain why my brother was so upset when I lost one of his Matchbox cars and then hit him to make up for it.

Moving on.

Combining ninjas and dentists would give us an unstoppable, nigh-invincible, and above all, stealthy method of eradicating our cavities.

Think about it. You’re at home, eating dinner, when suddenly the world goes black. You wake up two hours later and discover that you were face down in your spaghetti. After staggering to the bathroom to wash the marinara off your face, you realize that your teeth have that ‘just scraped by a metal object feeling’ and that there appears to be a new filling in your #21 molar. The bill taped to your shirt confirms it. You were just visited by a ninja dentist, who knocked you out, drilled and filled a cavity, and then billed your insurance (the cleaning was done by a ninja hygienist).

NOTE: I decided to look it up dental numbering. I was close. According to the FDI World Dental Federation Notation, molars are labeled 18, 17, 16, 26, 27, 28, 48, 47, 46, 36, 37 & 38. I also learned that there are multiple ways of numbering teeth. Also, the World Dental Federation sounds like a league where dentists wrestle each other and have names like ‘The Masticator.’

It would be perfect. You’d never have to worry about scheduling checkups, as your checkup would come to you. And you’d never have to be worried about the pain or inconvenience, as you’d be unconscious via subtle pressure point manipulation or a good old-fashioned bludgeoning.

Once people get accustomed to ninja dentists, the demand will go through the roof. Now I just have to get the funds for my Ninja College of Dentistry and Assassination.



BabylonRanger said...

Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights do make an airplane. And now, an "Is it safe?" moment from the actor I can't remember seeing as I've never watched that movie.

"Is it safe?" *starts drilling*

NateBBQ said...

What other specialties get wrestlers, and what kinds of special wrestling moves do they get?

Buzzcook said...

Does this mean waiting in odd smelling offices, while listening to muzak, and reading old magazines, will be the prelude to assassination?

Jason Janicki said...

I like that BabylonRanger!

I'm sure other specialties get/have wrestlers, it's just that they're not organized. Psychiatrists would get some sort of couch-based move, podiatrists would get a foot-hold (heh). I refuse to speculate on what a proctologist would get :)

Only if the ninja wants to torture you first :)