Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Apt Reward: Part 2

KillZer scratched his head. “Look, it’s a nice stick, but to be frank, I don’t need or want it. Unless this thing hits like an Adamantite Reaver, I’m just gonna sell it.”

The king gasped. “But that’s my kingdom’s most prized possession! It’s a priceless artifact of our first King!”

“Priceless, huh?” said KillZer. “Like, ‘empty your treasury’ priceless?”
“Well, maybe not that priceless.”

“How about 15 gold?”





“Done!” The king gestured to another page who counted out 13 gold while the other page retrieved the staff.

“Pleasure doin’ business with ya,” said KillZer, as he walked out of the throne room.

“Likewise,” said the king.

“Sire,” said a well-dressed courtier as KillZer disappeared. “Aren’t you afraid that one of the days a ‘hero’ will actually want the Staff?”

“Nah,” replied the king. “If they’re wearin’ a dress, give ‘em the Sword of 1000 Truths. Armor and they get the staff.” He shrugged. “It’s worked the last 3774 times.”

“Most wise, your majesty.”



J. Alexander Van Belkum said...

Sword of a thousand truths. Heh.

But that wouldn't work for me. I teach all my characters all the weapon skills they can learn, and switch back and forth between the type of weapon they use.

's fun.

King: Here, druid, take this priceless weapon, the Sword of Very Awesome!

Druid: Oh, great!

King: Wait, what, you want this?

Druid: Oh, yeah, it's much better than my old one.

*rummages in pack, pulls out "Sword of Close to Awesome"*

King: Uh...

Druid: So...where's your auction house?

Gillsing said...

Hehe. That's the kind of king I like. Reminds me of when Artax in Nodwick was identifying items for the group, except that was more of a reverse case, with supposedly magical weapons. Except, none for him, so he had to settle for the gold. Poor guy. ;-)

Jason Janicki said...

"Alt? What's an Alt?" :)

Yeah, Nodwick was fun. I still haven't checked out their new superhero one yet. I should do that.

That thing I sent you... said...

Wow. Normally, I sorta' get this sort of thread. But this time even I gotta' say: geek out much?

No offense - seriously. I am just wondering if this refers to your own campaign(s) or to something I really should know about. And if so, how I got so out of touch!

Jason Janicki said...

If you're referring to Nodwick, that was an old, now finished comic about a fairly dysfunctional group of adventurers. It was very funny and should be checked out if you have the time :)