Saturday is game day!
I'm taking my friends through a custom horror campaign called 'The Black Tree.' It's loosely based on Cthulhu, but with my own mythology and such. It has very few rules and is meant to be played fast. XP is earned through roleplay, so the more in character you are, the more points you earn.
At present, the players are trapped in a house where a slaughter took place many years ago and are re-experiencing the events. They have to figure out how to a) end the cycle of events that led to the slaughter b) stop the perpetrator c) and simply survive. All of them may not make it, especially since a key piece of the puzzle was smashed.
Please allow me to indulge in an evil laugh. WHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! Thank you.
Look for the usual offering next week and enjoy your weekend (I know I will).
Cheers,
-Jason
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
EVIL, Inc.: Part 2
Before I continue with this thread, alert reader Lyle pointed out to me that the Tet Corporation from the Dark Tower series is, in fact, not evil. I apologize for the mix-up. I never finished the series, but have a dim recollection that they were bad guys. I think I got them mixed up with the Sombra Corporation, who actually are the bad guys. So, thanks Lyle, for pointing that out. And for completely ruining the premise of my blog. :)
Anyway, where was I?
Ah, yes. Kittens.
So, how come there are never ‘good’ corporations in movies? Is the idea that corporations are evil (pardon me, EVIL) simply engrained in our consciousness?
And if a corporation is shown as being the good guys, they’re one of two types: either an EVIL corporation in disguise or some paramilitary organization that assassinates people for the greater good.
There’s never a Kittens, Inc., whose mission statement is to ‘spread love and smiles throughout the world via the aggressive use of kittens.’
You never get this:
Rebel Leader: “All right, here’s the plan. We go in at midnight, subdue the guards, and then plant C4 throughout the building. Once we’re clear, we’ll detonate and take out those bastards’ entire power base!”
New Guy: “Great! What’s our target?”
Rebel Leader: “Those murderous scumbags at Kittens, Inc.!”
New Guy: “You mean the corporation that uses kittens to solve the world’s problems, one adorable whisker at a time?”
Rebel Leader: “But they’re a corporation! They’re EVIL!”
New Guy: “Ummm, not really. I mean, they could do more to combat poverty and disease in sub-Saharan Africa, but kittens aren’t really the best weapon there.”
Rebel Leader: “So what are you saying?”
New Guy: “Relatively speaking, we’re the bad guys.”
Rebel Leader: “Huh. Anybody know how to form a corporation?”
Cheers,
-Jason
Anyway, where was I?
Ah, yes. Kittens.
So, how come there are never ‘good’ corporations in movies? Is the idea that corporations are evil (pardon me, EVIL) simply engrained in our consciousness?
And if a corporation is shown as being the good guys, they’re one of two types: either an EVIL corporation in disguise or some paramilitary organization that assassinates people for the greater good.
There’s never a Kittens, Inc., whose mission statement is to ‘spread love and smiles throughout the world via the aggressive use of kittens.’
You never get this:
Rebel Leader: “All right, here’s the plan. We go in at midnight, subdue the guards, and then plant C4 throughout the building. Once we’re clear, we’ll detonate and take out those bastards’ entire power base!”
New Guy: “Great! What’s our target?”
Rebel Leader: “Those murderous scumbags at Kittens, Inc.!”
New Guy: “You mean the corporation that uses kittens to solve the world’s problems, one adorable whisker at a time?”
Rebel Leader: “But they’re a corporation! They’re EVIL!”
New Guy: “Ummm, not really. I mean, they could do more to combat poverty and disease in sub-Saharan Africa, but kittens aren’t really the best weapon there.”
Rebel Leader: “So what are you saying?”
New Guy: “Relatively speaking, we’re the bad guys.”
Rebel Leader: “Huh. Anybody know how to form a corporation?”
Cheers,
-Jason
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
EVIL, Inc.: Part 1
I have noticed a certain trend in cinema. No, it’s not that the serial killer somehow always manages to be in exactly the right place to impale the cheerleader with sharpened metal squirrel attached to a Slushee machine (though, obviously, I have noticed this). It’s that corporations are always EVIL. Not just evil, but EVIL. The kind of EVIL that would make Cthulhu wince and go ‘Dude!’
Just off the top of my head:
The Corporation from Avatar
The Weyland-Yutani Corporation from the Alien series
Omni Consumer Products from Robocop
The Umbrella Corporation from Resident Evil
The Tet Corporation from the Dark Tower novels (technically not a movie, but somebody’ll make it one day)
Wolfram and Hart from Buffy/Angel
Union Aerospace Corporation from Doom
Multi-National United from District 9
They’re always bent on either taking over the world or making as much money as possible, which more or less amount to the same thing. And when they accidentally create a virus/machine/garden tool that can be weaponized to kill millions, they go ahead and do it.
Now, I realize that I’m talking about the Corporations as if they were people, but they tend to pretty much employ wholly EVIL individuals as well. Take this scene from a movie that I just made up:
EVIL Henchman: “Sir, a box of adorable kittens was left on the doorstep!”
EVIL CEO: “And?”
EVIL Henchman: “I was wondering if you preferred a shish-kabob or a smoothie?”
NOTE: Just in case you were worried, the hero swept in and saved the kittens before they were eaten and made sure they all were all adopted by loving homes and given names like ‘Poopsie’ just after they taught a robot the true meaning of Christmas.
Tomorrow: Part 2 – The Iron Kitten of Justice!
Just off the top of my head:
The Corporation from Avatar
The Weyland-Yutani Corporation from the Alien series
Omni Consumer Products from Robocop
The Umbrella Corporation from Resident Evil
The Tet Corporation from the Dark Tower novels (technically not a movie, but somebody’ll make it one day)
Wolfram and Hart from Buffy/Angel
Union Aerospace Corporation from Doom
Multi-National United from District 9
They’re always bent on either taking over the world or making as much money as possible, which more or less amount to the same thing. And when they accidentally create a virus/machine/garden tool that can be weaponized to kill millions, they go ahead and do it.
Now, I realize that I’m talking about the Corporations as if they were people, but they tend to pretty much employ wholly EVIL individuals as well. Take this scene from a movie that I just made up:
EVIL Henchman: “Sir, a box of adorable kittens was left on the doorstep!”
EVIL CEO: “And?”
EVIL Henchman: “I was wondering if you preferred a shish-kabob or a smoothie?”
NOTE: Just in case you were worried, the hero swept in and saved the kittens before they were eaten and made sure they all were all adopted by loving homes and given names like ‘Poopsie’ just after they taught a robot the true meaning of Christmas.
Tomorrow: Part 2 – The Iron Kitten of Justice!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Pizza
It's roughly 9:45 chez-moi and I really want a pizza.
Just the thought of a warm crust topped with oodles of cheese, pepperoni, and pineapple makes me drool. In fact, I am drooling right now onto my shirt as I type this. Not a pretty picture, I know.
NOTE: Yes, I like pineapple on my pizza. Some of you may disagree. I'm fine with that, it's your choice.
I don't eat much pizza though, mainly due to my gall stones. It works like this:
1. I eat fatty foods (especially at night)
2. A gall stone tries to kill me
3. I am left wondering why my body hates me
It could be some sort of karmic retribution. Maybe in a past life I was some sort of gall bladder thief or something. I have no idea how that would work. I imagine I would accost travellers on deserted roads in the middle of the night and demand 'yer gall bladder or something of equally nasty!' and I would end up with a handful of poop, because gall bladders are kinda hard to take out.
I never said this would make sense.
Anyway, tomorrow is Friday, which means the day after is Saturday or 'day I play MMOs 'till my eyes bleed.' Everyone have a good weekend and look for a new Art and the usual blogs next week.
Cheers,
-Jason
Just the thought of a warm crust topped with oodles of cheese, pepperoni, and pineapple makes me drool. In fact, I am drooling right now onto my shirt as I type this. Not a pretty picture, I know.
NOTE: Yes, I like pineapple on my pizza. Some of you may disagree. I'm fine with that, it's your choice.
I don't eat much pizza though, mainly due to my gall stones. It works like this:
1. I eat fatty foods (especially at night)
2. A gall stone tries to kill me
3. I am left wondering why my body hates me
It could be some sort of karmic retribution. Maybe in a past life I was some sort of gall bladder thief or something. I have no idea how that would work. I imagine I would accost travellers on deserted roads in the middle of the night and demand 'yer gall bladder or something of equally nasty!' and I would end up with a handful of poop, because gall bladders are kinda hard to take out.
I never said this would make sense.
Anyway, tomorrow is Friday, which means the day after is Saturday or 'day I play MMOs 'till my eyes bleed.' Everyone have a good weekend and look for a new Art and the usual blogs next week.
Cheers,
-Jason
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Cupcakes!
This went 'round the office the other day and it was so extraordinarily cool that I just had to share it with you, the readers I often imagine I have.
Yes, Mom. I know you read the blog. No, I'm discounting you. Yes, I know you were in labor for over 17,000 hours. It's not my fault you just thought I was indigestion.
Anyway, apparently this person made 100 cupcakes, each with a game motif, to celebrate the 100th birthday of their house.
NOTE TO MY EUROPEAN READERS: 100 years is long time in the States. I realize you probably live next to Roman ruins or something, but we just happen to live in the one place the Romans never got around to conquering.
So each cake has a game motif and she set up a website to show them off. You can see the cupcakes and guess which games are represented. I got roughly 70%.
For example:
An amazing amount of work went into this, so I hope you all go check it out: 100 Cupcakes
Cheers,
-Jason
Yes, Mom. I know you read the blog. No, I'm discounting you. Yes, I know you were in labor for over 17,000 hours. It's not my fault you just thought I was indigestion.
Anyway, apparently this person made 100 cupcakes, each with a game motif, to celebrate the 100th birthday of their house.
NOTE TO MY EUROPEAN READERS: 100 years is long time in the States. I realize you probably live next to Roman ruins or something, but we just happen to live in the one place the Romans never got around to conquering.
So each cake has a game motif and she set up a website to show them off. You can see the cupcakes and guess which games are represented. I got roughly 70%.
For example:
An amazing amount of work went into this, so I hope you all go check it out: 100 Cupcakes
Cheers,
-Jason
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Loomfa
I chew a lot of gum. Always have. My parents used to actually buy cases of gum at Costco for me, as the packs available at the supermarket were simply not large enough to satisfy my urge to chew. Why do I like gum so much, you might ask? Basically, it boils down to one thing: a gypsy curse.
NOTE: Not much of a curse, I know, but I much prefer it over the one my brother got (vomiting blood whenever a three-syllable word is used). This really sucks as his first name is three-syllables.
Anyway, I bring a lot of gum to work and go through a couple of sticks a day. This, logically, means that I buy a fair amount of gum every couple of weeks. So imagine my surprise when I went to the store this weekend and instead of the usual package I buy, I saw this:
Yes, it says ‘Rain.’ I don’t know if that’s its name, a flavor, an homage to a Madonna song, or what. Further investigation suggested that this gum was spearmint flavored, which is what I wanted. It just seemed a bit pretentious to name a gum after precipitation. Gum is a simple thing. It should have a simple name. This is what I normally buy:
It is obviously gum and tells me immediately what flavor it is. Frankly, if a gum is named ‘Rain,’ it should taste like rain. The funny thing is, of course, that they probably spent millions on focus groups and marketing to come up with a name that has nothing to do with gum.
I can only imagine what names were rejected. For example:
Loomfa – Too scratchy
Elephant – Too large and wrinkly
Marzipan – People might reasonably expect that it would taste like this (which would be bad)
Furor – Too aggressive, but not bad for a sports drink
Heterochromia – Too science-y
Solstice – Gotcha. This is an actual gum name. Its flavor is described as ‘Warm and Cool Winter’ which I’m guessing is marketing-speak for ‘wintergreen.’
Naruto – Would likely result in a lawsuit
Orgasm – I would absolutely buy a gum called ‘orgasm’
@ – Close, but not enough people know what it’s called
Bongos – Too beach-y
I can only imagine that some executive figured that if it worked for cars, then it would work for gum. Unfortunately, no.
Hey Bob, whatcha drivin?
Camry.
Cool.
As opposed to:
Hey Bob, whatcha chewin’?
Rain.
You FREAK! (pummeling ensues).
Cheers,
-Jason
NOTE: Not much of a curse, I know, but I much prefer it over the one my brother got (vomiting blood whenever a three-syllable word is used). This really sucks as his first name is three-syllables.
Anyway, I bring a lot of gum to work and go through a couple of sticks a day. This, logically, means that I buy a fair amount of gum every couple of weeks. So imagine my surprise when I went to the store this weekend and instead of the usual package I buy, I saw this:
Yes, it says ‘Rain.’ I don’t know if that’s its name, a flavor, an homage to a Madonna song, or what. Further investigation suggested that this gum was spearmint flavored, which is what I wanted. It just seemed a bit pretentious to name a gum after precipitation. Gum is a simple thing. It should have a simple name. This is what I normally buy:
It is obviously gum and tells me immediately what flavor it is. Frankly, if a gum is named ‘Rain,’ it should taste like rain. The funny thing is, of course, that they probably spent millions on focus groups and marketing to come up with a name that has nothing to do with gum.
I can only imagine what names were rejected. For example:
Loomfa – Too scratchy
Elephant – Too large and wrinkly
Marzipan – People might reasonably expect that it would taste like this (which would be bad)
Furor – Too aggressive, but not bad for a sports drink
Heterochromia – Too science-y
Solstice – Gotcha. This is an actual gum name. Its flavor is described as ‘Warm and Cool Winter’ which I’m guessing is marketing-speak for ‘wintergreen.’
Naruto – Would likely result in a lawsuit
Orgasm – I would absolutely buy a gum called ‘orgasm’
@ – Close, but not enough people know what it’s called
Bongos – Too beach-y
I can only imagine that some executive figured that if it worked for cars, then it would work for gum. Unfortunately, no.
Hey Bob, whatcha drivin?
Camry.
Cool.
As opposed to:
Hey Bob, whatcha chewin’?
Rain.
You FREAK! (pummeling ensues).
Cheers,
-Jason
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Weekend!
Ah, it's Thursday, or 'almost Friday' as I like to call it.
As much as I love what I do, I am glad to see the weekend roll around.
We're getting close to con season again and we're looking forward to Emerald City and Stumptown. We're also talking about going to Wonder Con in S.F., but we're not sure if it's doable right now. We will definately keep you posted on that front.
In other news, I discovered that you can set an English muffin on fire if you leave it in the toaster too long. No, nothing happened, but it was frightening and fascinating at the same time. A little tiny flame sprang to life and my brain went 'FIRE' and then went 'Quick, throw water on it!' and then 'No, you're supposed to use salt!' and then 'Isn't that only for grease fires?' etc. until I noticed the little tiny flame was already out.
Ah, excitement.
Anyway, look for another installment of Art the Wanderer on Monday and the usual bloggy goodness the rest of the week.
Cheers,
-Jason
As much as I love what I do, I am glad to see the weekend roll around.
We're getting close to con season again and we're looking forward to Emerald City and Stumptown. We're also talking about going to Wonder Con in S.F., but we're not sure if it's doable right now. We will definately keep you posted on that front.
In other news, I discovered that you can set an English muffin on fire if you leave it in the toaster too long. No, nothing happened, but it was frightening and fascinating at the same time. A little tiny flame sprang to life and my brain went 'FIRE' and then went 'Quick, throw water on it!' and then 'No, you're supposed to use salt!' and then 'Isn't that only for grease fires?' etc. until I noticed the little tiny flame was already out.
Ah, excitement.
Anyway, look for another installment of Art the Wanderer on Monday and the usual bloggy goodness the rest of the week.
Cheers,
-Jason
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