Tuesday, January 26, 2010

EVIL, Inc.: Part 1

I have noticed a certain trend in cinema. No, it’s not that the serial killer somehow always manages to be in exactly the right place to impale the cheerleader with sharpened metal squirrel attached to a Slushee machine (though, obviously, I have noticed this). It’s that corporations are always EVIL. Not just evil, but EVIL. The kind of EVIL that would make Cthulhu wince and go ‘Dude!’

Just off the top of my head:

The Corporation from Avatar
The Weyland-Yutani Corporation from the Alien series
Omni Consumer Products from Robocop
The Umbrella Corporation from Resident Evil
The Tet Corporation from the Dark Tower novels (technically not a movie, but somebody’ll make it one day)
Wolfram and Hart from Buffy/Angel
Union Aerospace Corporation from Doom
Multi-National United from District 9

They’re always bent on either taking over the world or making as much money as possible, which more or less amount to the same thing. And when they accidentally create a virus/machine/garden tool that can be weaponized to kill millions, they go ahead and do it.

Now, I realize that I’m talking about the Corporations as if they were people, but they tend to pretty much employ wholly EVIL individuals as well. Take this scene from a movie that I just made up:

EVIL Henchman: “Sir, a box of adorable kittens was left on the doorstep!”
EVIL CEO: “And?”
EVIL Henchman: “I was wondering if you preferred a shish-kabob or a smoothie?”

NOTE: Just in case you were worried, the hero swept in and saved the kittens before they were eaten and made sure they all were all adopted by loving homes and given names like ‘Poopsie’ just after they taught a robot the true meaning of Christmas.

Tomorrow: Part 2 – The Iron Kitten of Justice!


Buzzcook said...

Legally corporations are individuals and as they are not human, they have no souls.
An individual without a soul tens to be evil. A very powerful soulless individual tends to be EVIL.

A kitten smoothie? Really? Talk about an epic hair baal.


Lyle said...

What? The Tet Corporation? I don't know what books you read, but in the Dark Tower, they're the good guys. They don't do a whole lot, but they're not the ones breaking the world(s).

"gunner" said...

the "evil corporation" has been a hollywood trope since the '60s at least, with "greedy capitalists" running close behind. however i notice that corporations reward work with pay cheques, and "greedy capitalists" have to pay people to help them get, and stay rich. governments on the other hand take money away in ever increasing taxes and give back sweet fanny adams in return.

Buzzcook said...

gunner corporations don't reward people with pay. What a silly concept. People earn their pay and in most cases more than they are paid.
The American business model gets its profits from paying its employees as little as possible.
If they could get away with slave labor, and in some parts of the world they do, they would.

Without government corporations would be impossible.
The infrastructure built and maintained by government lets workers keep most of their paycheck. Just the cost of clean potable water alone saves citizens thousands of dollars a year. Google up what happened in other countries when the water supply was privatized to see how much.

Jason Janicki said...

I didn't know corporations were individuals, Buzzcook. That explains a few things.

And as for the kitten smoothie, I would assume you'd strain out the fur . . .

Huh, Lyle. I didn't read all the Dark Tower books, but I could've sworn that the Tet Corp. was evil. I must have mixed up the name with another company. Thanks for the head's up!

I'll let gunner and buzzcook fight that one out . . . ;)