Next Week: Part 2

Ask anyone who’s ever worked a table. There is always at least one completely crazy person every con who will insist on talking about Uwe Boll for 45 minutes with you (true story). As they might actually be a customer or an editor from a major comic company, you don’t want to be rude. So, you smile and nod and hope that if they go on a spree, they’ll remember you fondly and not attempt to make a hat out of your liver.

That’s one of the funny things about cons: you can’t really make assumptions about the people walking by. The guy in the stained Wolverine short and jorts could be multi-millionaire while the guy in the tailored suit with the briefcase might just be trying to show people his original work: Suitman and Copy Boy, which was done in stick-figures and crayon (semi-true: it wasn’t called Suitman and Copy Boy).

Where were we? Ah, yes. Mental preparation.

Now, everyone mentally prepares differently. By far the single most popular method is beer, followed by more beer, leading to staggering, and if possible yet more beer. Said beer is generally drunk in the evenings after the con and sometimes well into the next morning, leading to vendors who haven’t actually ‘slept it off,’ as they never actually went to bed in the first place.

Yes, I actually heard ‘Dude, I think I’m still drunk’ one fine con morning as I went by a table.

I’m sure there are plenty of other ways to mentally prepare for a con. Some might read old comics. Some might walk into their local comic shop on a busy Wednesday and mention loudly that ‘Batman could totally beat Superman,’ thus sparking off a nerd riot.

NOTE: According to my mother, Superman would win because Christopher Reeve was the ‘handsome one.’ Except what she actually said was ‘the handsome one who was in that movie where he traveled back in time and fell in love with that woman with dark hair’ because she can’t remember the names of actors or movies. However, having known my mother all my life, I was able to interpret this as Christopher Reeve, as he was in Somewhere in Time with Jane Seymour.

Personally, I have a very simple regimen for mental preparation: I try to cancel a credit card. Now, if you’ve never tried to do this, it’s worthy of being one of Hercules’ Twelve Labors (right after the one where he had to clean the stables), as the person you’re talking to is being paid to get you to not cancel. They will try every verbal and psychological trick in their arsenal from guilt to coupons to dates with celebrities in order to keep you as a customer. It is the art of verbal sparring at its most intense. If you can successfully cancel a credit card, you can deal with any potential customer.

Though, I must point out that I still haven’t gotten my date with Olivia Wilde.

Cheers,
-Jason

Con Training: Part 1

Con season is almost upon us and I’ve begun vigorous training in order to prepare myself both physically and mentally.

You see, cons are not just a large gathering of like-minded people interested in the buying, selling, and conversing about and in relation to paraphernalia related to their hobby or pastime.

Well, actually, yes. They are exactly that, but metaphorically speaking, they’re a battle. The sellers are drawn up formation, their books polished and gleaming in the fluorescent light, their pens held at the ready, their cash boxes unlocked and ready to receive the booty earned from the rampaging hordes who are about to descend upon them and . . . okay, forget I said that.

Ummm, what I really meant was that cons are like circuses. There are bright lights, strange and unusual animals, noxious odors, over-priced food, and people dressed in bizarre, often frightening costumes. The sellers are like caged beasts, roaming their ten foot tables, ready to pounce on any . . . . and crap.

So, let’s just agree that my analogies suck and move on.

Anyway, you can’t just ‘do’ a con. This could result in broken pencils and/or limbs. You have to work up to them. As a seller, you have to haul boxes of goods, get your cash ready, buy donuts, and do all sorts of things. Have you ever been to a con and seen a seemingly empty table, only to discover a disheveled man in a stained Green Lantern shirt lying in a fetal position on the floor behind it?

This is a man who did not properly prepare.

NOTE: Yes, I’ve actually seen this. I also once saw a Technically Not Topless Woman. Seriously. Ask me about it.

Now, the physical preparation is quite easy. You simply need to eat as badly as possible for about a month. You see, con food is one of the most destructive things in the known universe. Do you remember how the Aliens bled acid? That’s because they ate con food. In essence: your stomach is Helm’s Deep and the chili-dog you just had is an Uruk-Hai army, intent on your destruction. So, you have to toughen your innards up to handle the pseudo-food your about to eat for the next couple of days.

This doesn’t sound too bad, I’m sure. However, the mental training is even more difficult. You have to prepare yourself to talk not only with the happy, well-adjusted comic-book fans, but also the legally insane. And yes, these are two different groups.

Next Week: Part 2

Con Season is Nearing!

We have been confirmed for the Emerald City ComicCon. Leigh and I will be there both days and I believe our colorist Leah will also be there both days, though don't quote me on that. The dates this year are March 13th and 14th.

I have also applied for Stumptown and hopefully we will get in again. It will be on April 24th and 25th.

Honestly, I'm excited for con season to start again. I really do have fun at the cons. I enjoy talking with our fans and generally just getting to meet them. We've also made friends with other creators (or 'con-buddies') and it's traditional to hang out afterwards and eat copious amounts of food. The fact that there are often attractive women in superhero costumes in no way plays a part in this.

Anyway, look for the usual nonsense next week.

Cheers,
-Jason

Tri-Cities Wrap-Up

Well, both Leigh and I survived the Tri-Cities con. It was, all things considered, pretty good. This was the first year, so it was a little small, but the staff was exceptionally nice and really went out of their way to make us feel welcome. There was even a party afterwards, but Leigh and I had to miss it due to Leigh having relatives in town.

We did eat dinner with Jason Metcalf and his lovely wife, Laura and Randy 'Rantz' Kintz. Both Jason and Randy are great artists, as well as nice guys, and I urge you to click on their links to see their work. We had a nice dinner and discussed many, many con and art related things.

However, the con was not all fun and games. I did learn something. I am, surprisingly, not as young as I used to be. You see, I got up at 4:30 for the three-hour drive and didn't get home 'til about midnight. I was up for about 20-hours and holy crap was I tired. Back in my twenties, I could have done that with no problem, but now, in my (cough) thirties, my butt was thoroughly kicked.

Look for an update on Tuesday and more blogs throughout the week.

Cheers,
-Jason

Random Thoughts

Well, a new week is upon us and I've finally gotten used to the time change. This means I only mumbled five obscenities this morning as opposed to the ten-plus I mumbled last week.

Leigh and I are currently getting ready to print the first three issues of Wayfarer's Moon to sell during the con season. This means that Leigh is creating covers, aligning margins, trimming stuff, and generally making sure that the comics fit within the framework the printer provided.

I provide what is generally referred to as 'support,' which is loosely defined as not bothering Leigh as he's doing things. Sometimes he wants my opinion:

Leigh shows me a piece of artwork.

"Thoughts?"

"Do Wookies have to have to trim the hair on their rear-ends? Y'know, like you have to do with long-haired dogs?"

"No, Jason, what do you think about the picture?"

"Oh." Considers art. "Can you put a Wookie in it?"

Cheers,
-Jason