The Little Things

Sometimes, I don't think we stop enough to consider the little things in life. Things like the way the sun hits my apartment window in the morning, casting a single ray of light across my room. The way my truck shudders when I'm at a stop light. And the fact that this weekend is Halloween and you can buy a ginormous bag of candy for roughly 10 bucks.

Personally, it's all about the candy corn. Sure, they're nothing but wax and sugar (and probably more sugar), but I can eat metric tons of them. I don't like them so much the next day, granted, but they're mighty fine going down.

Now if I could only come up with some sort of 'Peeps and Candy Corn' creation, all my seasonal goodies would meld into one massive, heart-stopping creation. And I literally mean 'heart-stopping.'

Be safe and enjoy the holiday.

Cheers,
-Jason

Almost Halloween!

If you've been paying any attention to anything lately, you'd notice that it's almost Halloween again. This means that not only are the stores loaded with candy, they're also starting to put out their Christmas decorations.

I kid you not.

Last night, whilst grabbing a few odds and ends (a shovel, flashlight, a box of garbage bags, a surgical mask, and some rubber gloves - don't ask) at Fred Meyer (a local, Target-esque store), I went by the Halloween display.

And there, just at the edge, were a bunch of artificial Christmas trees with ornaments and all the trimmings. Honestly, I could care less, but at least let Thanksgiving get out of the way before putting up Christmas decorations. It's just . . . rude.

In other news, we're having a decorating contest at work. The company is divided up into three sections and whichever section is judged to be the best gets a special prize (of unknown nature). We've spent about four hours decorating our section, so I'm fairly confident of winning. Of course, if we don't win, there will be bloody, bloody vengeance.

Anyway, please have a safe Halloween and come back next Monday for a new episode of Art the Wanderer and the usual bloggy goodness the rest of the week.

Cheers,
-Jason

Halloween Pun-ishment

Halloween is almost upon us and I have one simple request: Please stop with the puns already.

So far, I have heard, in no particular order:

Spooktacular
Guys and Ghouls
Go and ask your Mummy
[You’ll] werewolf it down
Frightastic
A howling good time
A ghost of a chance
‘Bite’ being used by a vampire

Seriously, they’re just dumb. I mean, I like a pun as much as the next guy, but these are only funny if you’re four and then, not very. And it’s not like they come up with new ones either. I heard this on the morning news cast as I was eating my breakfast:

Drab Male Newscaster: Looks like they’re going to have a frightfully good time!

Hot Female Newscaster: -laughs- I’m sure they’ll go running to their mummys!

Hot Female Weatherperson: Please stop.

Drab Male Newscaster: -chuckles- Spooktacular, one might say.

Hot Female Weatherperson: Look, I’m asking nicely here.

Hot Female Newscaster: -laughs some more- It’s not going to be dead out there on Halloween!

Hot Female Weatherperson: Seriously.

Drab Male Newscaster: -makes some noise approximating mirth- You said it. Or can I say ‘Boo’ said it!

Hot Female Weatherperson: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Runs onto the set with a machete and begins to chase them around the desk.

NOTE: That didn’t actually happen, though they did use ‘spooktacular’ and ‘frightfully’ in sentences.

This doesn’t seem to happen with the other holidays. I can’t think of a single Christmas or Thanksgiving pun off the top of my head. Easter, Labor Day, Memorial Day, St. Fructus’ Day, Arbor Day, Elbow Day, Pipe Fitting Day, all of these get to go by without comment. Halloween, for whatever reason, is rife with puns.

I honestly don’t know what to do about it. I suppose some sort of fine might work. Beatings, though fun, would get tiresome after a while. I dunno. Thoughts?

Cheers,
-Jason

The 19th!

Hey, it's the 19th! You all know what that means!

Ummmm, actually, I have no idea what that means. I'm sure something happened on the 19th, but I don't know what. Some of you, perhaps, had birthdays (Happy B-Day!). Other than that, no clue.

Anyhow, Halloween is fast approaching. I have almost all of my costume assembled, now all I need is the left-hand of a enologist. Seriously. If anyone happens to have most of an enologist around, drop me a line. I'll even take a vintner . . .

Hah! Had you going. I'm going to be an extinct mollusk.

But, if there's a enologist or vinter on hand that you just need to get rid of, I'll totally pay for the shipping.

Look for an update tomorrow and the usual blogging later on in the week!

Cheers,
-Jason

Caption Contest

In honor of our special Halloween picture, we have decided to hold a Caption Contest. In the Halloween picture, Iri is saying something to Lily. Is it a threat? A compliment? A vow to get Leigh for drawing her in that outfit? You tell us. Simply log onto the forum, find the Halloween Caption Contest thread and post your favorite captions. Post as many as you like, theres no limit.

Later in the week, Leigh and I will decide which one we like best and the winner will get a special desktop of the Halloween picture.

For those not already on the forum, the button is on the upper right hand side of the main Wayfarers Moon page (www.wayfarersmoon.com).

Happy Halloween,
-Jason

Sexy Dead People

I have realized it will soon be Halloween. I know this because there are humungous candy displays in the grocery stores and a glut of really bad horror movies on cable. Yes, I am that clueless about dates. Whenever I talk to my mother, she always asks if I called someone on their birthday, which was last week. I always reply that I did not, as I did not know. I then ask her to remind me before the actual birthday, but so far, no dice.

However, as it is Halloween, I have decided to do a few blogs about monsters and some of the various Halloween traditions. First off, vampires.

Now at some point in the last century, vampires became sexy. Now some of you may not realize this, but historically, vampires were not attractive, brooding loners with a penchant for black clothes who whined about their lot in life (unlife).

Vampires used to actually be scary. People were afraid of them.

No, really. I am not kidding.

Vampires were EVIL. Bad evil, not cool evil. They would actually kill you. And they would do it in a messy, and above all, painful way. And they were ugly. Not in a disheveled, hip, too-cool-to-care-about-my-appearance way, but in a not-human, holy &#@! what-is-that kind of way.

Vampires did not agonize over moral decisions. They did not feel pity or remorse. They did not hang out in coffee shops or Hot Topic. People were takeout food, so to speak.

Now, I am not saying these new, coiffed vampires are a bad thing (pun intended), but I think the pendulum has swung too far to one side. Sure, I loved Underworld and Blade and Buffy, but there should be some love for the misshapen, flesh ripping, soul-eating, malodorous, non-recycling, village-slaughtering monstrosities as well.

But maybe that is just me.

Cheers,
-Jason