Thursday, February 11, 2010

Define ‘Man’: Part 2

“I can see that,” Eowyn said. “Now what exactly is your point?’

“Well,” said the Nazgul, absently pushing up the glasses that would have been on his nose. “Simply that no person of the race of Men can harm me. Therefore, you should run away before really horrible things are done to you.”

“What about an Elf?”

“Seeing as how Elves and Men can interbreed, it’s arguable that they are related and therefore also fall under the classification of Men.”


“Again, merely smaller Men. We refer to them as ‘fun-sized’ back at the tower.” The Nazgul shook himself. “Is there a point to these continuing questions are shall we get back to you being defeated?”

Eowyn held up a finger. “Just two more. How about an Orc?”

“Orcs,” said the Witch-King sternly. “Are merely twisted Elves and therefore fall under the same rule.”

“Really,” said Eowyn. “I didn’t know that.”

“Are we done now?” said the Nazgul, hefting his mace.

“What about getting stabbed in the leg by a Hobbit with a blade forged in Arnor and specifically enchanted to defeat those of Angmar?”

“Hmmm,” said the Lord of the Nazgul. “That would at least hurt.”

There was a meaty ‘thunk’ and the Witch-King looked down, to see that Merry had indeed just stabbed him in the leg with such a blade. “I objec-“ was all he managed to get out before Eowyn ran him through the head.

“Wow,” said Merry. “I didn’t know you could make a lawyer worse!”



Gillsing said...

It's blog posts like this one that'll keep people coming back even without comic pages and Art updates.

Looks like there's a small typo in the paragraph after "halflings" though: "... are shall we get back ..."

Normally I wouldn't bother, since it's just a blog post, but since they're almost like main content now...

Buzzcook said...

While the difference between theory and practice in Tolkienian world space is a nice intellectual exercise and is probably the master thesis of a particularly intense and spotty grad student at Oxford's online sister school Goatford, is this really something to joke about?

After all both Merry and Eowyn are both struck with the bad breath. It is only after repeated treatments of arugula or some other noxious (but oddly popular) salad green that they over become fit for polite society.
Remember this is well before the invention of Listermint or Tic Tacs and a life could be ruined by a serious case of halitosis.

Jason Janicki said...

Thanks for the compliment and the catch, Gillsing!

Actually, I think the Rangers of the North carried Mentos. It was one of their primary defenses against the Nazgul and helped them pick up chicks :)

Thanks, Buzzcook!