Friday, March 14, 2008

Stories from the Cape and Cowl: Costumes: Part 2

“It was ’45, just before the end of the war. This Nazi cape, Der PanzerTigerhai, shows up in Washington and goes after the Whitehouse. A couple local capes go after him and there’s a big brawl, half the Whitehouse gets crushed, the Washington Monument almost falls, general mayhem all around.”

“And I mean confusion and such, not General Mayhem. He was in Europe.”

“Anyway, PanzerTigerhai finally goes down in a big fireball and everyone rushes in. Turns out, one of the capes, Liberty Gal or something, got caught in the blast and her outfit is completely disintegrated. She’s standing there in a daze and stark naked and there’s forty newsmen snapping pictures. Huge, major scandal.”

“And I mean a really big controversy, not Major Scandal, though he was just a Captain Scandal at the time.”

“I think I read about that in history class.”

The Major took a sip of Guinness. “Probably,” he agreed. “So some congressmen get together and pass a law making it illegal for capes to lose their uniforms or otherwise appear in their birthday suits.”

There was a pause, as the Street Urchin considered what he’d just heard. “Are you drunk?” he finally asked.

“What?”

“Congress passes a law and magically, our uniforms will always cover our naughty bits?”

“Yeah.” The Major shrugged. “I didn’t say it made sense.”

“That’s just . . . stupid!”

“You shoot spines out of your body. I give people migraines. Vicious here,” the Major glanced down at Vicious, who was still asleep on the floor. “Actually, I don’t know what he does.”

Urchin looked down as well. “Y’know, I’ve always wondered. Is he a Hero or a Villain?”

“I think he’s a Drunk.

“Huh.” Urchin finished off his beer and stared into the bottom of his glass for a moment. “Act of Congress, eh?”

“Yep.”

“Weird.”

“Yep.”

“Another beer?”

“Absolutely.”

Below them, Kid Vicious began to snore.

Cheers,
-Jason

4 comments:

Lurklen said...

Proof that democracy really works.

Jason Janicki said...

:)

Gillsing said...

What I want to know is if Major Scandal is a hero or a villain. The official military title suggest the former, while the actual name suggests the latter. ;-)

Jason Janicki said...

I honestly don't know. I pretty much just through in the name 'cause it sounded fun. Maybe I'll expound on that in the next Cape and Cowl.

Always good to hear from you, Gillsing :)