Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Grace of a Master


I happened to be running on the treadmill the other day when something strange happened. No, I wasn’t attacked by ninjas, mimes, or even yeti. Nor was I hit by a pie, sprayed with water (with a hint of lemon), or bitten by a wombat.

NOTE: Do wombats bite people? I honestly don’t know. I mean, I suppose they could if they were so inclined. Could be a good superhero name: ‘The Wombat.’

So what did happen? I almost fell off the stupid thing.

I’m not quite sure how it happened, as I was running along at my usual pace (1.2 mph), in a nice state of zoned out, when suddenly I was flying through the air.

Now, most people would have simply fallen, but having studied kung-fu for almost three months back in ’92, I knew what to do. As I was flying sideways, headfirst towards the wall, I slapped the bar on the treadmill with my left hand, which righted my face up. I then used my right hand to catch the wall and shift my weight, causing me to do a complete flip, whereupon I landed on my feet in the ‘typing monkey’ stance.

Seriously, it looked like something out of a Yuen Wo Ping movie. I was so graceful I almost gave myself a round of applause.

Let me reassure you that I did not fall flat on my face. I landed with all the poise of a swan that had taken ballet. I absolutely did not flail wildly for 1.3 seconds before landing butt-first on the treadmill, only to be tossed off the back of the still moving machine like a hairy ragdoll.

That did not happen. And seeing as how no one else was there, there’s no way to prove that it did.

Unless there was a ninja with a cell-phone nearby. In which case, I’ll claim it was all done in Photoshop.

Cheers,
-Jason

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, you read Dealing With Dragons, didn't you? If you really did, that is amazing. ...It would also explain a lot.

Anonymous said...

"Could be a good superhero name: ‘The Wombat.’"
Oh there is already one http://www.diggercomic.com/

Anonymous said...

Look, I get it: free comic, takes a lot of effort, life presses in and ninjas snd injuries attack - I know it's not easy.

But after a long hiatus we return to the "action" with a cul de sac in the story, followed by a few panels on armor and arcane history, and then a two-week happy fourth-of-july message. You know, I think I saw your plot on a milk carton the other day...

Jason Janicki said...

Nope, haven't read Dealing with Dragons. I'll have to check it out now :)

'The Wombat' was too good a name not to have been used yet :)

Well, Anon, we're doing the best we can. I realize that things have been slow, but life happens. I can't make any promises about updates, but I can say that we're not dead yet :)

I would love nothing better than to update five days a week, 'cause there's a ton of cool stuff coming along that only I know about (I don't tell Leigh :) ). All I can ask is that you stick around and weather the bumps.

Thanks - Jason