I happened to be running on the treadmill the other day when
something strange happened. No, I wasn’t attacked by ninjas, mimes, or even
yeti. Nor was I hit by a pie, sprayed with water (with a hint of lemon), or
bitten by a wombat.
NOTE: Do wombats bite people? I honestly don’t know. I mean,
I suppose they could if they were so inclined. Could be a good superhero name: ‘The
Wombat.’
So what did happen? I almost fell off the stupid thing.
I’m not quite sure how it happened, as I was running along
at my usual pace (1.2 mph), in a nice state of zoned out, when suddenly I was
flying through the air.
Now, most people would have simply fallen, but having
studied kung-fu for almost three months back in ’92, I knew what to do. As I
was flying sideways, headfirst towards the wall, I slapped the bar on the
treadmill with my left hand, which righted my face up. I then used my right hand
to catch the wall and shift my weight, causing me to do a complete flip,
whereupon I landed on my feet in the ‘typing monkey’ stance.
Seriously, it looked like something out of a Yuen Wo Ping
movie. I was so graceful I almost gave myself a round of applause.
Let me reassure you that I did not fall flat on my face. I
landed with all the poise of a swan that had taken ballet. I absolutely did not
flail wildly for 1.3 seconds before landing butt-first on the treadmill, only
to be tossed off the back of the still moving machine like a hairy ragdoll.
That did not happen. And seeing as how no one else was
there, there’s no way to prove that it did.
Unless there was a ninja with a cell-phone nearby. In which
case, I’ll claim it was all done in Photoshop.
Cheers,
-Jason
4 comments:
Oh my goodness, you read Dealing With Dragons, didn't you? If you really did, that is amazing. ...It would also explain a lot.
"Could be a good superhero name: ‘The Wombat.’"
Oh there is already one http://www.diggercomic.com/
Look, I get it: free comic, takes a lot of effort, life presses in and ninjas snd injuries attack - I know it's not easy.
But after a long hiatus we return to the "action" with a cul de sac in the story, followed by a few panels on armor and arcane history, and then a two-week happy fourth-of-july message. You know, I think I saw your plot on a milk carton the other day...
Nope, haven't read Dealing with Dragons. I'll have to check it out now :)
'The Wombat' was too good a name not to have been used yet :)
Well, Anon, we're doing the best we can. I realize that things have been slow, but life happens. I can't make any promises about updates, but I can say that we're not dead yet :)
I would love nothing better than to update five days a week, 'cause there's a ton of cool stuff coming along that only I know about (I don't tell Leigh :) ). All I can ask is that you stick around and weather the bumps.
Thanks - Jason
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