Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Grace of a Master

I happened to be running on the treadmill the other day when something strange happened. No, I wasn’t attacked by ninjas, mimes, or even yeti. Nor was I hit by a pie, sprayed with water (with a hint of lemon), or bitten by a wombat.

NOTE: Do wombats bite people? I honestly don’t know. I mean, I suppose they could if they were so inclined. Could be a good superhero name: ‘The Wombat.’

So what did happen? I almost fell off the stupid thing.

I’m not quite sure how it happened, as I was running along at my usual pace (1.2 mph), in a nice state of zoned out, when suddenly I was flying through the air.

Now, most people would have simply fallen, but having studied kung-fu for almost three months back in ’92, I knew what to do. As I was flying sideways, headfirst towards the wall, I slapped the bar on the treadmill with my left hand, which righted my face up. I then used my right hand to catch the wall and shift my weight, causing me to do a complete flip, whereupon I landed on my feet in the ‘typing monkey’ stance.

Seriously, it looked like something out of a Yuen Wo Ping movie. I was so graceful I almost gave myself a round of applause.

Let me reassure you that I did not fall flat on my face. I landed with all the poise of a swan that had taken ballet. I absolutely did not flail wildly for 1.3 seconds before landing butt-first on the treadmill, only to be tossed off the back of the still moving machine like a hairy ragdoll.

That did not happen. And seeing as how no one else was there, there’s no way to prove that it did.

Unless there was a ninja with a cell-phone nearby. In which case, I’ll claim it was all done in Photoshop.



Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, you read Dealing With Dragons, didn't you? If you really did, that is amazing. ...It would also explain a lot.

Anonymous said...

"Could be a good superhero name: ‘The Wombat.’"
Oh there is already one

Anonymous said...

Look, I get it: free comic, takes a lot of effort, life presses in and ninjas snd injuries attack - I know it's not easy.

But after a long hiatus we return to the "action" with a cul de sac in the story, followed by a few panels on armor and arcane history, and then a two-week happy fourth-of-july message. You know, I think I saw your plot on a milk carton the other day...

Jason Janicki said...

Nope, haven't read Dealing with Dragons. I'll have to check it out now :)

'The Wombat' was too good a name not to have been used yet :)

Well, Anon, we're doing the best we can. I realize that things have been slow, but life happens. I can't make any promises about updates, but I can say that we're not dead yet :)

I would love nothing better than to update five days a week, 'cause there's a ton of cool stuff coming along that only I know about (I don't tell Leigh :) ). All I can ask is that you stick around and weather the bumps.

Thanks - Jason