Tuesday, March 13, 2012

This Is Shaving!

I don’t like shaving. I’ve made this clear in the past, but I felt it had bearing for this blog, so I figured I’d repeat myself a little.

Shaving is just . . . irritating, in more ways than one. Not only does it take away valuable time I could be using to sleep, if done improperly (or half-asleep), you can carve the hell out of your face. In fact, I need to psyche myself up to shave the couple-three times a week I actually do it. Sometimes I shout inspirational lines to get myself worked up. I’m sure my neighbors appreciate someone yelling ‘YOU SHALL NOT PASS!’ at 9 am.

NOTE: I appreciate the irony of using a line from a famously bearded character to get myself to shave. Likewise for ‘THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!’

Anyway, whilst preparing to shave the other day (dampen face with hot water, miss, attempt to dampen face again, get face damp, scream ‘TETSUO!’), I sprayed some Barbasol into my hand and rubbed it all over my face. In doing so, I managed to get some in my mouth.

Now for those of you who’ve never tasted Barbasol, it’s not pleasant. It’s not bad. Definitely better than Brussel Sprouts. Worse than paint chips. It then occurred to me that someone should make a shaving cream that actually tastes good, just for such an occasion.

Now, it wouldn’t need to be terrific tasting. After all, you wouldn’t want people gorging themselves on shaving cream like it was some sort of fraternity ritual.
It just needs to be not bad. Also, it should have some sort of mint taste, as everything else in the bathroom is mint-flavored. I currently have Clean Mint toothpaste, Fresh Mint mouthwash, Mint dental floss, Amazing Mint toilet paper, and I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Mint ceiling fixtures.

Honestly, it can’t be that hard. You just need someone with a PhD in Mintology or something. And a big batch of shaving cream. And a lot of mint.



Thom said...

A marvellous idea - whoever does it will be minted!

rfaramir said...

For shaving tips, you could subscribe to the teapartyeconomist.com (Gary "Nickless" North):

his subscriber ad: http://teapartyeconomist.com/gillettes-nightmare-ad

Or I could just summarize his 5 tips for you.

#1 Olive Oil. Have the razor soak in it between shaves.

#2 You have down, when you don't miss, "warm, moist skin".

#3 Avoid shaving cream. He used to use Barbasol, like you and me both, now he uses Palmolive!

You and I both don't need his secret #4.

#5 is Rubbing Alcohol. I can witness that it works fine.

BabylonRanger said...

Should we be calling you "W.V" soon?


Jason Janicki said...

Or 'deminted' Thom :) (demented, deminted - I try).

Interesting advice, rfaramir. I'll have to try that. Thanks! :)

That was a cool video, BabylonRanger ;)

BabylonRanger said...

I can claim no credit there. I could only supply the link to that lengthy yet humorous comic.