Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Christmas List: Part 1

My mother has been bugging me to give her a Christmas List. This is part of our annual tradition. She wants to buy me things. I procrastinate and eventually name a couple things I would like. I typically name a few movies or albums, along with the ubiquitous ‘a nice shirt’ or ‘a sweater.’

This is all well and good, save that I am completely lying when I make my list. These are things that would be nice, but not necessarily things that I want. You see, I need to keep the list relatively short, reasonably affordable, and above all, things that she could actually acquire. Mom can probably get me a Jackie Chan movie, but the life-size model of Kate Beckinsale’s bottom is probably a bit out of her reach (she would try though, which is why she is such a cool mom).

So here it is. Things I really, actually want.

I have, if I may be immodest, great arms. The rest of me is decent. However, the one thing I’m missing is a chest. I have no pecs. Despite thousands of push-ups, bench presses, and vats of modeling clay, I have nothing. My chest is like a black-hole. Exercises go in, but are never heard from again.

A Suit of Armor
Yes, I’m a nerd. I’ve wanted a suit of armor since I read La Morte D’Arthur in the 3rd grade. And not just any old suit, I want a battle-ready suit of Maximillian armor tailor made for me. I do know where to get one. I simply lack the many thousands of dollars it would take to get it made.

Tomorrow: Part 2


Andreas said...

One of the biggest faults bodybuilders do is lack of rest, you need occasional periods of one to two weeks of relative rest, perhaps 2-3 times each year.
It will let your body build reserves of the stuff it consumes.

Just take damned good care that the 2 week pause don't turn into a "I stopped bodybuilding".

Another big mistake is lack of minerals. Vitamines, and carbs/protein is something everybody knows in the sleep, but some of the most ímportant critical building parts for muscles who people often miss are:
* Selenium (found often in garlic and eggs)(Se 34, non metal).
* Magnesium (Mg 12, a metal, reacts violently with water in pure form) usually found in spinach, broccoli, nuts and full-grains. Also used to make medicin against heartburn and in the talk weightlifters use on their hands to get better grip on the bar...
*Iodine (I 53) Often added to salt, very important to make all kinds of hormones. Found in fish and shellfish, dairy products and eggs and algea.

To get iodine and magnesium I recommend changing normal salt for "mineral salt" or "sea salt" since you probably as most people eat to much normal salt (NaCl) and get excess Sodium (Na 11) this will just do you good. Also eat more fish, just not the farmed fish, but wild seafish.... just beware of fatsolvent poisons like DDT and PCB, often found in the fish that otherwise are best for your health.

Also there are food additives you can take. I have a very hard and labour intense work, and to get rid of all the back muscle cramps I make sure to have 1-2 magnesium pills and one multivitamin/mineral pill each week, Besides trying to eat balaced food. After I started with this it made a HUGE difference, though In my case (been fat all life) it makes my chest shrink... added muscle eat more fat, and another year I might even see the muscles below all the blubber :)=

Building a body is not just pushing iron, or squats (though squats are a BIG part) but also what building materials you use.

Strange powders and steroids seldom do much good in the long run, but a balanced food along with just a few ordinary food additives for the rarest vitamins and minerals can be pure magic.

Thanks for a rocking comic, and hope theese tips helps your bodybuilding. You should try talking a bit with a dietist about this, and hopefully in a few years you will be quite the buff, just don't forget the squats, since hunks with spiderlegs are laughable :)=

/Andrew Lakehill (aka Pengan)

Jason Janicki said...

I don't actually aim to bodybuild, just tone up and look nice, but these tips will help just the same.

Thanks for taking the time to type them out :)