This is, of all things, a JCPenny commercial. It's very clever for a 'mainstream' ad and should generate some sales from viewers with a sense of humor.
http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5e32d548
Enjoy!
Cheers,
-Jason
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Preparing to be Cheerful
Christmas is creeping up on us once again and all of us at Single Edge Studios are preparing to make merry.
Insert sound of preparatory cheerfulness.
We have been staying busy as usual, what with the end of Issue #5 coming up shortly. We are already hard at work getting #6 ready for your reading pleasure.
What else, what else . . . I vacuumed? Certainly a red-letter day for me, but of little importance on the world stage. Steve and the other ninjas are now much happier, especially since I also found/cleaned a few presents my cat left for me in out-of-the way corners.
Anyhow, look for a page on Tuesday and more blogging goodness during the rest of the week.
Cheers,
-Jason
Insert sound of preparatory cheerfulness.
We have been staying busy as usual, what with the end of Issue #5 coming up shortly. We are already hard at work getting #6 ready for your reading pleasure.
What else, what else . . . I vacuumed? Certainly a red-letter day for me, but of little importance on the world stage. Steve and the other ninjas are now much happier, especially since I also found/cleaned a few presents my cat left for me in out-of-the way corners.
Anyhow, look for a page on Tuesday and more blogging goodness during the rest of the week.
Cheers,
-Jason
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Morning Mental Math
I may have mentioned this before, but I stink at math. Oh, I can add, subtract, and multiply and all the stuff (notice I said nothing about division) decently, it’s just that once you get past that I get into trouble.
Algebra was always a mystery. At a certain point in class, I just simply lost the thread. I would be doing fine, getting good scores on all my tests and then the instructor would say something like “And if we take this algorithm and make this number negative, what would happen?”
The rest of the class would have a collective “Aha!” moment and start scribbling notes. I, on the other hand, would have “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” going through my head. From that point on, I just became more and more lost until I started getting better scores on my tests by just writing ‘Albania’ for all of the answers.
Anyway, there is one type of math that I excel at. I call it Morning Mental Math (I would call it 3M, but I would get sued). Mx3 is when you wake up and have a certain amount of time before you need to actually be out the door, but you desperately want to sleep in. Therefore you start trying to figure out exactly how much longer you can sleep and what you can put off to get that sleep.
For example: Ideally, it takes me 80-minutes from getting up to arriving at work.
30 minutes on the exercise bike
10 minutes to eat
10 minutes to bathe and dress
10 minutes to make my lunch
20 minutes to actually drive to work
In a perfect world, I would be up by 7:20. However, on many mornings (ie, all of them), I slap the Snooze button and then wake up at 7:30-ish. This is when the Mental Morning Math starts.
I desperately want, nay NEED, 10 more minutes of sleep. So I say to myself ‘If I only eat half a bowl of cereal and wash really, really fast, I can sleep ‘till 7:40.’ Ten minutes pass. ‘Okay,’ I say to myself again. ‘I can do 20 minutes on the bike, but do them extra hard.’ Ten more minutes pass. ‘I really need 15 more minutes,’ I say once again. ‘If I divide 10 by 2, that gives me 5, which means that I can make 1 PBJ in half the time, while simultaneously riding my bike for 15 minutes at top speed, which means I can bathe and dress in 337 seconds, while taking the fast route to work, thus getting (4.3 x (4 / pie) + the square root of 13) more minutes of sleep and still getting to work on time.’
I hit the Snooze button once again, have a short, muddled dream about carnivorous bowling balls (they eat your fingers), and wake up at 8:18. At that point, I mutter ‘Albania’ and roll back over.
I eventually arrive at work fifteen minutes late, with shampoo in my hair, no lunch, and my underwear on backwards and on the outside of my pants.
My coworkers, I should point out, no longer bother to comment.
Cheers,
-Jason
Algebra was always a mystery. At a certain point in class, I just simply lost the thread. I would be doing fine, getting good scores on all my tests and then the instructor would say something like “And if we take this algorithm and make this number negative, what would happen?”
The rest of the class would have a collective “Aha!” moment and start scribbling notes. I, on the other hand, would have “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” going through my head. From that point on, I just became more and more lost until I started getting better scores on my tests by just writing ‘Albania’ for all of the answers.
Anyway, there is one type of math that I excel at. I call it Morning Mental Math (I would call it 3M, but I would get sued). Mx3 is when you wake up and have a certain amount of time before you need to actually be out the door, but you desperately want to sleep in. Therefore you start trying to figure out exactly how much longer you can sleep and what you can put off to get that sleep.
For example: Ideally, it takes me 80-minutes from getting up to arriving at work.
30 minutes on the exercise bike
10 minutes to eat
10 minutes to bathe and dress
10 minutes to make my lunch
20 minutes to actually drive to work
In a perfect world, I would be up by 7:20. However, on many mornings (ie, all of them), I slap the Snooze button and then wake up at 7:30-ish. This is when the Mental Morning Math starts.
I desperately want, nay NEED, 10 more minutes of sleep. So I say to myself ‘If I only eat half a bowl of cereal and wash really, really fast, I can sleep ‘till 7:40.’ Ten minutes pass. ‘Okay,’ I say to myself again. ‘I can do 20 minutes on the bike, but do them extra hard.’ Ten more minutes pass. ‘I really need 15 more minutes,’ I say once again. ‘If I divide 10 by 2, that gives me 5, which means that I can make 1 PBJ in half the time, while simultaneously riding my bike for 15 minutes at top speed, which means I can bathe and dress in 337 seconds, while taking the fast route to work, thus getting (4.3 x (4 / pie) + the square root of 13) more minutes of sleep and still getting to work on time.’
I hit the Snooze button once again, have a short, muddled dream about carnivorous bowling balls (they eat your fingers), and wake up at 8:18. At that point, I mutter ‘Albania’ and roll back over.
I eventually arrive at work fifteen minutes late, with shampoo in my hair, no lunch, and my underwear on backwards and on the outside of my pants.
My coworkers, I should point out, no longer bother to comment.
Cheers,
-Jason
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Apt Reward: Part 2
KillZer scratched his head. “Look, it’s a nice stick, but to be frank, I don’t need or want it. Unless this thing hits like an Adamantite Reaver, I’m just gonna sell it.”
The king gasped. “But that’s my kingdom’s most prized possession! It’s a priceless artifact of our first King!”
“Priceless, huh?” said KillZer. “Like, ‘empty your treasury’ priceless?”
“Well, maybe not that priceless.”
“How about 15 gold?”
“10.”
“14.”
“10.”
“13.”
“Done!” The king gestured to another page who counted out 13 gold while the other page retrieved the staff.
“Pleasure doin’ business with ya,” said KillZer, as he walked out of the throne room.
“Likewise,” said the king.
“Sire,” said a well-dressed courtier as KillZer disappeared. “Aren’t you afraid that one of the days a ‘hero’ will actually want the Staff?”
“Nah,” replied the king. “If they’re wearin’ a dress, give ‘em the Sword of 1000 Truths. Armor and they get the staff.” He shrugged. “It’s worked the last 3774 times.”
“Most wise, your majesty.”
Cheers,
-Jason
The king gasped. “But that’s my kingdom’s most prized possession! It’s a priceless artifact of our first King!”
“Priceless, huh?” said KillZer. “Like, ‘empty your treasury’ priceless?”
“Well, maybe not that priceless.”
“How about 15 gold?”
“10.”
“14.”
“10.”
“13.”
“Done!” The king gestured to another page who counted out 13 gold while the other page retrieved the staff.
“Pleasure doin’ business with ya,” said KillZer, as he walked out of the throne room.
“Likewise,” said the king.
“Sire,” said a well-dressed courtier as KillZer disappeared. “Aren’t you afraid that one of the days a ‘hero’ will actually want the Staff?”
“Nah,” replied the king. “If they’re wearin’ a dress, give ‘em the Sword of 1000 Truths. Armor and they get the staff.” He shrugged. “It’s worked the last 3774 times.”
“Most wise, your majesty.”
Cheers,
-Jason
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Apt Reward: Part 1
One of the things that always amuses me about WoW and related games is that after saving the city/realm/village/whatever, you are offered a reward. Yet, unfortunately, most of the time said reward is useless. It is indeed a very fine cloth hat with incredible intelligence bonuses, but I’m a warrior and have little use for such things. Conversely, the average mage won’t need a two-handed hammer.
Yet, the text is generally written in such a way to convey the enormous magnitude of the reward. The villager/prince/duke/king/weird-vegetable-man is genuinely grateful for your slaying of the ogre/titan/dragon/15 rats and wants you to have his/her/its prized possession.
Which you can’t use.
Of course, what do you do with it (barring giving it to a friend or alt)? You sell it, of course. Though pragmatic, it is rather un-heroic. Would you pawn your Congressional Medal of Honor? Probably not. The key to a city given to you by a grateful mayor? I don’t know, that would probably depend on the city.
However much you might like to keep said treasure, bank space is limited and you can’t really afford to keep the doohickey around, so you really have to sell it.
The question, of course, is how would that work?
The king, an ornate crown upon his head and precious jewels upon his fingers, leaned forward. “Tell me, noble KillZer, have you defeated the dread dragon of Pointy Mountain?”
KillZer shrugged. “Uh, yeah. Here’s his head.”
‘Plop.’
The king recoiled a bit, as the blood splashed on the hem of his gold-threaded robe. “Umm, I really would have taken your word for it. And the Bandit Lord? Have you bested him as well?”
“Yep,” KillZer said, opening his bag. “Got his hea-“
“No need! Really,” the king said. “Ahem, yes. And finally, Phil the Horribly-Beweaponed. Have you finally ended his twelve-year reign of terror?”
“Sure. Got his left arm here somewhere and a toe or two . . . “ KillZer began rummaging through his backpack.
“Please, no proof other than your word is necessary,” The king said, holding up his hands. “Then, allow me to name you a Knight of this kingdom and bestow upon you this!” At his signal, a page came forward, carrying a long staff covered in intricate runes upon a pillow. “The Staff of Shrieking Fiery Death! Our greatest treasure!”
“Ah.” KillZer scratched his head. “That’s a real nice stick, but do you happen to have any two-handers back there? I really need an upgrade for my sword.”
“Sorry?”
Tomorrow: Part 2
Yet, the text is generally written in such a way to convey the enormous magnitude of the reward. The villager/prince/duke/king/weird-vegetable-man is genuinely grateful for your slaying of the ogre/titan/dragon/15 rats and wants you to have his/her/its prized possession.
Which you can’t use.
Of course, what do you do with it (barring giving it to a friend or alt)? You sell it, of course. Though pragmatic, it is rather un-heroic. Would you pawn your Congressional Medal of Honor? Probably not. The key to a city given to you by a grateful mayor? I don’t know, that would probably depend on the city.
However much you might like to keep said treasure, bank space is limited and you can’t really afford to keep the doohickey around, so you really have to sell it.
The question, of course, is how would that work?
The king, an ornate crown upon his head and precious jewels upon his fingers, leaned forward. “Tell me, noble KillZer, have you defeated the dread dragon of Pointy Mountain?”
KillZer shrugged. “Uh, yeah. Here’s his head.”
‘Plop.’
The king recoiled a bit, as the blood splashed on the hem of his gold-threaded robe. “Umm, I really would have taken your word for it. And the Bandit Lord? Have you bested him as well?”
“Yep,” KillZer said, opening his bag. “Got his hea-“
“No need! Really,” the king said. “Ahem, yes. And finally, Phil the Horribly-Beweaponed. Have you finally ended his twelve-year reign of terror?”
“Sure. Got his left arm here somewhere and a toe or two . . . “ KillZer began rummaging through his backpack.
“Please, no proof other than your word is necessary,” The king said, holding up his hands. “Then, allow me to name you a Knight of this kingdom and bestow upon you this!” At his signal, a page came forward, carrying a long staff covered in intricate runes upon a pillow. “The Staff of Shrieking Fiery Death! Our greatest treasure!”
“Ah.” KillZer scratched his head. “That’s a real nice stick, but do you happen to have any two-handers back there? I really need an upgrade for my sword.”
“Sorry?”
Tomorrow: Part 2
YouTube Virus Warning!
I've just learned that there is a virus attached to a number of videos up on YouTube right now, including the one I posted yesterday. I am removing the video immediately and apologise for any harm this may have done.
For those curious, here's a post about the virus from SuperGeekBlog:
From CrunchGear moments ago, reports of a new virus are coming out just this morning. The virus seems to imbed a URL redirect to a phishing site.
The site apparently installs Antivirus 2009, which is malware. We’ll pull our most recent YouTube embeds, but be careful because this one appears to have just broken out today. If you find yourself being automatically redirected or experience other weird pop-ups, especially for something called Antivirus 2009, don’t click on anything.
Keep an eye out for more info/patches/etc on this.
The original site and text are: http://www.supergeekblog.com/2008/12/youtube-virus-actnsswift/
Again, apologies if this has caused problems for your machine.
-Jason
For those curious, here's a post about the virus from SuperGeekBlog:
From CrunchGear moments ago, reports of a new virus are coming out just this morning. The virus seems to imbed a URL redirect to a phishing site.
The site apparently installs Antivirus 2009, which is malware. We’ll pull our most recent YouTube embeds, but be careful because this one appears to have just broken out today. If you find yourself being automatically redirected or experience other weird pop-ups, especially for something called Antivirus 2009, don’t click on anything.
Keep an eye out for more info/patches/etc on this.
The original site and text are: http://www.supergeekblog.com/2008/12/youtube-virus-actnsswift/
Again, apologies if this has caused problems for your machine.
-Jason
Monday, December 1, 2008
Office Nerf
Now, I don't like to brag, but I've seen my share of office nerf battles. There's the sweet joy in watching an enemy fall to whistling orange and yellow doom, the sorrow of seeing your office-mate, a young man who just a moment ago was placing cover objects in a level, fall to his knees, a dart stuck to his forehead. The sudden adrenaline of battle, which fades to an overwhelming emptiness, as you slowly try to find your darts again. I've been there, my friends, and I hope you never have to experience what I did (I got a dart in the eye. It really hurt).
I just love this video. The sheer amount of people that they had (not to mention the nerf gear) was amazing.
Enjoy!
VIDEO REMOVED DUE TO POSSIBLE MALICIOUS CONTENT
Cheers,
-Jason
I just love this video. The sheer amount of people that they had (not to mention the nerf gear) was amazing.
Enjoy!
VIDEO REMOVED DUE TO POSSIBLE MALICIOUS CONTENT
Cheers,
-Jason
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